You will all be pleased to know that I got up my nerve to go to my Family doctor today and requested a full line of blood work testing, urine testing, full gynocological testing and a colonoscopy.
For those who don't know, along with my IBS, I am a full-blown hypochondriac,have an extremely high level of anxiety, lots of stress in my life right now and also with a VERY severe phobia of doctors, hospitals, nurses, clinics, etc. The only thing I can let them do is take my temperature and for some reason I don't mind at all if they draw my blood.
I have an enornous overwhelming phobia of blood pressure machines, (for which I am intherapy for) even the manual types. When I go to the doctor or even my psych or therapist I have to take what I call my "vomit kit." I call it that because anytime I am exposed to any of the above I am prone more than likely to vomit. My "kit" consists of one outer plastic bag with a change of underpants and slacks (when I vomit I urinate on myself) and also contains two plastic sacks, one inside the other in case I have to throw up on the way there. The first thing I do when I walk in the door is ask if they could please set a lined waste basket beside me because I am probably going to vomit.
Wow, am I rambling on, or what? Sounds like this post needs to be posted on the Anxiety/Panic forum.
Some of you have been emailing privately back and forth with me and know a lot more about what is going on in my life right now than what I have been sharing here so I just wanted to let them know that I got VERY brave today.
Now I have to wait for the approval letter from the insurance for the colonoscopy, which takes about a week. Then I have to call the referred doctor and set up an appointment. So depending on how busy he/she is I might have to wait another week or so before I can actually get the test done. That could be 2-3 weeks of waiting and for an anxiety-filled hypochondriac, such as myself, that is a LONG, LONG time. I am sure my IBS will wreak havoc on my body until this is all over.
Please send out good vibes, good thoughts or prayers (which ever you do) for me. I would greatly appreciate it.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said, "That cannot be true. You haven't met everyone yet!"