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applesk82
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 2/28/2008 9:59 AM (GMT -7)   
hello everyone,
 
it's official, i hate my life!  not only do we have to worry about flaring and everything else under the sun but now i have a stomach virus that is causing me a lot of pain and pushing fluids to help flush it away is causing more pain because it hurts whenever i eat or drink anything. and i couldnt go to work today and i left early yesterday because my pcp was able to squeeze me in.  and for me that is a problem.  i am an adult with a job, and i have responsiblities for that job and not being able to go to work is, for me, not responsible.  but my doc said to stay home and rest and i didnt want to risk getting anyone sick, but there is no one else to do my responsiblities.  i hate being sick, and sometimes i'm sick of being around. and i think my therapist is starting to worry about me, cuz she know that i keep a lot of stuff bottled up inside and i dont tell my family when i am depressed or feeling down, cuz i know that all they will do is worry and that is the last thing i want for them.  she recommended that i see a psychatrist and have her fix my anti-depressant.  i'm just not sure what to do anymore. any advise would be greatly appreciated. 
Hugs and prayers,                      If it was easy being a lupie, 
   ~Suzanne~                                      the whole world would be one     
                                                             
diagnosed in May '95 with lupus nephritis, hypertension, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis (knee) '98, kidney transplant April '06, pseudo-cerebral tumor '07, AVN ankles and hips '07
prednisone, cellcept, prograf, lopressor, allopurinol, synthroid, diamox, OsCal +D, lunesta, celexa, percocet for pain


Harmony
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 2/28/2008 11:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Suzanne
I'm sorry to hear about your virus. When we have to deal with lupus and all the stuff that goes with it, it seems like we should get a break on catching anything else. It's extremely frustrating. Someone gave me a gift of a teddy bear wearing a T-shirt that says "Lupus Sucks." I couldn't agree more. Just remember that the virus will pass, and you will get back to work. I read someone once said "The more I fight my lupus, the more it beats me." It's hard not to fight it when it's so frustrating though. I hope you can get some rest and are feeling better soon.
((((((Suzanne))))))

Audrey Ann
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 815
   Posted 2/28/2008 3:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Suzzanne!

I am so sorry to hear you do not feel well. I can relate about not being able to go to work. I have a position where if I am not here the work does not get done. I feel like I let everyone down if I can't make it to work or if I have to leave early. Unfortunately we take so many meds that make us prone to catch everything we are like a walking target for germs! It's crummy, to say the least!

Please listen to your therapist about getting your antid's reworked. You might need a different type of med now. I think this might make you feel a little better. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Prayers,
Audrey Ann
 
Lupus and RA and LOTS of Medications!
 


 


MJLD
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 2/28/2008 10:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Suzanne,
I know where you're at sister. Take you therapist advice. Get your med adjusted if that's what you need. Don't let your thought life get out of control! I've been down that road trying to spare my family/friends. The thing is they noticed the change and were worried anyway. They will probably be glad you trust them enough to vent and allow them to support you. Keep the faith girl. This too shall pass. You are in my prayers. God Bless you, Judy

Harmony
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 2/29/2008 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Suzanne,
I've been thinking about you and hoping you are feeling better today. Were you able to get any sleep? Were you able to eat? I know it's hard to think about yourself when you are worried about your job -- I used to be a workaholic and in fact worked two jobs before I was forced to cut back and take a job I could do from home (and now can't do that). I think I really did a lot of damage to myself trying to work so much though. I've been where you are now and I know putting yourself first seems incomprehensible when you are so driven to work hard, but please take care of yourself! I think this is the perfect time to get support from your family as well. If another member of your family was going through this, wouldn't you want to help? Please let them help you, and continue to write to the forum too.

(((((((Suzanne)))))))

applesk82
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 2/29/2008 4:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you guys,

I am feeling a bit better today, as long as i dont eat solid food. Clear fluids are the only thing that doesnt make my stomach spasm out, so water and 7up (for nausea) is all i have had.
Hugs and prayers,                      If it was easy being a lupie, 
   ~Suzanne~                                      the whole world would be one     
                                                             
diagnosed in May '95 with lupus nephritis, hypertension, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis (knee) '98, kidney transplant April '06, pseudo-cerebral tumor '07, AVN ankles and hips '07
prednisone, cellcept, prograf, lopressor, allopurinol, synthroid, diamox, OsCal +D, lunesta, celexa, percocet for pain


AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 3/1/2008 7:29 PM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((( Suzanne ))))))))))))))

I didn't read the other responses and I hope you are starting to feel better, but wanted to comment on the anti-d. Do spend the energy to look into this. It can make a world of difference. and finding the right one is a process well worth the effort.

