Hi Shel, Its really good to see you again. I also hope you had a nice Thanksgiving holiday :)
1. I have never heard that there is any evidence that supports IBS gets worse after you have children. Its possible that it could happen but I don't recall ever reading anything stating that and I research a lot. If anyone can find anything on this please let me know. Our bodies are so different and we all respond to things differently. A good example is IBS during pregnancy. I had hardly any problems whatsoever however some people get worse symptoms. I think that it might be a good idea to get a second opinion on this. Was this coming from a family doctor or GI specialist? You might want to see if you can get some more information. I did check on the American College of Gastroenterology website and did a search but I can't find anything on that. Please be sure that is correct and not just this doctor's opinion.
2. As far as doctors go, I don't think there are any doctors that would be called an IBS expert except for the researchers. Even though IBS has been acknowledged for quite some time, it was not understood nor did the doctors or researchers look deeply into it. IBS is getting a lot of attention in the GI world today and just recently has been looked at as a specific disorder with specific symptoms (not something that people classify you when you have something wrong and they can't figure it out). It is a disorder diagnosed through exclusion however that is because the symptoms are very similar to other things (ie IBD) but there are specific symptoms that you have when they diagnose you with IBS (under Rome II criteria). My suggestion would be to find a good GI specialist in your area.
3. I'm sorry that I can't help you too much with this one. I am just starting to look at holistic medicine as I have always been very conventional in my medications. Someone might be able to come along and give you some info.
I hope this kind of helps... all I can offer is my opinions on these things which I'm sure you will get more of. Take Care.