Anyone alone w/child & sick?

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SSDore9240
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 8/27/2008 4:30 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm interested in other peoples coping techniques concerning raising a child/children on your own while sick, especially keeping up with school.
 
I am raising my 7 year old daughter alone.  She is scheduled to visit her father 2 hours on Monday and Wednesday, along with every other Saturday. 
 
The lack of alone/adult time aside, I don't know how I am going to make it through the start of school!
 
This summer has be the most exhausted yet. This child has learned what and how to fix her own meals at times...I struggle with the guilt of that, at least I know she can feed herself though!
 
I must drive her to school, she doesn't have the option of riding a bus.  So I can't just roll outta bed and walk her to the bus stop.  She did miss a few days last year due to my being ill.  None of the neighbors children attend the same school. 
 
Any thoughts on ways of making school easier?  I know about the whole pack a lunch the day before and lay out the clothes...
 
I can see it now, I will be the mom who makes it too the parking lot, lets the child out and parks for a nap!  Maybe I can pack my own lunch and never leave the lot! lol
 
Any suggestions?  Energy conservation methods?
31 year old mom of 1: SLE, UCTD, FM, Arthritis, Reynalds(?), Migraines, Alopecia, Neuropothy(L:Hand & Foot), Int. Bells Palsey, Costrocondritis(?), a bunch of other stuff I don't remember right now and even more labwork I dont understand! Patient at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, MD.
 Plaquinil, Trazodone, Lidoderm, Percocet for now...I hate taking the meds!  Refusing any more Prednisone!


PattyLatty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2570
   Posted 8/27/2008 5:47 PM (GMT -7)   
That's one I've never had to deal with Stephanie, but I trust you put on the old ball cap and sweats and don't bother with real clothes. I don't know whether or not you're a make-up person but I've learned to live without in during the past four years. If you can just get her there and make it home with the promise that you don't have to move till a hour before time to pick her up, can you manage a little better? I feel bad for you because it's hard for me to get going at all till about 11:00 a.m. Your daughter sounds like a real jewel.

I'm sure Hippi will have lost of suggestions for you. She has a husband but he works a lot and she's home with the kids.

Why does your daughter spend so little time with her father?

Pat
Lupus, osteoarthritis, fibro, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines, costocondritis.
cellcept, neurontin, prednisone, plaquenil, synthroid, triamterene, tramadol, actonel, tri-est, imitrex, cymbalta, tricor, acifex, multivitamin, calcium w vit D, fish oil, aspirin


sjkly
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 2113
   Posted 8/27/2008 5:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Can you arrange a carpool? There might be someone one neighborhood away. Why can't she ride a school bus-even if its a private school the district may under some conditions be required to provide transportation.

SSDore9240
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 8/28/2008 6:49 AM (GMT -7)   
My daughter has severe anaphilactic food allergies. The school that she attends is the school that she started K in.

Once she started K the school district had to make special arrangements with the FDA (qtys are required by FDA to get lunch funding from govmt)not to recieve peanut butter and a lower qty of fish products due to her having reactions simply by inhalation.

I had to move out of her schools zone between k and 1st grade but still within the district. The school board was unable to move these arrangements to her new school so she is allowed to remain and I have to transport.

Her father does not take as active a part as I would hope. His motther on the other hand helps when she can. If it weren't for her I'm not sure that he would make an attempt.

As far as clothes and makeup...those are a thing of the past! Sometimes I even plan my pjs according to the next days events...so I can just roll-out. I dont even bother with a hat half the time...bald spots and all. Oh well, so I dont win the beauty pagent...Im not upset! :)

Thanks for taking the time to reply!

Stephanie
31 year old mom of 1: SLE, UCTD, FM, Arthritis, Reynalds(?), Migraines, Alopecia, Neuropothy(L:Hand & Foot), Int. Bells Palsey, Costrocondritis(?), a bunch of other stuff I don't remember right now and even more labwork I dont understand! Patient at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, MD.
 Plaquinil, Trazodone, Lidoderm, Percocet for now...I hate taking the meds!  Refusing any more Prednisone!


PattyLatty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2570
   Posted 8/28/2008 7:31 AM (GMT -7)   
You know, Steph, that her dad will eventually lose out in the end. That's too bad for your child though. You have quite a load.

I always dressed up, did the face, etc. till I got sick. Now it seems so irrelevant and unimportant in the bigger picture. You have your priorities right. Keep on keepin' on.

Pat
Lupus, osteoarthritis, fibro, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines, costocondritis.
cellcept, neurontin, prednisone, plaquenil, synthroid, triamterene, tramadol, actonel, tri-est, imitrex, cymbalta, tricor, acifex, multivitamin, calcium w vit D, fish oil, aspirin


hippimom2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 5403
   Posted 8/28/2008 8:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Stephanie, I can relate to a lot of what you talk about. I have 2 kids (6 & 10 yrs old). I am fortunate not to be a single parent, but my husband works very long hours - he leaves the house at 4:30am and doesn't get home until 6 or 7 at night Monday through Friday, so it is usually my sole responsibility to get my kids to and from school and to any of their extracurricular activities.

