My mom has liver disease and kidney failure and I need support/help with coping.

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/26/2009 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Everyone,

My name is Megan and I'm 18 years old. I'm new to this forum and I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right place, but I've gotten to the point that I need to hear from someone other than my family. My mom is in the final stages of liver disease and kidney failure. She has been an alcoholic and drug addict for over 30 years and it finally started taking its toll two years ago. It started with a seizure and a year later her skin turned black from internal bleeding. Over the past 4 months she has been in the hospital 5 times and was just readmitted today. Her blood work shows that her platelets are nearly nonexistent, her ammonia levels are too low, sodium too high, basically everything is wrong. Along with these issues she has ascites and there is so much fluid that she has a hard time breathing and walking. Normally they would remove it with a shunt but she is anemic and they are afraid she will hemorrhage. The hospital visits are getting closer together and she stays longer each time.
I'm not in need of medical advice, I know what the outcome is at this point, I just want to maybe hear from people in the same situation. I'm a freshman in college and live with my grandparents who have their own medical issues so I have taken this burden on completely alone. It has taken such an emotional toll on me I feel completely numb most of the time. People try to help, but it gets overwhelming to have so many people asking about it all the time. Everyone says I should spend time with my mom, who is only 50 by the way, but I cant bring myself to spend time with someone who made my childhood hell with her habits.
Any advice, stories, or anything will help at this point. Thanks guys.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1469
   Posted 12/26/2009 3:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Meg! Welcome to the kidney Forum of Healing well. I am sorry to read of the issues you have had to deal with. I wish I had some good advice from you but I will say I understand where you are coming from with spending time with your mom. I was adopted whenI was in 2nd grade because my bilogical mom was a drug addict and my adopted parents verbally, mentally, and physically abused me until I moved out at 15. All I can say is listen to your heart. Do what it tells you to. My dads health is getting worse and worse and I ask myself what I will do when his health gets really bad. I am like you, I don't know if I can "reface" the past. I know everytime we have a visit all the bad memories flood my mind no matter what I do to blok them out. People tell me I need to be there for him but it is so hard. I know this probably didnt help much but I will pray that you find the answers you are looking for.

Pink Grandma
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 2445
   Posted 12/26/2009 10:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Megs18 and  welcome to HealingWell.   I am Pink Grandma one of the moderators on the Hepatitis forum. It's actually a forum for any of the liver diseases. ( It's why I noticed your post.)  
I am so sorry about your mom.  I know that you are in a tough position.  We have members who are now or have been in your shoes so we understand what you are going through in regards to the liver disease part.  If you like you can come and read some of the posts , we also have an liver disease educational thread in our resource folder.  And if you have any questions you are more than welcome to post there as well as here.    
Take care.......thoughts and prayers....

Pink Grandma
Forum moderator-Hepatitis

When the going gets tough....the tough get going! Don't always know where I going but I get there anyways.

Post Edited (Pink Grandma) : 12/26/2009 8:39:04 PM (GMT-7)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 12/28/2009 11:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to our forums.  You will find out there is so much support on these boards that you will have someone to vent with at anytime.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with so much.  Any illness in the family can be emotionally and physically draining.  But ALWAYS remember you come first.  Take care of yourself while you have all these burdens.
Come see us anytime.  We are always here.  There are so many forums you can visit and creat a wonderful support system.
Kidney Diseases and Disorders
39 yr young female with,
Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension, Urological RSD

Also CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) and Sleep Apnea

Hopefully NO MORE........

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/28/2009 2:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks so much everyone, it really helps to know there are other people out there dealing with the same thing. Now that the holidays are over it is much less stressful and I've been able to focus on my own well-being again. I hope you all had a great holiday as well.

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/1/2010 11:02 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Megan,

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation.  I am going through a similar situation with my dad.  It really sucks watching someone go through that kind of pain, but I think it is even harder when your feelings for them aren't all good.  I have no idea what the answer is but I think at this point you have to worry about yourself.  When my dad dies I want to be ok with the way I treated him in the final months.  I'm not sure it is worth trying to fix things at this point because he is so wrapped up in himself, as usual.  Hang in there.

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