Worst day so far..

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Evie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 10/30/2005 6:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Ok so today is probably the worst day I've had so far. 
 
I've been waking up twice a night still, but last nght there wa less urgency than there has been before so I was grateful I had a few more seconds to wake up before I had to get up.  But the pain has been unbearable.  If I didn't konw better I saw I was starting with labour (not that I know what that is like!)
 
It started last night just before I got in bed.  The cramps were so strong it reduced me to tears because I was so fed up and I couldnt make it stop.  I went straight to bed to lie down, and woke up a couple of times in the night.  This morning I had a few sips of water and the cramping started again.  My husband had to go to work, so I was in the bathroom a few more times after he went.  I managd to get back in bed and fall asleep for a couple of hours, but when I woke up (quite late, about 12.50pm) I felt awful, and to be honest I felt a bit confused.  I got up and had a shower, but I felt like I didn't know what I was going to do next.  I feel drained, exhausted, and thought of doing anything at all makes me feel dizzy.
 
I'm supposed to be making a nice roast dinner for my husband for when he gets home from work and the thought of it terrifies me.  I realise this must sound totally ridiculous, and when I think about it I realise it is, but I can't help it.  I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up until I knew I was going to feel better.
 
I have been starving hungry all morning, and the only thing I've been able to eat is  a little pot of Blackcurrant Jelly and half a glass of water.  I look in the fridge at all the delicious things I could eat and I could cry because I know if I eat them I will just be in agony for the rest of the day.  I'm sorry to sound so emotional, but this has been the worst day ever for me and I never knew it could have so much of an effect on me.

dbab
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 4151
   Posted 10/30/2005 9:11 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry you are going through this Evie... I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better... this just breaks my heart, and especially how its affecting you psychologically.

Have you heard any more from the doctor? Are they going to run some more tests? I really think that you need to talk to him and explain that you are putting your life on hold because you just can't function anymore. Tell him all the things you are saying here. If he is any kind of doctor, he will do something.

(((HUGS TO YOU EVIE)))
Hugs, Des
Co-Moderator ~ IBS Forum
 
"Sometimes I'm afraid, and I don't feel that tough...But I'll stand back up" - Sugarland
 
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Evie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 10/30/2005 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you so much dbab.  I'm going to the doctor on tuesday and they are finally doing blood tests, but the wait is just killing me.  I've decided that unless I feel magically wonderful this evening then I'm not going into work tomorrow.  I can't face sitting there putting on a brave face pretending that everything is ok when it's not.

I just wanted to say though that if it wasn't for me being able to post on here and have people understand what I'm going through I don't konw what I would do.  I found this place at just the right time, and I am so grateful to everyone.  In the short time that I have been here, I have found more information and been given so many ideas than all the times I have ever been to see the doctor.

I have been taking my probiotics and I think they may be making a difference,  Apart from this morning before I had one, I have only been to the bathroom once.  I have had pains but I'm thankful that I haven't had to run off every hour or so.  I'm going to spend tomorrow just resting again, and I have decided that at some point I am going to go for a walk, just to the end of the road and back, but I think the fresh air will be good and it gives me something to feel good about if I can get there and back without having a problem.  It's not really far, but it's far enough from home for me at the moment without being able to jump in the car and zoom back home.


bunnybabe
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 10/30/2005 2:31 PM (GMT -7)   
oh, girl i hope you do feel some relief soon!
make sure you like your doctor!! (i have found out the hard way that he really doesn't care about me!!--i am changing doctors)
and keep with the probiotics, today i feel like a normal person (i think mine have kicked in!!!) and remember it was me the other day who was so hopeless--see another new day, another chance for relief!!!

i understand how you feel, i do wish you the best, one day at a time!!

and i too, cry when i look at some food--lately though our kitchen looks like a health food shop!!! but when i see a commercial for fried chicken--well it sucks...

for the pain: i found that a hot shower (i think a bath would be better but i have no tub) or a heating pad or a loving puppy in your lap has made me feel better... and about that fancy roast you have to make-- screw that!!! you don't feel good!!! take it easy!!! (unless you find cooking theraputic, which i do...) it cracks me up what women will do when they are sick, but men--forget it!! i can't get mine to put the laundry away when he is healthy!!!
***i apologize to all the men out there who do chores on the first request....

take care evie, tomorrow is a new day!
--bunny
what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?


Evie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 10/30/2005 3:16 PM (GMT -7)   

You really made me laugh then bunny!  You're right - (and no offence meant to the men on here!), but even though I have been really ill Ihave been doing the housework, the washing, making dinner, and I even did all the washing up and made hubby's lunch for tomorrow while he was fast asleep on the couch!  Now if it was the other way round, I think things would be a LITTLE bit different!

