Happy Holidays To All

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1Shelly1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 502
   Posted 12/20/2007 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   
 Hi everyone and Happy Holidays. It has been a struggle for me to be in a festive holiday mood right now but I am working at it. It is still too raw for me without my mom I guess. She and my dad have spent the last several Christmas' with us and this year we are alone. I have persuaded my father to travel to Ga. to be with 2 of my siblings and their families. It took me awhile to convince him but I finally won out. I thought being around so many family members would help him thru the holidays this year. (My house is too boring). I put all the Christmas stuff up but I am feeling a little empty. I still feel that I can spread a little cheer to you all by wishing everyone of you hope, love, and miracles.                      Shelly
 

Pink Grandma
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Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 12/20/2007 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Shelly, Happy Holidays to you. I pretty much know how you are feeling. I've been forcing myself to try to have some Christmas spirit. You just put the name to my feelings as well...."empty". I am doing the best I can do giving the circumstances. Even got some people fooled. (They don't really know me too well though.) But what I can not do and refuse to do is ruin my granddaughter's Christmas. So if it means singing Xmas carols with them and other Xmas type stuff with them then that's what I have to do. But we are going to have a special little ceremony of some sort...just me and the girls for their funny papa. I think that they will like it. I know that I need it. Hang in there Shelly........ Thoughts and prayers
Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.


Butterflythree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 954
   Posted 12/20/2007 7:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Shelly and Pink Grandma, I also have been having trouble getting into the holiday spirit. I know that I haven't had to deal with the physical loss of my husband, but his illness really gets to me. I also am left with that empty feeling. There are also alot of other things going on in our lives that make it hard to be happy, but I am trying to put on a happy face for my kids and grandson. I have done some shopping and will be making cookies with my daughters this weekend. I wish you both the very best. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Butterflythree
 
There is always hope!


exhaused
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 445
   Posted 12/20/2007 9:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I know exactly how you all feel.  I still have my husband but at times its not really him.  It was all I could do to put the Christmas tree up.  My daughters have done most of the shopping.  But I refuse to let those darling grandchildren down.  Santa is still coming to Pap and Granny's house just for them.  I pray my husband will be well enough to enjoy it.  He used to be the one to play Santa.  Thank you all so much for all the support and kindness.  May you all find peace during this Holiday Season.    JoAnn

frustrated_n_wv
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 469
   Posted 12/21/2007 4:09 AM (GMT -7)   
To All

My heart goes out to all of you that have lost loved ones, I lost my mother seven years ago and my father four years ago, and there are times particularly during the holidays that I feel lost without them. Just wanted you all to know that I do understand. The first several years after my mother's death were empty and lonely. It does get easier as time goes on to think of those good memories without the ache of loss.
My heart goes out to all of us still going through these horrid diseases. I think it is ok to mourn the loss of our "normal" lives I know the hectic rush of this season has made me feel exhausted again and reminds me that things are not as they used to be.

I wish for all of us continued strength and happiness through the season and the year.

My prayers are with you all.

Lucy

1Shelly1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 502
   Posted 12/21/2007 7:30 PM (GMT -7)   

 Thank you all for your words of encouragement. As difficult as it is right now for me I have to count my blessings. My dad once told me a little saying when I was 9 years old before I wnt in for a surgical proceedure. It goes like this, "I cried because I had no shoes until I saw the man that had no feet." I know it's a little silly but it is true. I can not feel sorry for myself because so many others have it much worse. I guess it has helped to focus on other things than on my own loss. I baked several kinds of cookies and candies and put them in pretty containers, tied a bow around them and took them to my neighbors houses. It made them smile so I felt better for it. Love you all.

                                          Shelly


exhaused
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 445
   Posted 12/21/2007 8:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Shelly I know exactly what you mean. It always feels so good to give. I enjoy that so much. While my husband was having his Albumen treatment two weeks ago there was a young girl (maybe all of 20) having her Chemo treatment. It just made me want to hug her. She was so sick and so young. You father was a wise man. There is always someone that has it worse. Bless you Shelly for doing something nice for someone else. Merry Christmas. JoAnn

Butterflythree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 954
   Posted 12/22/2007 7:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone, I was just having a conversation the other day with my sister about there always being others that have it so much worse. I always try to remind myself of that. I saw a story on the news today about a woman that received $100 reward for finding another woman's ring. She bought toys for "Toys for Tots". It made me realize how silly I have been. I have been kind of down because I am unable to do as much for my kids this year. But there are children out there that have little or nothing all year long.

Shelly, It sounds like you had great parents growing up. For that you can be thankful. I am glad you have been able to put some of the sadness aside for a little while.
Butterflythree
 
There is always hope!


hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 12/22/2007 10:14 AM (GMT -7)   

For those of you who have suffered a loss and are still grieving, I send big hugs--but be glad that you had what you did, especially in terms of parents.  I never knew my father, except through letters and occasional phone calls after I turned 21.  Then, while in my late 20s, he killed himself.  I think I am still grieving that loss some, 40 years later.  My mother was a bitter alcoholic who never had a good word to say about anyone, including me.  Needless to say, we were never close.  In fact, for my own sanity, I had to cut her out of my life when I was in my late 30s.  I found out last year that she had died the previous year, at age 82.  I felt sad for what we never had, but that's it.

