Giving up and accepting life as it is.

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 11/24/2008 4:53 PM (GMT -6)   
I am 21 years old and new to this site and have found so much strength in hearing other people's stories. I have been sick with IBS since I was 9, only for it to get better and back to worse as the years and life experiences change. For a very long time I had a hard time accepting what has become my life. When I was younger, I was very outgoing and willing to go out and do anything. But as I became sick, I retreated to my room and kept close to those friends that understood what I was going through. Today as I have graduated college and seen where my life has gone, I will no longer let this disease control my life. I've been to every doctor, specialist, tried meds after meds, holistic methods and stress relieving techniques to find a solutions with little to no success. IBS drastically made me into an adult when some days, I just wanted to be a normal kid. But I will never be normal. IBS has changed my life to knowing where every bathroom is to changing my eating habits and friends. I've been angry for far too long over something I can never change. I still get frustrated and some days I get so angry over it, but need to remember that it could be worse. As of now, I can only take it one day at a time, one hour at a time (as many of you know, one hour you feel great, the next it just simply sucks!).

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1956
   Posted 11/24/2008 9:42 PM (GMT -6)   
I entered into this IBS/D phase by having part of my colon removed (due to cancer) and I've never been the same since. It's been 9 years now and my symptoms pretty much mimic IBS, that's why I find helpful suggestions and support on this forum. You will find such caring folks on this forum - trust me. They'll listen. That said, I'm 53 so basically prior to 43, I had it so good and didn't even know it. To have been diagnosed at age 9, I really, really feel for you. I just want to hug you (sorry, the mom in me is coming out). So let me just say, please stick around, vent with us, cry with us, and laugh with us too (because we do find humor in the oddest things, which greatly helps).

But it is truly hard to manage IBS when you want to fit in with the rest of the normal colon world (the age you're at and having just finished college, which BTW, congrats! You should be very proud of yourself. I'm sure that was a challenge when you didn't always feel well).

If there is one thing that has helped me the most is letting go of the old me. This is the new normal and there's not much I can do about it but eat a certain way (small meals, plain food, low fiber), time when I eat, keep my stress level as low as I can, say no a lot and well, never apologize either for the way things are. You can't help the situation you find yourself in, all you can do is work with your symptoms as best you can.

I wish you the very best and encourage you to stick around!


New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/17/2008 12:01 PM (GMT -6)   
ive had IBS for about 3 years now and i am currently turning 17
i know much of this pain
especially it coming into my life at the worse stressing time
ive had all the tests done
i couldnt name them all
but looking at how much pain i endure on a daily basis i understand that life isnt fair
i feel your pain my friend
i really do

Jamie lee
Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 12/18/2008 4:56 AM (GMT -6)   

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 74
   Posted 12/18/2008 2:44 PM (GMT -6)   
i have been told i have ibs c too -- im always stopped up -- miralax helped and the etc but they stopped working after awhile- i can see a stoma bag in my future! on top of this issue (and probably related) i have a nice burning painful bout of gasritis going on too and now im on constipating meds like prevacid --

really discouraged

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 333
   Posted 12/18/2008 11:11 PM (GMT -6)   
haktryn1110 I am so trying to feel how you feel about IBS I've let myself become so isolated from other people that I've really become lonely.I've even distanced myself from my family especially my sister we used to be so close but now I hardly see her cause I choose to not spend time with her because of my IBS symptoms. I just can not get myself to go out and be around other people without feeling fearful that my symptoms will act up in public.I'm also scared of opening up to people about my ibs fearing they will not understand and will not want to stay around and accept that this is what I have.I should not really care but I need to get over the fact that this is something that I cant change and it is what it is and if someone cant understand then they do not need to be in my life.I'm really trying to work and talk that over in therapy to not feel disgusted or embarrassed over something that is a normal bodily function and just say **** it and live my life and not let it pass me by or let ibs get the best and all of me.I really do not know I do I just cant accept that this is my fate that will be with me for the rest of my life I still have hope that it will get better and I'll go back to how I used to feel but that realization is there that I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life and just cope and try to live my life to the fullest.I do not know how to do this I do not like change especially when it's bad I just really want to be my old self I want my freedom back!!!!!!! I would really like to read anyone's experiences with not letting IBS rule their life to where you can function and have friends and enjoy your life.What do I need to say or do to not feel embarrassed or disgusted over my symptoms and how do I open up to people in explaining living with IBS.Trust me I've tried to and my words get all jumbled up and I get nervous that people will just cringe at my explanation of IBS.Guys please I need your help and advice when I come on here I'm reminded that I'm not alone but in my reality I feel alone cause I have not been able to meet anyone like me or you all dealing with IBS especially in my age group.This would not be so hard to deal with if I had someone in my life that I could really relate to to share stories and just spend time with without feeling scared or nervous that I might need to run to use the restroom once or more then once.I will really look forward to reading anyone's advice or experiences wishing you all good digestive health take care. :-)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1956
   Posted 12/19/2008 8:19 AM (GMT -6)   
It is truly very difficult to manage IBS when you are among people without IBS issues. To me it seems as if the entire world can eat anything they want, hold it until they get home (wouldn't that be so nice, to those of us that struggle with urgent needs) or those that suffer from the pain of C.

I stumbled into IBS/D from having almost all of my sigmoid removed due to cancer. Along with 15 more inches of my colon. All I know is I am forever - changed. I will never go back to my old - one dump a day - mode. And also my old - eat anything I want without explosive results - either. Those days are over. I try not to get down about it or negative. I have found that if I just say to myself, in my mind, not outloud, oh well, this is the way it is now, this type of thinking, really helps me remain as calm as I can. I basically have now accepted my situation. I used to try and educate others about IBS or at least explain why I have so much trouble. I no longer do so. If anyone asks, I say I'm a cancer survivor, I had an important part of my colon removed and I now have to eat a specific way (very small meals, plain foods and sometimes not eating at all!) and I need a bathroom frequently (ha, if they only knew!).

I guess what I'm trying to say is the general public without IBS issues or concerns, cannot grasp or even begin to understand what we go thru. Once you face this hard fact, then you can work on your own individual approach to your situation.

I do think support and understanding is extremely helpful. So this forum is a God-send! But I get the distinct impression many of us wish the people we interacted with 24/7 - family, coworkers, bosses, friends, neighbors - understood what we struggle with. Once I let go of this dream coming true (they'll never truly understand any of this), I finally began to resolve my attitude realizing I am changed forever. This is basically the new me.

Please know I only want to help but these are the things that have helped me. I've been at this for over 9 years now. Almost 10. I haven't found a cure but a different attitude towards it all. Hope this helps. I'm sharing what works for me in the kindest, most gentlest way I know how. Not trying to judge or criticize. I'm sure others have found what works for their needs as well. Perhaps we could start a new thread asking members to share tips on "Coping with IBS/D or IBS/C"?

Marsky/Mary's story.....
- Diagnosed with rectal cancer, April 1999 - Stage I, no treatment necessary
(5 hour colon resection: 90% sigmoid removed, 15 inches of colon removed, gall bladder removed, given temporary colostomy)
- Colostomy reversal, June 1999
- Left with IBS/D symptoms, multiple bm's every day
- On a low residue diet at least 75% of the time
- Takes Colace 50 mg each evening

All in all I do okay, I just use the bathroom A LOT! But I survived and beat cancer!

Post Edited (Marsky) : 12/19/2008 6:23:22 AM (GMT-7)

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