I know this isn’t an easy question to answer, I’m just looking for some help. My question is how does everyone else deal with the disappointment and guilt? At the end of a weekend I find myself apologizing to my husband because we couldn’t do all the things we wanted which wasn’t much to begin with. Even when we do get out for a short errand I’m pushing through it not enjoying a moment because I feel so miserable. My husband is very supportive and understanding but for some reason that doesn’t make me feel any better. I am very sick and I’m getting worse which is making me sad. I’m going to be starting a new treatment plan soon, but I don’t want to keep telling myself that it will get better then, because I’ve been telling myself that for 7 years now and it isn’t any better. I have to figure out how to live with who I am now and I don’t know how. I don’t like who I am now and I can’t stand my limitations. I can’t imagine the rest of my life being like this but I have to face that it is not up to me. I am scared, confused, angry and lost. I don't know how to help myself through this. I’ve thought about support groups but I’m not very social anymore, just posting this is a huge step for me. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for listening.
Catzz- thank you for your post. Your words touched me deeply as I feel exactly that way when things get bad. I don't have any answers - but there was a lot of wisdom in the other responses. I think recognizing that we grieve for what we have lost is important. That grief will take different forms at different times (sorrow, anger, guilt, depression, etc.) and sometimes when they gang up on us we need help. Finding others who understand what it all means may be the most helpful. I'm not so social anymore, either, but I wish there was a support group locally - I sure would give it a try. This forum is the next best thing. You said posting here was a big step...Good for you!....just keep taking one after another. (((Hugs)))