I had an office visit with my nephrologists yesterday and he is very angry with me because I won’t start dialysis. I’ve been going to him for years and years and I never saw him get angry. Even his assistant saw it. She said he’s not angry with me, he’s just frustrated because he doesn’t want me to get sick. I felt so bad when I left that I felt like turning around and telling him I’ll do it. But then a little voice in me told me to not do it.
I’m getting more symptoms but I still don’t feel I need to start yet. I’m getting more and more forgetful and that really bothers me. I’m so confused right now. I know the “correct” thing is to start, but I just can’t. I was pretty sick a week ago and was ready to call the doctor but after a few days I felt better. As much as I think I can handle this, I’m really starting to believe I’m in denial because I still think I’m well enough to get by and I feel like it “won’t happen” to me. (meaning getting really sick). But on the other hand, I know I will have to do it some day.
Has anyone ever held out starting when their doctor recommended it? I trust my doctor and of course he keeps telling me all the bad things that can happen but like I said, I really don’t think that will happen to me. If you held out, did you regret it? Do you think that waiting until you “felt” you were ready was a good decision?
Any advice is appreciated!