Hi I'm Backed up and still smiling.. well mostly. I just wanted to try cyberspace as a safe place to explore my colon?
I have spent the time that I haven't spent in the Loo (I affectionately refer to it as the "Sand box") this fine day reading the posts about our collected BMs or in my case lack thereof...
I am so grateful to have found a place to talk about this lovely, embarrasing evidence of my mortal state with all of you fellow IBSers, and other assorted bowel disordered flavors of "gifted" souls out there.
I was married for over 20 years to a man that hardly noticed that I was there. He also thought that my "problem" (that I have had my entire life (Always rabbit pellets, no S curves for me no sir!) was just something I would have to live with. My son's issues were/are far more challenging than my cement bowels. He is on the ASD spectrum and used to smear his excrement expressives on the walls. Given that situation, I was shall we say distracted enough to just keep trying everything OTC, healthfood stores, dietary etc, and well, live with it for the last 2 decades, until the last year and a half. (My ex finaly physicallyleft 3 years ago)
Now, I am a little less distracted and currently have a bit more opportunity for some "Me time" Ha, ha, hope it's not only time driving the porcelain bus? Hell, I would love a round trip for a change that didn't include the water works as a travel stop? Can I get a "You Go Girl?" Let me tell you the images that statement brought up for me. I used to flip onto Oprah, so I could hear her say that and hope that from her mouth to God's ears and my... well you get the idea. I don't mean to offend anyone with my rancour, I just have found that through all of my life the only effective therapy for the trials has been the wisdom of knowing that one really must laugh, life's too short not too find the funny along with Aunt Emma's bag?
Anyhoo, Now that I am entering the 40-something set, well 3 years ago I started anyway, I have been given the rare opportunity to be a teenager again! Weight back to nearly pre-wedding, hair done, nails, even my first pedicure at 41 two years ago.. (Well, I had this ingrown toenail and thought what the hay? Could work, cheaper than the Podiatrist, and I could put ladybug spots on my feet if the spirit beckined...(blush) also I am now even daring to sport mildly hot girl clothes, well at least not Frump Mom from the burbs anymore (my former designer, ladies you may be familiar with her she specializes in no neck lines and the "Roomy I've given up look?)
So the point is that with all of these other standard and nonstandard upgrades of the old chasis.. I have finally seriously looked at me bum and well...I am finally "OUT" of the bathroom so to speak.
Ironically, I have also started dating and THAT has been the greater challenge comparitively. But this is relevant as now I am seeing someone who not only notices me, but has compelled me to find a better doctor and really take care of me for a change.
I'm still not comfortable with "Me" time (All the Moms/wives/partners out there say A'men, or dare I...A'woman? ;-) At least those of us of this generation? ie the 40 and fabulous sect? Feel free to throw feminist advice at me, I'm learning, and truly, I'm attempting to roar, and now my stomach is roaring for an audience , so here I am "OUT" of the bathroom.
All of you who have long term husbands/partners/family who understand and help you, may not understand hiding farts for months from a new man, classroom, cashier, child, workplace... You may not also understand about the act of trying to stand next to the elderly transient so that perhaps he will be credited with the odor that eminates from your faithless, derrierre.
You also may not understand the stocks invested in GasX, Beano, or the hiding of the water-works and various other tools of the BM trade. Please ladies, gentemen, (some don't have contests of flatulence with or without elevator intervention) don't ever take that support for granted. I am currently being evaluated for more serious health issues with my colon as well and my age isn't even one that screening is recommended for.. I am trying not to worry about words that start with C and end with R.. Life is so short and most of the time we don't really live do we?
I'm really not channeling Pollyanna, but I am grateful for my life and I am so very grateful that I found a place where I have met all of you, who have the courage to be vigilant if flatulent and come out with me.
OK, Now, the serious note, (at least that's the intention)
I am on my very first day of the new drug Amitiza..It sounds like Amnesia in Latin, I also am an adult ADHD card carrier, so I appreciated the irony of the phonetic coincidence...( but have a 3.89 average at 40 plus baby! it's hard to do Pythagoreun Theroms at this age , much less spell them.. excuse my lack of spell check if I didn't ) Anyway thus far, my lack of intestinal fortitude, hasn't yet effected my occipital lobe and my (hopefully) intellectual fortitude?
Oh well. Might be interesting to find out if any of you also share that "gift?" of ADHD I have certainly heard about the stress factor, connected to IBS and the other assorted colonic colors of dysphoria, but if stress was the only connection for me I really would spend everyday doing the "Activia Shuffle? LOL (also no luck with probiotics yeast free, dairy free acidopholus, mirolax Motor oil (affectionately termed Lactulose ) I suffered an obstruction in my 20's and haven't since, but they had bets on me in the hospital since even that medicine didn't work.. I told them to give it up that I was frankly Full of crape, and anyone who knew me would concur... but I digress..
You may have noticed if you aren't completely annoyed with the "flush" quality of this post... I believe that laughter covers a multitude of pain abdominal and Arse included, and that life is always throwing us curves of some kind. Hopefully after I take a course or two of this medicine, Amitiza, my next curve will be S shaped! Whoopie for Poopie!
Ok. Thanks for letting me "unload" as it were. It is so very cleansing (no pun intended) to know that this problem, gift, quirk, curse, wrinkle, knot? Cosa, Thing... ad infinitem', is no longer something that I have to hide from and hopefully some of this post will help someone else come OUT of the bathroom or in my case have a "normal" reason to visit that particular venue? sans the confused waterfall? AKA Aunt Emma?
All kidding aside, I'm glad you all exist in that great Bathroom in cyberspace!
Take care of you and all of your Bums and Tums.
Love, hugs and soft environmentally friendly (is there such a thing) toilet paper,
And for those who need them, here's to many happy returns of the day...Ala Pooh? ;-)
Weird is Wonderful!