Off topic - a bit, very down

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Ann Ireland
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 5/31/2008 12:04 PM (GMT -7)   
A magnificent new chihuahua joined me in my home today making my 'family' complete.
I had to walk Ana first at 6am and then friend drove me to the station and went on train to Limerick, which took over two hours, then I had to wait over one and half hours for the owner to arrive with Maggie Mai.
And then back to Dublin on train.
I felt absolutely ghastly, really ghastly.
My eyes were agony, really agony, no matter how often I doused them with natural tears.
they are a bit better here now at home.
Just as I got into the station in Dublin, even with a fantastic new dog to love, I felt like bursting into tears. I felt brutal depressed, I still cant get over how sick I am and I am truly frightened.
Will I ever feel that life is worth living?
Will I continually think of dying?
Will I be this depressed now until I do die? It just doesnt seem to lift.
Its really insidious. I feel it all over my body, if you know what I mean.
I now have two gorgeous dogs and they will be LOVED, but I as a human feel so unloved. I think if I did then I could bear some of this personal hell I am in.
xxAnn sad
oh cheryl, marji and ginny pics gone your way!
Ann Ireland

Congenital Rubella Syndrome (CRS) Severely Deaf, Pes Cavus, scoliolis, Hiatus hernia, diverticular disease, neuromuscular disorder, movement disorder, recently dxed as drug induced 2008 Crohns Disease 1996,Hypothyroidism 1998, Raynauds 2006, Sjogrens 2008, Lupus 2008, Chronic Muscle Myopaythy 2008, spine in very, very bad way dx 2008
Irish, not an illness!

100mcg tyroxine, 10mg Cipramil, 3mg Entocort, 30mg Tamazipam, mystatin, sudocream, neurontin 600mg, acidopolis, Vitamin B complex, Coenzyme Q10, Vitamin B12 injection, Nexium 40mg, Fortijuice.


jhmom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2244
   Posted 5/31/2008 5:28 PM (GMT -7)   
(((( Ann ))))) I too have a chihuahua, his name is Tater! I know you feel terrible, hang in there and allow some time for your meds to kick in. Just take it day by day and don't dwell on negative things, Have fun with your new pup, give him/her lots of love!!!!
Stacie

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding ~ Proverbs 3:5 ~

DX: Hashimoto's, Celiac Disease, Raynaud's, Lupus and Sjogrens
RX: Imuran, Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Flexeril, Piroxicam, Levoxyl, Folic Acid, Lortab (as needed) and magic mouthwash (for mouth sores)


NanaBee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 533
   Posted 5/31/2008 9:41 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Ann,

Your new little one sounds cute.  I like her name Maggie Mai.  My chihuahua is named Princess and she sure acts like one.  She is the light of my life.  She sleeps with me all the time and I find a lot of comfort in that.  Her little body gives off just enough heat so that if my Raynauds is acting up she warms me up.

I am so sorry you are feeling so depressed.  It is a horrible feeling to have I know.  I started taking Cymbalta this year for pain and depression.  My doctor said I need to stay on it until I retire.  I'm only 50 so that may be awhile.  She said it will help me with the stress of being sick and the stress from my job.  I have to say that it has helped tremendously.  I still have days when I feel really depressed but I still get up and go.

Don't feel like you don't have friends.  We are all your friends here.  If you would like to email me personally I would be willing to email back and be email buddies.  I would love to hear about Ireland.  I am of Irish descent, my grandmother spoke a little Gaelic.  I have no idea what part of Ireland my family is from though. 
Anyway, take care of yourself and have fun with your new dog.  They are such good company and very loyal.

Hope you feel better,

Mary Ann tongue


 
** MCTD,Fibromyalgia,Raynaud's June 2005
**Sleep Apnea - February 2006
**Pulmonary stenosis, High blood pressure, IBS, degenerative disc disease, vertigo
**Meds:  Plaquenil, MTX, Lyrica, Folic Acid, Metoprolol, Lotrel, Vicodin
 "No matter what happens, God is in control.  He is God, I am not, what a relief!"


Ann Ireland
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 5/31/2008 11:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your kind responses.
I know I have alot of friends here, I really do and I am SO grateful for that.
My little maggie is doing just grand. Both my chi's are having a kind of 'sorting out thing' thing to do but they really are fab.
They BOTH slept in my bed last night one on either side of my body.
So, instead of one puddle to clear up in the morning I had two!
But chi's produce just little puddles!!!!
xxAnn
Any pics of pets I'd love to get, oh of yourselves too. my email address is there in profile. :-)
Ann Ireland

Congenital Rubella Syndrome (CRS) Severely Deaf, Pes Cavus, scoliolis, Hiatus hernia, diverticular disease, neuromuscular disorder, movement disorder, recently dxed as drug induced 2008 Crohns Disease 1996,Hypothyroidism 1998, Raynauds 2006, Sjogrens 2008, Lupus 2008, Chronic Muscle Myopaythy 2008, spine in very, very bad way dx 2008
Irish, not an illness!

100mcg tyroxine, 10mg Cipramil, 3mg Entocort, 30mg Tamazipam, mystatin, sudocream, neurontin 600mg, acidopolis, Vitamin B complex, Coenzyme Q10, Vitamin B12 injection, Nexium 40mg, Fortijuice.


redrose77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 2573
   Posted 6/1/2008 12:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Ann, you must know that your friends love you. I feel this is vital knowledge for you to get through this depression. You are loved, even if your family fails in that area your friends will not. My family only offers love with strings and conditions- which makes it not love at all but rather emotional blackmail. Yet, I know I am loved not just by my husband and children, but by my friends who are more family to me than those related by blood.
 
Oh yeah, as depression seems part and parcle of lupus I do not think your post is off topic. I am up feeding Alexander and wanted to make sure you were doing okay. Obviously the nudge my subconscious gave me to check and see if you had posted lately was on the mark.


Dx:fibromyalgia 2002, systematic lupus 2005- definate CNS involvement dxed late 2005, psoriasis 2006, rheumatoid arthritis 2006, PTSD 2007, multiple allergies 2005, migraine, compression fractures T11 & T12, Sj√∂gren's, damaged periphrial nerves 2007,
Tx: plaquenil, Enbrel, Darvocet, Singulair, Flexeril, Baby Asprin, Imuran, Procardia, Prilosec

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