Having risen above a childhood of loneliness and despair, I now find myself grieving for a relationship that endured 13 years, but recently ended.  He told me less than 2 weeks ago that he had "met someone."  He comes from a large family and the holidays were always so much fun for me with them.  I was finally able to fill that empty place where family love and laughter should dwell.  Now, due to surgery, I have not been able to do much--sent gift cards to my daughter and teen granddaughter (who live in another county, don't drive, and with whom I'm usually at odds), and I have a little 2-ft. artificial tree instead of a 7-ft. live one.  I'm not up to baking cookies or doing much of a physical nature.  I don't expect to go anywhere or see anyone on Christmas Eve or Day.  I am trying to be grateful for the friend who will bring me a plate of food on Christmas Eve, from her family get-together; for an elderly aunt who is more of a mother to me than mine ever was, though she lives in another city; for having beat liver cancer this year--and gratitude for basic needs fulfilled:  A roof over my head and food in the fridge and cupboards.  So many do not have these basics.  And though the loss of the relationship hurts (it couldn't survive my illnesses and surgeries), I am grateful for all the good times we had.  And I'm looking forward to TV performances by two of my favorite singers on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day!

Hugs to all,

Connie


Post Edited (hep93) : 12/22/2007 5:52:28 PM (GMT-7)


1Shelly1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 502
   Posted 12/22/2007 2:12 PM (GMT -7)   

 Connie, After reading what you wrote I wanted to cry. I wish you lived near me as I would come and get you and bring you here for the day. Please  know that you are loved and that my thoughts are with you. As I said before we can all be grateful for some of the advantages we have rather than feel bad for our losses and what we don't have. The most important things in life are easily attained. The most basic and important is love. That my friend I give to you. Christmas is supposed to be a time of cheer so I will do everything I can to spread a little to those I care about and that includes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am happy that you are recovering. Before you know it you will be getting some energy back and actually feeling better.

                                             Shelly


Butterflythree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 954
   Posted 12/22/2007 6:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Connie, I am so sorry to hear about your relationship ending. You are right, you do have many things to be greatful for. You have many friends here for you. I always look forward to hearing from you. You seem to have so much wisdom. I also wish that I could come get you for Christmas. Although I am not much of a housekeeper these days. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Shelly, You have such a beautiful way of expressing your thoughts. My thoughts and prayers are with you also.
Butterflythree
 
There is always hope!


myfather
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 12/22/2007 6:50 PM (GMT -7)   
yeah  hi all, i guess were all in the same boat. i loat my father on the 18th of december 06 and buried him on the 22, which is to day, i did manage to get some christmas stuff up which is a start bought a few gifts to. its always hard on the very first holidays and it does start to get better, times starts to heal. you all try and have a merry christmas and a happy new year.
annette yeah

hep93
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 12014
   Posted 12/22/2007 9:30 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks to those who wished they could come get me.  Well, I couldn't go, anyhow--nothing to wear, literally.  This drain is cumbersome and I only have one thing suitable to wear outside with it...a loose denim dress.  I'm wearing some knit, lounger-style outfits at home and clipping the drain collection cup to the bodice.  Otherwise, it's pulling on the tubing when it hangs loose.  I've had drains before, but never one like this.  Hopefully, it will soon be history.  It's better than a spica (body) cast, which I had one Christmas.  tongue

Annette, I remember the valiant efforts you made to get help for your dad, and how difficult the holidays were for you last year.  The pain does ease, bit by bit.  Big hugs to you.

 


1Shelly1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 502
   Posted 12/23/2007 11:57 AM (GMT -7)   

To all of you, I re-read the posts today (I try to keep up with all of you as much as I can). As I read your messages today it really occured to me how wonderfully loving you all are. The kindness, empathy, sympathy, and courage that is displayed here is a gift. There is so much sadness and heartache in the world that one could become extremely dispondent and just not care anymore. However; this site provides each of us an opportunity to encourage other posters. Isn't it great that even tho we all live apart from each other we are actually quite close emotionally? I for one am so thankful for all of you I just don't know how to express it. Speaking for myself I can say that you are all a blessing to every person who crosses your path. May God Bless you all and bring miracles into your life this holiday season.

                                                               Shelly

  PS

 Did you know that it takes fewer muscles to smile and laugh than it does to frown and cry? tongue


Butterflythree
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 954
   Posted 12/23/2007 4:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Shelly, You have said it all. I am so thankful for each and every person here. This is the only place I know that I can come, and people actually understand how I feel. And I also feel better when I can help other people that are going through the same things as myself. God bless you also.
Butterflythree
 
There is always hope!

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