The Intestatract 2000

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Lady Frog
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 7/3/2008 2:55 PM (GMT -7)   
The latest in space age technology, the Intestatract 2000 is an artificial intestine that is guaranteed to function just like the real thing. Special sensors trigger painless, effortless bowel movements exactly two hours after eating and for those days when you need to go now, a discrete button located under the skin will get things moving. Comes with a money back guarantee and a five year, 100,000 bowel movement warranty. All yours for six easy payments of 199.99 plus shipping and handling. Call 1-800-GOPOTTY to order now!


Can you tell that my guts are not cooperating today? First I had major( well for me anyways) C and now the ole' guts are trying to clear themselves out. It's painful, annoying and I have gone through a whole novel so far today with how many times I had to run to the bathroom. Ah the joys of IBS.

Marsky
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1956
   Posted 7/3/2008 4:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, we can dream can't we? LOL

When I'm really messed up and look pregnant again (I'm a size 6 to 8 normally), I hold my stomach (with pants slightly unzipped too), moaning - I want a transplant, I want a transplant....LOL

Not really though. Can you imagine if they ever started replacing entire colon's with ones from donors? Yikes, I have enough trouble with my own gut.....let alone one from a stranger (albeit, a kind thing to do, I've heard they may start doing intestinal transplants.....).

Anyway, thanks for the laugh!

Lady Frog
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 7/3/2008 4:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah I've rocked the pregnant look too. Got in trouble once while I was still working because NONE of my work pants fit so I had to wear a pair of my boyfriend's! I told the boss it was either that or me calling in. He was not happy. On days like today I love my drawstring pants. Years ago my mom bought me a too big pair of super comfy PJ pants and they are perfect for days like today. Nice expandable waist, drawstring to keep them up even when my waist size seems to change every hour, and the soft satiny material doesn't hurt either. I've dreamed of having a transplant but with my luck some days, I get the one the guy who ate nothing but junk food and it's permanently stuck on super stinky gas and D. What I would love is my mom's friend's boyfriend's bathroom. You could tell he had never lived with a woman because he had cable tv in there( custom built home), french doors to the back yard( he lived in the country), a telephone and a bidet. It also had an industrial fan that was mean for a machine shop( which is where he got it from). All I would need is a foot rest and heated toilet seat and I would be in heaven!

Sarita
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2486
   Posted 7/3/2008 10:53 PM (GMT -7)   
LOL, ladyfrog, your post was the first thing that made me genuinely smile all day today! Thank you so much!
Co-moderator - IBS Forum

Please always remember to consult your medical professional regarding your medical questions; this forum is intended to provide patient-to-patient support. Although some of us have healthcare backgrounds, we cannot diagnose or treat patients on the board.


Marsky
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1956
   Posted 7/4/2008 6:46 AM (GMT -7)   
I want THAT bathroom!

LOL!

Since we bought our house 19 years when it was first built and had some say in choices, we have considered building again once we're empty nesters. Not sure if it will be a condo or small ranch. If it's going to be a ranch, I want so many things......

If I had my way, 10 toilets. Stashed all over the place!

And 2 underground utilities drains, so in case one backed up, the other would be still be working.

That is my dream bathroom set up! LOL
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