i ain't down with IBS

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bunnybabe
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 10/28/2005 6:02 AM (GMT -7)   
i have a problem.  i have been on and off with tears for a bit now.  i had another dr. appointment yesterday and once again, "everything is fine you just have IBS".  so no Celiac, but i may just be sensitive to the gluten.  so he told me that "if it upsets your stomach, stay away from it"  [side note, he has a strange accent that i cannot mimic and it frustrates me, i used to learn how to do a different accent every year--for fun--and i cannot do his]  but i feel like i have been more of the doctor than he has, i am the one asking for tests and trying to find out what does and doesn't work and trying very hard to be positive and stress free [impossible].  but he put me on a anti depressant [which made me depressed, so is this all in my head?  and how come he can perscribe this?] and zelnorm--which is for constipation isn't?  i poop too much, what the f?  (Very sorry--i am just at the end of my rope)
so i think that maybe i am really depressed, i don't know what is bothering me so much.  maybe because i have the capability of crapping my pants?  maybe because i have a spreadsheet of what i eat, when i go, what stresses me out, what pain i am having, even what my goals are for that day?  maybe because i spend more time crapping then i do doing anything else...
for some reason i cannot accept ibs into my life.  i was told i had it while in college, but was given bentyl and told that it would go away--so i got some bad info.  then again i was told it was ibs, given bentyl again and had no test done--so i thought i was being written off and shoved aside.  now again yesterday he tells me it is ibs and starts writing me a script for bentyl and i screamed out NO--it doesn't work-- i don't want bentyl, i want to not hurt, not be starving, and be able to hold my poo long enough to get to a toilet without sprinting!  and so he wrote out zelnorm and a "happy pill".  i feel like i am being written off again.
i spoke a counsler i have a work--i needed to talk to someone-- and when my PCP's office opens i want to make an appointment to get another referral.
but i think my problem is that i can't handle something like this---i want control.  i have been through a lot in life, bigger stuff than this, but for some reason it rips me apart to know that this is the way it is for the rest of my life.  i am hopeless right now.
i love this forum, but i read all of your posts--and understand you and know that everyone of us feels the same but i haven't heard the hopelessness from anyone.  how do i accept that i have ibs?  did anyone go through this?  and how did you get out of this hole?
thanks,
---bunny
 
 
what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?


Evie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 10/28/2005 6:32 AM (GMT -7)   

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((massive hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you feel like this Bunny.  Trust me, you're not the only one who feels like that.  At the moment I feel pretty much the same as you, but I try not to let it show - dont ask me why.  Maybe its because the people around me don't have a clue what i am going through and I don't want to share it with them because they aren't really interested.

I got ignored by my doctors for ages - its only becaue I have managed to see a new doctor this time that I have got anywhere.  Any time in the past i have been its been a prescription for Buscopan which never worked for me, and that was it.  No real tests, nothing.  I hate the fact now that I could be happily sitting at my desk at work, or just watching TV at home and from nowhere I have to make a run for it to the bathroom, and more and more the last few times it has happend its been touch and go whether I would get there in time.

I would probably consider myself a bit of a control freak, because of all the things I have been through in my life I have become very independant and like to do things for myself, and not have someone to rely on.  So now, because this illness has come out of nowhere over the past 3-4 weeks, I feel like it's controlling me - what I eat, where I eat, how much I eat, even where I go and how long I think I can stay there for.  I want to go and watch a film at the cineman this weekend but I just cant because I would probably end up missing half the film!

I don't know how I try and stay positive - tomorrow will be a differnt story when I'm on my own and I can be how I want to be - which is miserable, feel sorry for myself and probably cry buckets.  the draining feeling I have had recently because of the sleepless nights and the frequency of the toilet visits is phenominal for me.  I'm normally full of energy and always on the go, laughing and talking.  This last fornight I couldnt have been quieter if I wanted and even my husband has noticed now when I'm in a good mood.  I feel like I want to take my entire body back to the shop for a full refund and exchange, because I got sold a faulty one.  But I cant, and that feleing of frustration is just so overwhelming.

Maybe when things calm down for you you will feel better, and I really do feel for you at the moment.  Its hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel when it's this bad.  But keep on at your doctor until he will do something for you.  Perhaps you should show him the leaflet that someone posted in one of the other threads about what people should understand about IBS when they don't have it!

