Awww jt, I wish I had an easy answer or fix for you but I don't.
Here's one thing I have learned the hard way - food and social situations (whatever they may be, you hosting guests over or being a guest in someone's home, or attending a sit down affair such as a wedding) just do not mix.
I either do not eat at all or eat very, very lightly.
I guess in my case I've learned that most people don't even notice I'm eating very lightly. If it's a party for example, I just do not eat. Many people around me are but I don't partake in food. I sip a beverage. If anyone asks why I am not eating, I fib and say - oh, I'll eat later or not hungry. If it's a sit down meal, I order a very small item from the menu and then pick at my food when it arrives. I make it seem like I'm eating a lot of food, but in reality I am not. I sometimes cut this item/entree in half or 1/3 to 2/3 and then ask for a doggie bag for the largest uneaten portion. Again, most people are not watching what I am doing (not eating!). I just say - oh I had a large lunch today, I'm full already.......I pull out all sorts of tactics to get thru these social situations that also involve food.
For me personally I have noticed that if I skip food before an event, don't eat during the event, I have almost no output. If you are having guests over, just keep busy in the kitchen. When you offer an appetizer, don't eat it. Just fib and say you've tasted it. Even if you have to set a fake timer in the kitchen, do it, and then excuse yourself. Pretend you're checking on food or washing dishes.
Then when it's time to eat, put very little amounts on your plate. Or if it's a large group, don't even eat. Just tell your guests you enjoy cooking too much to not do it and you'll eat later.
I know of two people who can't eat at all in social situations. The one is a 64 yo man, he has to eat by 4 every afternoon, otherwise he can't sleep because of severe heartburn. But he and his wife go out to eat with other couples on a regular basis. He has told all these people ahead of time, I'll go out with you and but I cannot eat. And he says once he explains it, everyone is fine and they all end up talking more than eating anyway. The other is a woman with severe scar tissue, due to several surgeries, she can only eat very small amounts of food at one time. She loves cooking so much, that she invites guests over all the time but each guest knows ahead of time that their hostess will not be eating. How courageous she is.
I am so sorry you feel so isolated and alone. You're not. We're all here for you.
- Diagnosed with rectal cancer, April 1999 - Stage I, no treatment necessary
(5 hour colon resection: 90% sigmoid removed, 15 inches of colon removed, gall bladder removed, given temporary colostomy)
- Colostomy reversal, June 1999
- Left with IBS/D symptoms, multiple bm's every day
- On a low residue diet at least 75% of the time
- Takes Colace 50 mg each evening
All in all I do okay, I just use the bathroom A LOT! But I survived and beat cancer!