You do NOT have to decide in a week. And remember that in a 50/50 odds deal, 50 people out of 100 do better. And one thing I know as an old nurse, you probably have way too many family and friends pressuring you, however well meaning. I believe in the power of prayer, and just want you to know that ANY decision YOU make for YOU is the right one. And it is ok to fight with every ounce of your being, but ok to say when you have fought enough. There is hope you might get better doing nothing! And when our burdens and our illness seem more than we can bear, put them aside, for just a minute, or an hour. How would we eat an elephant? ...... One bite at a time.
Prayers sent your way.
Hi! Smurf to smurf,
Deep breath, good for you. Remember, you get to make the best decision for you that you need to make at the time you make it. Did that make sense? And radiation txs are way better now than they used to be, they take aim, tell the computer to do it's thing, and blimey, the tx is over. Many pts. chat or doze, and I wondered if you might want to write in a journal? Sometimes just thinking some thoughts that are comfy, or of things you might want to tell your children, can pass the time during your treatment. Some people really like to write in a diary, or journal, I believe it was very therapeutic for me. I actually ripped out afew pages after I wrote them, after I had a chance to reread them. I was in the hospital with a serious infection after my son was stillborn from strep, and I journaled for years. I make my students write in one after they do their work experience in the nursing home. Do you knit or crochet? You can't move during the actual tx. but afew stitches here, a few there, make a scarf, or a baby blanket. It really is easy to learn from those little books, and google picture directions on the computer. The nurses will be happy to talk to you, and pad you down with pillows and blankies. If you like, bring your favorite one. Or a teddy bear. Borrow a stuffed toy from one of your family members if you like, I think ipods or mp3 players are good, too. I think you could even find one of the nurses to help you learn knit or crochet, bet a nickel.
p.s. are your kids in school?, you could perhaps take turns bringing them with you to your treatments, just write the school a note, pack a bag of snacks, or if the budget allows a stop at McDonald's? Or a picnic in your bed when you get home. You might find your kids would like to "cook" for you on tx days, tomato soup, PB&J, something to look forward to that will help take care of your heart, and knowing that your family wishes they could make you better, that letting them help in an active way might help them cope with some of their heartache, too. It is so hard to watch someone you care about suffer, And lastly, I know, I do go on, one day at a time.
Wings Of Love
Losing my hair, muscle spasms, getting ill,fevers, and so much more its hard to explain. Doctor's say its apart of all the medications skill.
Day after day I endure the pain, Catch me, I'm falling, falling like a leaf.Hold me, hold me like there is no tomarrow.For all this chemo is giving me grief. Know if there is no other day, I will be right here waiting for yousending my love in a heart felt way. wondering if I will make it.But I am fighting for your love's domain.
Catch me, don't let me drop when I fall. Love me, don't ever stop. Wrap your arms around me and hold me when I call.
Crying so much its like how the wind blows. Wanting to go back to normal life, knowing I can't. Tired of the chemo and its throes.
Tired of being glued to the john, head over a trash can.Just shoot me, c'mon.
Catch me, I'm falling, falling like a leaf.Hold me, hold me like there is no tomarrow.For all this chemo is giving me grief.
Know if there is no other day,
I will be right here waiting for you
sending my love in a heart felt way.