You've already done the hard part by reaching out!! Suzanne . . . I bet there are people reading who are not able to post who will be helped by your post.

Keep us posted on how you are feeling and about having your depression treated. Take care sis!!

Blessings!

In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum

UCTD, Hashimotos, Inflammatory Bowel, Inflammatory Arthritis

Clickable Links:  Lupus Resources    Lupous.Org   Lupus Criteria (4 of 11)   Lupus Chapter Locator


applesk82
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 3/1/2008 7:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone,

I am happy to post that i am feeling better and i pretty sure that the stomach virus is gone and i have been able to eat. I am feeling alot better (physically) i have not had any stomach spasms since yesterday, my stomach is just a bit sore from tensing up everytime i had a spasm. As for the antidepressants i am making an appointment with my pcp to get a referral so that i can talk to the psychiatrist that my psychologist recommended. And Rosie, this is why i love this forum, because not only can i get advice, support, or just kind words, but hopely seeing that we are willing to open up to each other will hopefully inspire those who are not as willing or will read our post and know that they are not alone, and even if they dont tell us what's wrong hopefully we offer them a way to get help for themselves. thanks you guys.
Hugs and prayers,                      If it was easy being a lupie, 
   ~Suzanne~                                      the whole world would be one     
                                                             
diagnosed in May '95 with lupus nephritis, hypertension, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis (knee) '98, kidney transplant April '06, pseudo-cerebral tumor '07, AVN ankles and hips '07
prednisone, cellcept, prograf, lopressor, allopurinol, synthroid, diamox, OsCal +D, lunesta, celexa, percocet for pain


Barbara Lee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2003
Total Posts : 2889
   Posted 3/1/2008 10:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Suzanne:

Just wanted to pass on my well wishes to you. Glad to hear that the stomach virus is gone now. Sounds like you've got things straightened out for you. Good luck with the new anti depressants hope the work for you. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Take care,
Barbara
dx fibro, SLE, glaucoma, cateracts, bells palsy, depression, migraine headaches, gastreopaersis, chronic anemia, RA,MDS (Blood Cancer). Tons of meds.


suetoo
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 395
   Posted 3/4/2008 9:06 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi! Everyone,

You know, that bear is right! Lupus sucks, and it is ok to be depressed, and sick and tired, and sick and tired of being sick and tired. Hey, do you think all that would fit on a t-shirt?? eyes

suetoo tongue


God knows, even if I don't....
CNS Lupus 2005, APS
Meds: Plaquenil, Neurontin, Thyroid, Voltaren, Aspirin, Atenolol and Norvasc, Prednisone prn.


applesk82
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 3/4/2008 8:13 PM (GMT -7)   
"sick and tired of being sick and tired" i absolutely think that would fit on a t-shirt. :) fortunately depression can be helped with meds and you can even get rid of it, unforunately the same does not go for lupus. that's why i love that i have my own lupus family to support me when my genetic family falls a little short. love you all.
Hugs and prayers,                      If it was easy being a lupie, 
   ~Suzanne~                                      the whole world would be one     
                                                             
diagnosed in May '95 with lupus nephritis, hypertension, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis (knee) '98, kidney transplant April '06, pseudo-cerebral tumor '07, AVN ankles and hips '07
prednisone, cellcept, prograf, lopressor, allopurinol, synthroid, diamox, OsCal +D, lunesta, celexa, percocet for pain


MJLD
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 3/4/2008 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Suzanne,
I am so thankful you are feeling better. I've often wondered if it would benefit me to talk to a counselor about this lupus experience. The main reason is because sometimes I feel like lupus has "consumed" me and I talk about it too much to fam and friends; and maybe if I could talk it out to an "outsider" I wouldn't feel the need to talk about it so much to my fam/friends? You know what I mean? I was so determined not to let this become my life; but it is what it is! What do you think? Judy

applesk82
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 3/5/2008 6:56 AM (GMT -7)   
actually judy that is exactly how i felt. i didnt want lupus to dominate me but to tell you the truth a lot of times it does. and i especially didnt want to speak to a stranger about my personal problems. i am a very private person. but my therapist was great, she never pushed she waited until i was really to talk about what was really going on in my head. it took about 3 sessions of me seeing her before i talked about the very important stuff, and when i did, she didnt judge, she didnt pity, she didnt make that noise of concern that everyone else does, she just helped me try to figure why i felt like we dissected the problem and what i was feeling. seeing a therapist is great because it gives you that chance to talk talk and talk some about you and your problems without the worry of someone judging you or interrupting to tell you a story about them, no the hour is about you and your problems only and i think that helps. we are women with many different stresses and responsiblities and sometimes we dont get a chance for us, so that hour is great because the therapist is there for you to listen to you and plus you can stop going whenever you want and if you dont like the first person you go to keep searching til you find someone that you are comfortable with dont settle.
Hugs and prayers,                      If it was easy being a lupie, 
   ~Suzanne~                                      the whole world would be one     
                                                             
