I had to nip my mother in the bud with our wedding because she was trying to micromanage it. Luckily we were planning a medieval wedding, so she was out of her depth for most things, but she kept trying to sneek in modern wedding stuff, like cakes and fancy place settings and flowers--stuff I wasn't willing to waste my money on. Stuart said family members got to have an opinion about our wedding in direct proportion to the amount of money they contributed to it. Which means no one got to have any opinion because no one gave us any money for it.
I will say this about your wedding; nothing matters except the vows. I spent my entire wedding day feeling like I was hearding cats. You'd think no one had ever been to a wedding before. After the wedding all our family ran into the hall before I could get any pictures taken, people kept coming up to me during the day while I was in the middle of doing something outside to hand me a card, like I had pockets in my wedding dress (which is why, two months later, we just found three cards with money in them), people came in late who were supposed to be there early to help set-up, people started leavin en-masse before dinner was finished, etc., etc., etc. Spend your money on a wedding coordinator who will keep your suddenly dumb***, bumbling, backwoods, bumpkin family members away from you (trust me, even family members who are nuclear engineers will suddenly start asking you three thousand stupid, inane questions, like, "where do you want the napkin?"--and when you reply "anywhere's fine", they will insist on showing you all the places they can put it and insist that you choose a position right now, and then the routine starts over with each piece of flatware, glasses, plates, bowls, etc.), and do everything else on the cheap. Because, even with a referee, you'll still be pulled so many directions, you'll miss enjoying all of it, so why waste the money? I think mothers try to run their daughter's weddings because they didn't get to enjoy their own wedding the first time around. Mothers do all the planning, then sit back and look at the results, while the bride is swarmed by people like vultures on a carcass which obscure her view of everything. LOL.