Can I just vent about something?
My roommate gave me an earful last night. She had been drinking a bit, which is never a good situation with her, and told me that she couldn't believe all the sick time I get from work and couldn't believe how often I go home sick. "I would never be able to get all that time off, and if I could, I wouldn't," she said. "I would feel way too guilty." She proceeded to tell me she thinks I'm a "bit of a hypochondriac" and that I am making myself sick because I am stressed. She thinks that the reason my guts are getting better is because I'm in love and if I had just been happier this year I wouldn't have had any problems. I'm relaying this information nearly verbatim.
She also went off about how poor she was growing up, how she can never see doctors because she is uninsured, how she hates going to them anyway, how could I possibly see so many doctors, etc.
My roommate is a waitress and a good friend of mine; like a sister. She can say certain things that other people would never get away with. But sometimes she pulls things out of her arse, things that are so outrageous I can't even imagine the source, and it drives me bonkers. I am a very relaxed person but she pushes my buttons like no one else! It was really hurtful.
The tricky thing is this: she is getting on her feet after being sporadically employed for a few months now, and has paid about $400 in rent over the past four months (my rent is $800). I think she feels really insecure about this even though I tell her I know she is doing the best she can, working two jobs. Honestly, I could care less about her paying rent as long as she doesn't leave the place a pigsty. But somehow it seems like she feels indebted and maybe resentful about it? Is that why she's being nasty?
We hashed it out and made up, but I'm still feeling wounded.
Gads. At least Adam is house-sitting for the next week or so and I'll be spending most of my time with him!
Oh Sarita, I know how this one feels. My mom also deeply hurt my feelings with her "it's anxiety" crap and "if you'd just think positive". No kidding I'm anxious as the drs. can't figure it out. And positive, let's not even go there...lol.
Wow, I really think you're powerful being able to spurt out of your bum, can't believe you'd rather do that than live a normal life. (sarcasm very much intended) I really think that sometimes when others haven't been through anything close to this that they can't understand it or they are scared for us and don't know how to say it nicely. Glad you made up with her though, it's not worth losing a friend over.
Hope you have a great time with Adam girl. Enjoy every minute
Hey girls! Thanks for checking in...gosh I haven't been here in a while! You peeps have been busy...everyone have some rockin' holidays? Lots of intense food? Freakish bathroom visits? I can't even imagine. I've got to catch up on these posts and see what you've been up to.
Things are going great on the Adam front, he and I are like two peas in a pod. I can't believe how amazingly it's working out. It's about time for something to work out like this! I feel like spontaneously combusting. Sorry to gush. It is pretty disgusting I'm sure.
The roommate front is a rollercoaster as always, but she's past her "get-smashed-for-Christmas" phase (that saga lasted for several days) so it's much easier to be around her.
My stomach is still on the mend...had a couple of garden hose days lately, but still no ER visits, no major pain episodes. Despite eating a bunch of crap lately (mmm, latkes and sour cream for Hanukkah!), I've been tolerating it all pretty well. Maybe love IS curing me. Whatever it is...let's keep it coming.