Hi Lespaul, Wow sounds like you two have been through alot together. You said the dr. said it would be a rare side effect? I was wondering what would be a rare side effect? Depression? Because depression is a huge problem with lupus I think most of us are taking some type of anti depresssant or seeing someone. Not only is it depressing to know in your mind that you have a lot to offer but your body has you trapped it also causes very real physical reasons that attack your body that causes depression. Your adrenal glad is one thing. if it's out of wack from the lupus it can cause depression and extreme tiredness. Some people do lose weight. But usually there is a weight gain problem because of steroids and less activity.
I don't think I would take what she said right now to seriously. It sounds like she is suffering from depression and you are the one she loves the most and feels safe pushing you away. Unfortunately you can't force her to get help. You can be supportive and help her if she's having a rough day but if she needs a dr. she needs to be agressive with her own care.
Maybe you should try some counseling on your own for a little while. You can't ignore your own emmotions fears concerns. Care givers have a tendency to put their loved ones first and than they wind up being sick. Try to take it one day at a time and don't worry until you know there is something to worry about. Lupus can cause problems attacking the brain as well. Maybe the dr can get her on something to get her feeling better. Get another CT scan see what's going on there.
You're both welcome to come here any time with questions and fears or whatever. There are a lot of great people here that are very supportive. By the way that was me you read about with the lung problems and said God bless. I just wanted to thank you for that.
You and your wife are in my prayers let us know how it goes with the dr.
Hi Lespaul and Mrs. I also think your wife has major depression. She fought to get her health back after paralysis. Then she worked as hard as she could for that ICU job, no doubt thinking that she could conquer anything, and it just wasn't enough. Lupus causes such terrible brain fog and we often can't concentrate. For me the worst part of lupus was facing my mental and physical limitations. I have a bachelors in medical technology and I had to resign from a rewarding, high paying job. As for your wife, one of the most common signs of depression is withdrawl from human contact. I hope that as a nurse your wife will understand that she is depressed and has situational anxiety. This is important: Ask her if she has thoughts of suicide. Also ask her if she has a plan on how she would like to commit suicide. If she has a plan, she must see a doctor immediately. I know talking about suicide will be hard for both of you, but it often helps to get the topic out in the open- I know this from personal experience. Of course I hope she hasn't reached this point. Finally, Carol gave great advice that as a husband and caregiver you would also benefit from counseling. Please let us know how you both are doing. Love, Butterflake