diagnosed in May '95 with lupus nephritis, hypertension, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis (knee) '98, kidney transplant April '06, pseudo-cerebral tumor '07, AVN ankles and hips '07
prednisone, cellcept, prograf, lopressor, allopurinol, synthroid, diamox, OsCal +D, lunesta, celexa, percocet for pain


Harmony
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 3/5/2008 10:15 AM (GMT -7)   
I totally agree. It's worth being patient to find the right therapist for you. Sometimes it takes awhile, but once you find the right one, it is all worth it. Same goes for the antidepressants. It can sometimes take awhile to find the right one. It's hard when your energy is limited it, but these two things will make a huge difference in your life.

I have joked with my husband that I need two T-shirts for my moods: I need one of those "Life is Good" T-shirts for when I'm coping and another that says "Lupus is Kicking my Butt" for those not so hot days. LOL :)

MJLD
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 3/5/2008 11:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm really thinking about finding a therapist. I am on an antidepressant and that has helped. I really used to have this "thing" about getting on anti d's and talking to therapist. I have always felt I just needed to pull myself up by the boot straps and get over it! Like it was a sign of weakness or something. I guess i'm ready to admit i'm weak!! I really think I feel traumatized by all the changes lupus has brought about, there's no better word for me to describe it. I need some help to put everything in perspective. HW has been a big help. Sometimes I just wish we could all sit down face to (moon) face! :) Thanx 4 listening, Judy

applesk82
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 3/5/2008 3:49 PM (GMT -7)   
judy i felt the same way about anti-depressants and therapists, its like if you cave and give in and finally go to one and start taking more meds that the lupus has won, that in some way you failed, and not only yourself but your family and friends who think that you are so strong about being sick. and am the type that hates to show my weak side but for me, therapy and the anti-d has changed my outlook. i dont look at it as failing or showing weakness, but as another way i can cope with all my medical problems, instead of always running to family and/or friends when you have another bad setback you have your therapist to not only listen but to help teach you how to cope with it. Judy you and i are alot alike and i know exactly how you are feeling on the subject but take the leap and find a therapist, remember if you dont like how its working or you dont like the person it is ALWAYS ok to stop the sessions or find a new therapist.  good luck, you are in my thoughts.
 
 
And I like the idea of two mood t-shirts, but i think mine would have to be like baseball caps, one with a yellow smiley face and one with a red mad face tongue
Hugs and prayers,                      If it was easy being a lupie, 
   ~Suzanne~                                      the whole world would be one     
                                                             
diagnosed in May '95 with lupus nephritis, hypertension, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis (knee) '98, kidney transplant April '06, pseudo-cerebral tumor '07, AVN ankles and hips '07
prednisone, cellcept, prograf, lopressor, allopurinol, synthroid, diamox, OsCal +D, lunesta, celexa, percocet for pain


MJLD
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 3/5/2008 6:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanx Suzanne for the encouragement I really appreciate talking to someone who knows where i'm coming from. Can I ask you a personal question? It's ok if you don't want to answer. Are you a christian and did that have any influence on how you felt about talking to a therapist? Judy

applesk82
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 3/5/2008 7:13 PM (GMT -7)   
well i'm catholic, and they have always encouraged us to talk to priests and others when we need guidance or just need to speak with someone, and when you do go to your church to talk to someone they dont bill you for it either, that is one of the reasons why they are there and are always around whether there is mass or not. i thought about going to talk to a priest but this was more emotional than spiritual.