It is exhausting and when I am flaring, just the normal daily things I have to do for my kids seem like impossible tasks. I've done the pajama thing many many times. I wish I had some ideas for you, but when you feel really sick, it's just really hard. Like you, I get as much ready as I can the night before. I'm also working with my kids to get them to do as much for themselves as they can. Like your daughter, they can fix themselves some food if I'm really sick. I completely relate to the guilt too. It used to eat me alive, but people here helped me a lot with that. I know that I am almost always emotionally available to my kids even when I am physically exhausted. They know they can come into bed and snuggle up with me or get hugs from me whenever they want to. I think that being there emotionally is more important than being able to do physical things with them. I've also had people here tell me that this experience will make my kids more caring and empathetic people and I can see that it has. I can tell by your post how much you love your daughter and I'm sure she can feel that too and that is the most important thing.

I give you so much credit for doing this on your own and you sound like a very strong person (even if you don't feel like it sometimes). The only thing I can think of is to see if you can fight for some kind of transportation for your daughter since she can't go to the school that is closest to you. I know in our school district they do have cars that are designated as "school buses" that pick kids up for various reasons. The other thing you might check into is to see if your community has some type of volunteer organization. Our community has a retired senior citizens volunteer organizations (but any age volunteer can join). These volunteers are mostly people in their 50's and 60's that are in good health who want to help out in some way - they drive people to doctor's appointments, and do a lot of other things. I would bet if there was something like that in your community you might be able to get a nice volunteer to maybe drive your daughter to school a few days a week. Those are the only things I can think of as far as transportation.

Hang in there and know that we are here for you.
Diagnosis:  UCTD (lupus) 2006; Raynauds 2006; Sjogren's 2006; lupus symptoms began 2003; UC 2008; CFS 1991; Mono 1985
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SSDore9240
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 8/28/2008 2:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much! I hadn't thought of the volunteers as a possibility. I know that all of this has and will help her see the bigger picture and appreciate what we do have.

Thanks for your help and Pat...Keep on keepn' on has become a mantra of mine!:)

Stephanie
31 year old mom of 1: SLE, UCTD, FM, Arthritis, Reynalds(?), Migraines, Alopecia, Neuropothy(L:Hand & Foot), Int. Bells Palsey, Costrocondritis(?), a bunch of other stuff I don't remember right now and even more labwork I dont understand! Patient at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, MD.
 Plaquinil, Trazodone, Lidoderm, Percocet for now...I hate taking the meds!  Refusing any more Prednisone!


puccini914
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 8/28/2008 2:47 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm 39 with two boys 5 and 1. I'm home schooling for many reasons. My 5 yr old has sensory integration dysfunction and has a fear of choking on any new foods. He has also regressed in his potty trainning since our recent move. He's just not ready for the pressures of school. He is extremely social and plays well with kids of any age. With homeschooling I can work around my illness and still have some time to myself when the two boys are playing together, like now, for instance. I use Seton Home Study program which is Nationally accredited, they provide lesson plans, do all the grading and provide online and telephone assistance. Even in the rural area where I live, there is a network of parents that homeschool and do outside activities. Many of these dear women are friends of mine who have offered to take my son with them when they do outside stuff. Homeschooling isn't for everyone, but so far it's really working out for me. Best of luck and God Bless.

Jennifer

Diagnostic Limbo: Seeing Rheumy since November 07, Taking plaquenil, Cymbalta, Flexeril,Claritin, Zantac,Ambien, vitamin D, Darvocet.

 

 


SSDore9240
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 8/28/2008 3:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow! I applaud you! In my previous life....I was a Certified Brain Injury Specialist. I worked with Autistic and Brain Injured children at school and in thier homes, 1:1 ratio. I have a good idea what adaptations you have made for your son. It sounds like you have a good plan for your family.

My daughter is very social and honestly, I will welcome the hours alone! Even though I will prob. be asleep, at least she's not in the next room alone.

We should chat some time, I would love to hear more about your children! In the past, I absolutely loved working with the sensory dys. families.

Thanks for sharing,

Stephanie
31 year old mom of 1: SLE, UCTD, FM, Arthritis, Reynalds(?), Migraines, Alopecia, Neuropothy(L:Hand & Foot), Int. Bells Palsey, Costrocondritis(?), a bunch of other stuff I don't remember right now and even more labwork I dont understand! Patient at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, MD.
 Plaquinil, Trazodone, Lidoderm, Percocet for now...I hate taking the meds!  Refusing any more Prednisone!

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