I really hope you feel better soon.  Go ahead and cry - I'll probably be joining you in a few hours!!  ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bunny))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))00


bunnybabe
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 10/28/2005 7:11 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks evie girl!
even my dog is whining and upset this morning! as of this moment i am ok. i am working on a project from home and i just want to take today one moment at a time. but i am so fustrated, i have become a bizzarro person i never was! i used to do stand up comedy for pete's sake! i still write but all my material is about poo! (which is funny, how could it not be?)
but i have made a little plan for myself, yoga maybe a run later, and taking it one bit at a time. i cried a lot, i am dry now--probably cause my ducts are busy making more for later...
your hugs are very sweet, thanks...
i guess it is one of those days...i am sorry you feel this way too--it sucks, i think the hopelessness is worst than the poo-- i can buy new underwear! i can't buy hope.
--bunny
what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?


dbab
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 10/28/2005 8:16 AM (GMT -7)   
(((HUGS BUNNY)))

Have you looked into changing doctors? This is your right and nobody should feel like that they don't trust or believe that their doctor is not helping them. You sometimes have to kiss a lot of frogs too but finding the right one is worth it. If you do change docs, you are entitled to your medical records so make sure you get everything in your chart.

As for the anti-depressants, this is not an uncommon approach to treat IBS. Recent research has been done and shows that the serotonin in these anti-depressants are beneficial to the gut as well. It does not necessarily work for everyone but it does help some and I believe that its worth a try. I believe it can't hurt given the fact that we are dealing with the stress that we face with IBS also.
Hugs, Des
Co-Moderator ~ IBS Forum
 
"Sometimes I'm afraid, and I don't feel that tough...But I'll stand back up" - Sugarland
 
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7Lil
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 3269
   Posted 10/28/2005 8:33 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Bunny, GREAT BIG HUGS FOR YOU!
You are absolutely not alone in how you are feeling about IBS.  You should see my first posts to this site.  I was a miserable wreck.  I still am some days.  It is hard to accept you have this condition which causes you to have endless diarrhea, and sometimes not even being able to make it to the toilet.  Most of us feel like prisoners in our own homes.  It's depressing.... no wonder many IBSers are on antidepressants.  I'm not, but honestly, I think I should be.  Life is hard enough as it is, and then you throw in IBS and it seems hopeless.  I wish I could help you but I can't; you have to accept this disorder at your own pace and come to terms with it.  Then figure out the best way to cope and manage it.  I'm not even sure I have accepted this fully yet.  It is mind-boggling to think I have something doctors can't fix.

I'm curious as to why your doc prescribed Zelnorm if you have IBS-D.  I'm not a doc but I have serious doubts you should be taking it unless you skip going to the bathroom daily.  The papers that come with Zelnorm clearly state not to take it if you have diarrhea.  Your doctor is a quack.  Please consult your pharmacist before taking Zelnorm.

Bunny, Evie, I wish I could write something to make you feel better about all this.  Hopefully what my doc told me is true.... eventually we will grow out of this.  In the meantime, it is probably good to take probiotics and multi-vitamins to replenish all we lose when having D.

Big hugs to all you IBSers! 



Co-Moderator for the IBS Forum
 
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Evie
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Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 10/28/2005 8:34 AM (GMT -7)   

I apologise for laughing, but dbab, what you said about anti-depressants being beneficial to the gut made me giggle.  But in the easiest possible terms, I suppose our guts ARE depressed, and thats why they are miserable.  Stress makes them feel worse, so we need to keep them happy.  If only it was as simple as this in real life!!  I would treat mine to a day at the seaside, with an ice cream, a few rides, some candyfloss, anything it wanted.  If it would just tell me how to cheer it up then i could do it!!