Hugs and prayers,                      If it was easy being a lupie, 
   ~Suzanne~                                      the whole world would be one     
                                                             
diagnosed in May '95 with lupus nephritis, hypertension, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis (knee) '98, kidney transplant April '06, pseudo-cerebral tumor '07, AVN ankles and hips '07
prednisone, cellcept, prograf, lopressor, allopurinol, synthroid, diamox, OsCal +D, lunesta, celexa, percocet for pain


MJLD
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 3/6/2008 9:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Suzanne,
Thanx so much for sharing so freely. I really appreciate it. Judy

applesk82
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 3/7/2008 6:43 AM (GMT -7)   
anytime, judy, and of course anyone else, i really enjoy being apart of healingwell and people are always helping me and i feel good when i get a chance to help someone out.
Hugs and prayers,                      If it was easy being a lupie, 
   ~Suzanne~                                      the whole world would be one     
                                                             
diagnosed in May '95 with lupus nephritis, hypertension, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis (knee) '98, kidney transplant April '06, pseudo-cerebral tumor '07, AVN ankles and hips '07
prednisone, cellcept, prograf, lopressor, allopurinol, synthroid, diamox, OsCal +D, lunesta, celexa, percocet for pain


suetoo
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 395
   Posted 3/7/2008 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi! Everyone,

I have tried to explain to my PCP that with lupus, am I depressed because I am tired??? Or tired because I am depressed??? I sometimes tell people on the street I have lupus, like when I use my parking tag and get a dirty look. And I have a lupus magnet on my car. Taking Zoloft then Paxil didn't really help at all. But I really think my rheumy got it when I asked him the same question. He basically said........ that's lupus. But you share what you are comfortable with. My born again faith in God is very helpful, but as a nurse, I wouldn't hesitate to find a therapist if I thought I should. Hey, what I wish is that we could have a global lupus postee meet and greet, at a central location like Disney World, or a ranch spa, where we could get together and just vegetate and see each other, on a beach, (Yeah, yeah, in the shade), or at a spa, or on a canal in Venice, or at ____________, (fill in the blank), courtesy of some wealthy sponsor, or foundation, or lottery winner, or Bill Gates, or Steven King, (with money he earned from the bestseller he wrote about the loopie who________, when___________( tongue fill in the blanks)!

P.S. I am so sick and tired of snow, too. Somewhere warm. I am so sick and tired of being cold, too.  I love NY! mad

P.P.S. And it is true, taxes in NY are killing families, and business.


God knows, even if I don't....
CNS Lupus 2005, APS
Meds: Plaquenil, Neurontin, Thyroid, Voltaren, Aspirin, Atenolol and Norvasc, Prednisone prn.


applesk82
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 3/7/2008 2:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sue,

Sorry about your PCP, some docs just dont get it. As for having to explain yourself to strangers, don't! It is none of their business why you have a handicap parking tag and if the docs say you need that is all you need. If they look at in a strange way just stare back or ignore them completely. As firmly believe its no ones business but my own why i do the things i do (legally of course :) ) and your PCP doesnt have to understand why you need a referral to a therapist, all they need to know is that you need one. Sorry if this sounds harsh, i dont mean it sound that way, but it irks me when i know one of our own has trouble because people are smallminded or uninformed. Just be you, and dont apologize for it. much love
Hugs and prayers,                      If it was easy being a lupie, 
   ~Suzanne~                                      the whole world would be one     
                                                             
diagnosed in May '95 with lupus nephritis, hypertension, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis (knee) '98, kidney transplant April '06, pseudo-cerebral tumor '07, AVN ankles and hips '07
prednisone, cellcept, prograf, lopressor, allopurinol, synthroid, diamox, OsCal +D, lunesta, celexa, percocet for pain


MJLD
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 3/7/2008 8:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm a nurse too. Are you a nurse Suzanne? How do you guys being a nurse affects your actions and attitudes dealing with this whole disease process? I think it definitely has pros and cons!! Judy

applesk82
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2003
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 3/7/2008 8:50 PM (GMT -7)   
no, i was actually a medical assistant before my transplant, now i am an administrative assistant for a non-profit organization that helps at risk youth. with my hip, knee, and ankles i cant stand on my feet for more than about 10 minutes at a time so nursing, medical assisting, or being a doctor (which i always wanted to be until i got to college and had lots and lots of problems with stress) is not really possible. but when i was a medical assistant i worked for an oncologist and the experience was very humbling at times. I say patients that could hardly walk or eat and some so sick that the doctor and i would do home visits. i knew in some ways i was lucky, and in some ways not so much, but i was able to relate to the patients and they felt my empathy rather than just sympathy.
Hugs and prayers,                      If it was easy being a lupie, 
   ~Suzanne~                                      the whole world would be one     
                                                             
diagnosed in May '95 with lupus nephritis, hypertension, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis (knee) '98, kidney transplant April '06, pseudo-cerebral tumor '07, AVN ankles and hips '07
prednisone, cellcept, prograf, lopressor, allopurinol, synthroid, diamox, OsCal +D, lunesta, celexa, percocet for pain

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