If your eyes feel gritty, they are probably really dry. There are some good OTC drops that will lubricate your eyes, check with your pharmacist.
You can try cleaning your eyelashes twice a day with an eye scrub, available in drugstores. Regular baby shampoo also works well and is cheaper, plus you can use the leftover shampoo. Put hot compresses on your eyes at least 4 times a day. A clean washcloth and hot tap water is fine, just make sure it's not too hot. Use OTC eye lubricant following the directions on the label. If you don't get relief within 2 weeks, check with a eye doctor to rule out other serious or treatable problems.
The above directions were given to a friend by his eye doctor.
And yes, dry eyes are more common in menopause and peri-menopause.