I managed to make the roast, even though I didnt each much of it.  Plus is spent much of my time to-ing and fro-ing between the bathroom and the living room.  I sometimes wonder what it would be like if tehre were cameras in our house and I oculd look back at them each night.  I start off doing something but then I find myself doing a little dance while I finish try and finish what Im doing before I rush off to the bathroom, or I'm rolling around in bed trying to get comfortable trying to read the papers, or running between the kitchen and the lviing room while I lay on the couch while the cramps do their thing.

Even though I have done nothing this weekend, I'm taking the day off tomorrow for sure and I'm going to try and have a positive day.  Doing little things hour by hour and not testing myself too much.

The one benefit of all t his is that I have stopped smoking.  I was trying to give up before I started with all this but now I have definitely given it the heave-ho.  One of the other downsides is tat I am sat with massive stretchy pants on pulled up to my ribs and I could easily pass for woman who is 5-6 months pregnant right now with the bloating!


Sarita
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2486
   Posted 10/30/2005 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   

Evie, I'm sorry you're still feeling so crappy.  It is imperative for you to get a colonoscopy very soon.  I know you're nervous about that because of your dad, but all of us on this forum have had these done at least once and have suffered no ill effects.  It's really the best way for them to see what's going on in there.  If they do diagnose you with inflammatory bowel disease, you will be able to start focused treatment for the condition. 

Your dizzy, lightheaded feeling is probably caused by dehydration.  Make sure that you are drinking a ton of liquids, no matter how much diarrhea you're having.  Sometimes you just have to force 'em down.  The drinks shouldn't be too sugary, though, as that tends to make diarrhea worse.  I like Gatorade diluted with water by half, herbal tea, lemon water...you really need to replace the fluids you're losing.

I hope your husband understands what you are going through and will cut you some slack if dinner ends up being take-out rather than a roast!  When you are finally diagnosed, you will have a wealth of information to share with him to make him better understand what's going on. 

Hang in there, girl.  You're going to see the doc on Tuesday, right?


bunnybabe
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 263
   Posted 10/30/2005 6:51 PM (GMT -7)   
i agree--stay hydrated and get the camera up the rear...

hey, i quit smoking through all this too! this time around it was actually pretty easy for me, i felt like i was full of poison and thought--duh--why put more in!!! so i have quit smoking and drinking (though i did have one riveting night with my sister in law and a bottle of gin---and did i ever pay for that!!!)

you sound a bit more upbeat.. that is good and do rest tomorrow and follow dr. sarita's orders!
(i like the gatorade propel, i dilute it also... they are on sale this week at Giant--but that doesn't help you in England... sorry dude...)

does Gas X work for your bloating? it helps me... (i take the store brand).
take care of yourself!!!
--bunny
what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?


Evie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 10/31/2005 10:33 AM (GMT -7)   

Ive been trying to make sure that i drink enough, particularly just after having been to the toilet.  It's not as easy as i thought trying to find something to drink that actually quenches my thirst and doesnt get boring!

I have found a lemon and lime cordial at the supermarket, and I make it with sparkling water and it's reeeeeally nice.

Got the doctors tommorow morning, so then we will have to see what happens after that.  I would welcome a colonoscopy - I know what happened to my dad, but it really doesnt bother me.  What bothers me more than anything is the way that he goes on at me.  He rung me up this afternoon saying how if the doctor wont do anything then he will go down there and he will have something to say blah blah blah.  It's been over 10 years since all this happened to my dad and there are probably a few different things available now that weren't then.  I understand he's worried, but he's forcing his anger onto me and it's getting too much.  I'm even getting to the point where I don't want to speak to him at the moment!!

I'll let you all know what the doctor says tomorrow!!


Sarita
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2486
   Posted 10/31/2005 11:47 AM (GMT -7)   

Evie, I also had some tiffs with my dad over my illness.  But that's because my dad is a radiologist and kind of a know-it-all.  He is over 70 years old and hasn't actually technically "practiced" medicine in over 25 years (he's in academic medicine now).  He's really a brilliant guy, and gives lectures all over the world, but he's really not up-to-date whatsoever on the diagnosis or treatment of disease.  He was trying to force me to get this or that radiological study done to attempt to diagnose my problem when my GI was recommending a whole different approach.  Then my dad told me that I could "probably will myself better" if I just tried hard enough.  It was so frustrating that I no longer give my dad updates.  If he asks, I'll give a generic "I'm doing fine" kind of answer, and once in a while remind him that I'm an adult and am taking care of myself in the way I see is appropriate for me.  It has taken many, many attempts to redirect him, but it's starting to work.

If your dad is really getting to you, you have to be able to say, "Listen dad...I appreciate your concern, and I know you're worried.  But I am educating myself and I need to approach this in a way that's right for me.  Please let me do what I need to do.  The best thing you can do for me is to just give your unconditional support no matter what I decide to do."

It's tough, but worth it.


softy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 798
   Posted 11/1/2005 8:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow Evie. I hope you get some answers soon. I know what the waiting game is like and to me it's torture.

Good luck tomorrow.
Take care, Softy
 


7Lil
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 3269
   Posted 11/1/2005 9:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Evie, how'd the appointment go today?
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