I totally sympathize, Bunny! No idea what "normal" is, although when I think longingly back to the days where I'd have nice, formed BMs twice or three times a day, that was probably normal. Now, a good day for me is up to 5 times. After 5, I call it mediocre; after 10, pretty miserable; after 15, really have to seriously start slammin' the Gatorade. When I reach 25-30 I'm usually off to the ER to get something to stop me up, as well as IV fluids. On my typical days, I get up in the morning, take my probiotics, fiber supplements, zinc, and fish oil capsules like a good girl. I don't really allow my body any time to "adjust" to being up; just go straight to work and have a small breakfast. Usually end up in the bathroom at least 3-4 times at that point and all my coworkers start making crap jokes (keeps me real).
Bunny, you definitely should not be taking Zelnorm. Whatever GI prescribed that for you is asinine. Have you had a lot of parasite testing done? I wish you could see my doctor up here! When I send off my parasite studies to the guru, I will share the results with all of you and maybe you'll think it's worth it to get that testing done for yourself.
The Lomotil might be a good idea for you. I used to take it twice a day and didn't notice a big difference in the D, but it works wonders for some people. Try taking it for a week or so to see if that helps. Also, I'd be careful with the Zoloft - it tends to make diarrhea worse, from what I've gathered. I just tapered off it after being on it for 3 years (didn't start having my D problem until the last year of it, though, so I don't think it's related).
I'm sorry you're feeling so confused. It's hard to know what is normal and what isn't. I've adjusted somewhat to the fact that "normal" for me nowadays could be 5-15x/day and it's mostly unpredictable. Keeps us on our toes!