No, I'm not on drugs - I know what I'm trying to say but I'm not always that good and trying to get the words out!


dbab
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 10/28/2005 8:47 AM (GMT -7)   

The concept does sound funny but I promise I don't make this stuff up... take a look: :-) http://www.aboutibs.org/Publications/serotonin.html


Hugs, Des
Co-Moderator ~ IBS Forum
 
"Sometimes I'm afraid, and I don't feel that tough...But I'll stand back up" - Sugarland
 
Please help Healing Well continue to help others by donating  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 
 


bunnybabe
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 10/28/2005 9:11 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks, i am going to get a new doctor.
oh, i forgot to mention that he also told me to take immodium round the clock. won't that stop me all up???

thanks for the info about medical records--i was wondering about that.
i haven't taken the zelnorm yet, two pharmacies were out of it --is that a sign or what?-- but he also perscribed me a lower dosage--i don't know, i want to read more about it. he also questioned why i was taking digestive advantage and to bring it in to him next time.
i am also slowly upping my acidophilus, how long does it take to "kick in"? cause remarkably i have only 'gone' once so far (it is my emotional self that is having the diarrhea attacks) and so i am wondering if maybe the acidophilus is starting to help me... normally by this time in the morning i am wiped out from 10 or so trips to the toilet and on my way to work the afternoon...and starving... so that is fantastic!!! and i am very stoked about that!!!

my greatest fear is that i let it take over my life--but it already has, and i dont' know where i was when it happened! i feel i need to reclaim it, but i am stuck. it seems i get really energized and in control, then i'll get one of these days and feel like i am back at square one--i don't mind if i am going to be down once in a while, but i need to some how have a plan for myself that i will be okay again....
thanks you guys...
---bunny
what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?


sick&tired
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 10/28/2005 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   
BB--
I got to the end of your message & I'm crying right now (and I'm on 2 anti-depressants!), so I'll have to respond later because I can't see the keys....

bunnybabe
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 10/28/2005 1:09 PM (GMT -7)   
oh no don't cry!!!!
please don't,... come back... you okay???
-bunny
what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?


bunnybabe
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 10/28/2005 1:16 PM (GMT -7)   
sick & tired,
i am worried about you...are you ok?
please respond when you can--i just want you to know that i care and everyone else cares too...
--bunny
what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?


7Lil
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 3269
   Posted 10/28/2005 1:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Bunny, I think this thread touched all of us. We are all miserable with IBS.

It's just nice to know there are others out there who understand.
Co-Moderator for the IBS Forum
 
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bunnybabe
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 10/28/2005 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks lil, i worry--it is what i do best...

but that is exactly why i knew i had to post this morning, i went so long thinking i was the only one with crap problems and then i find out i am wrong--so today i thought i was the only one stuck in a dark hole, i thought i could be wrong again... and i am sorry to find that people understand...

--bunny
what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?


Sarita
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2486
   Posted 10/28/2005 1:43 PM (GMT -7)   

It's okay to cry.  We need to sometimes!  Your post was a catalyst, Bunny, and that is actually something to be proud of.  Way to get people emoting!!

Bunny, I totally sympathize.  When people are told they have IBS, it's basically saying, "You have this thing we don't really understand, and we'll give you some drugs to stop you up/get you going/relieve the pain if we can." Otherwise there is not much they can do.  And it is so frustrating.  I am in the same boat.  What you need to do, though, is find any doctor out there who is dedicated to your case and willing to work with you.  It doesn't matter if they can cure you; the fact that they are simply THERE for you makes all the difference.  Willing to hear you out, try new things.  Your current doctor is not doing that.  On the contrary, he seems to be prescribing drugs that are contraindicated for you and hiding out in the dark.  Fire 'im.  Be pro-active, girl, and ask for recommendations from co-workers, friends, etc. for another physician.  It will make all the difference, I swear!

We are all here for you too.  Having a chronic illness just plain sucks.  But it teaches you some fundamental life lessons: how to sympathize with others.  How to keep going, even when you can't get off the toilet.  And some others.

I'm sorry you're feeling so discouraged.  We will all have good days and bad days and there are people that will pick you up when you're down and keep you up when you're up.  A lot of them are right here on this board.  It's too bad you can't see them or hear them or touch them, but just knowing they are out there is a comfort.  Hang in there girly.


dbab
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 10/28/2005 2:50 PM (GMT -7)   
We can all have a good cry together... it makes me happy (and sad too) that I'm not the only one that goes through this... and as we all cry for ourselves, we cry for one another. (((HUGS))) to everyone, you are all truly a family to me.
Hugs, Des
Co-Moderator ~ IBS Forum
 
"Sometimes I'm afraid, and I don't feel that tough...But I'll stand back up" - Sugarland
 
Please help Healing Well continue to help others by donating  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 
 


clydesdale
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 10/29/2005 3:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi bunny....

