IBS, Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Migraines, GERD: Cymbalta, Fentanyl Patch, Oxycodone, Amitiza, Xanax, Phenergan, Levisyn: Hysterectomy, Lap-Choley.
Well, I don't have fibro but I do suffer greatly with severe IBS and have for decades now. I completely understand your inability to function as you wish you could. For me, IBS is the most dysfunctional "functional" disorder I have ever had, and I've had a few others!
For me, it's such a mish-mash of many problems. First, there is the pain and discomfort, then comes the anxiety about the pain and discomfort. This is always accompanied by a great deal of embarrassment and shame because I feel like I've allowed this to get the best of me, something I feel certain is a testimony to my "weakness of character". All of this feeds into the gloominess and regret that inevitably results from missing life's opportunities. I missed my son's engagement party last weekend because it was held in a venue 60 minutes from my home and at 8:30 in the evening. Because I am nearly incapacitated after I eat a meal, I fast all day until I am home for the day and make no plans for the evening. Going to a function like this would have meant not eating until I got home, perhaps at 10 PM. Even then, there is no guarantee that a "situation" would be averted and at the very least, my empty stomach would be filled with gas and pain by the time the night was over. These days, I try not to put myself through agony on purpose - it's enough to just deal with the random misery!
I will say this. I really try not to give in to the inertia that wants to drag me down. I don't stay in bed, not matter how icky I feel. I get up, get dressed, and at least attempt to make a day for myself. I may not get out of the house, but I will get out of my bathrobe, and attempt to distract myself from my pain. Because IBS is so closely connected to our emotional and psychological well-being, I believe that allowing it to get the best of us is only going to make things worse. While I do suffer moments of hopelessness, I will not let myself wallow in that because I do want to have a fulfilling life, even if I am limited in some ways.
Good luck and keep posting! You will get lots of support here!
I am usually on the fibro board, but I have had IBS for longer than I can remember. I have had fibro for 51yrs., so I have had a lot of experience with both. As far as the IBS, my doctor put me on lomitil and that stopped all my frequent trips to the bathroom.
You probably aren't going to like what I have to say about the fibro. First of all you are not doing yourself any favors by staying in bed for 2-3 days at a time. The 3 most important things to remember when dealing with fibro is your attitude must be good, take your meds and get exercise. Gentle stretching, walking, yoga, massage all help. You do need to take breaks and rest, but it is important to keep active. There are lots of ways to deal with the pain, and if you jump over to the fibro forum you will find lots of good advice for dealing with the pain and everyday challenges. You can learn to live a full life and join in activities with your husband if you are willing to make the effort and make a few changes.
I know that this sounds like I am being tough on you, but take it from someone with a lifetime of experience. You won't get better until you are willing to make some changes. We all suffer from the pain, anxiety, depression and challenges of living with this, but it can get better. Give the fibro forum a shot, you'll find many people there going through the same thing that you and I are.
I think we all get to that point at times where we just want to crawl into a corner and have ourselves a pity party. It's especially tempting to do this because IBS (and fibro, from what I understand) is such a misunderstood disorder. People generally don't understand (unless they have it themselves) and because it's not something one can actually "see", they often doubt the severity of the problem. I have battled this all my life with friends and family but I don't do battle anymore. I don't explain, apologize, or go into lengthly descriptions about my guts. I have learned to simply say "no" to invitations that are impossible to accept and fulfill. I have learned to tell people that I will "do my best to be there" and they all understand, after many years of knowing me, that this is code for "depends on my guts". I make sure friends and family know how much I love them and want to spend time with them but that our gatherings may have to be on my terms and not theirs. I host get-togethers at my home so that I am close to my comfort zone. I plan visits close to home and during the hours of the day when I usually feel my best (mid afternoon). I assume that if my peeps want to see me, they will be flexible and so far, it's worked out fine. There are times when it does pain me to miss an event (son's engagement party) but I try to create alternatives when these things happen. I am going to host a small engagement party at my home for the family members during the day. This way I get to celebrate this blessed occasion in a way that will be enjoyable and less stressful for me.
There comes a point in the IBS experience when you just have to stop worrying about how everyone else feels or how they perceive this disorder. I have put myself through so much shame, regret, remorse and guilt because of my inability to "join the party". But we have to remember that these types of emotions will likely lead to a worsening of symptoms as they cause a great deal of stress. No more. Learn to say "I can't do it" and then let it go.