I know just how you feel too :-(

I just passed up on a 4 day trip to Queensland (tropics of Australia) because I was too worried about getting diahrrea in the plane, and during the 1 hour car trip to the hotel.


My boyfriend went without me (it was for a conference) and now I'm by myself at home, feeling really depressed...

Everywhere I go, I'm constantly scoping out for the nearest toilet. ... just in case.....

I take 2 Immodium tablets when I have a bad episode of diahrrea, but it usually blocks me up for a few days afterwards. Have tried the anti depressants, but they caused problems such as sleep deprivation and numbed emotions (never felt happy or sad... ) Also had a myriad of other tests that all turned up negative.

What puzzles me is that there are so many people with IBS, surely the researches must have found some correlation between us all.....

dbab
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 10/29/2005 8:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi clydesdale,
Welcome to Healing Well :)

I have made my hubby less than happy on many occasions because of not wanting to go somewhere for the fear of not having a bathroom handy. Many people on here have expressed this also. Its very sad that this whole thing messes with our lives and while the doctors can say all they want that there is nothing wrong with us, our lives are being destroyed by it.

This is a great forum with great people that you can come to and vent all of your frustrations here because we all know what its like. I hope you keep posting.
Take Care
Hugs, Des
Co-Moderator ~ IBS Forum
 
"Sometimes I'm afraid, and I don't feel that tough...But I'll stand back up" - Sugarland
 
Please help Healing Well continue to help others by donating  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 
 


Evie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 10/29/2005 8:44 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Clydesdale and everyone else...

I have struggled to try and keep myself in high spirits today - I konw I have done nothing but lie on the couch, but with getting up so often in the night I feel like I have to rest.  I really need to have a shower and wash my hair but I can think of nothing worse right now.  I even have to go and pick my husband up form work and I am dreading having to wait for him in case he gets out late as he often does, and I left in the car with no bathroom nearby.

I'm so sick of going to the toilet I feel like there is nothing left to come out - I might as well throw my food down the toilet for all the good its probably doing me.  Plus I have been having blood in my poo which the doctor is aware of, and I think I'm starting to look pale and I look awful.  I have some iron tablets that my dad is forcing me to take though so I'm hoping maybe that will make me feel a bit better.

I can also see there will be tears before bedtime today in this house - I want to go out for something to eat tonight to my favourite restaurant but I can't. sad


Keriamon
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 10/31/2005 7:51 AM (GMT -7)   
If Immodium stops you up too much, try switching to Pepto Bismal pills. Except for that bad stint I had back in the summer, I can't take more than 1/2 an Immodium without being severely constipated the next day. The Pepto pills have never made me constipated, although I might have to take more than one dose (1 dose = 2 pills) to get the diarrhea to stop. I lived on those when I was having gall bladder attacks.

As for doctors, man, I can sympathize. I went to see on in August for my daily diarrhea problem and the very first thing she wanted to do was a colonoscopy! I asked if she shouldn't do a stool sample first and see if I had a parasite or C. difficle from the antibiotics I had taken a month before and she said she'd do that during the colonoscopy. I don't think so! Put me through an invasive, expensive test when you could start with something easier on me and cheaper on my insurance company? Not only did I not end up doing it, I found out about calcium through this forum and have been fine since then. Not like I was before the gall bladder went bad, but I don't hurt anymore and I don't have diarrhea daily. Some days I poop everytime I go to the bathroom to pee, but I can live with that because it doesn't hurt, doesn't burn and isn't ruling my life anymore. I now have a deep suspicion of doctors and don't trust them very much to know what they're talking about. After all, my gall bladder disease went undiagnosed for 5 years--I was told it was IBS and there was nothing to be done about it. There's always SOMETHING that can be done about it, we just have to figure out WHAT. Since doctors don't seem to have the time or the inclination to find out for us, it's up to us to keep passing along information to each other in the hopes that something works for some people.

7Lil
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 3269
   Posted 10/31/2005 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   
When taking Pepto be prepared for the black poo.... this is normal.
Or if you want to keep taking Immodium maybe try cutting the dose in half (I cut it in quarters and it usually works for the day).
Co-Moderator for the IBS Forum
 
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