My first sad....

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Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 169
   Posted 3/23/2009 12:41 PM (GMT -6)   
My first granson baby "Owen Michael" went to heaven on March 22,2009. He was born on March 6, 2009. His lung collapsed nd he didn't make it.  I recieved the call at 2:30AM, my daughter in-law crying her heart out, I couldn't go because I was soo sick, I have a very bad cold and with a bad flare too that I could barley move my body out of bed.  I feel so bad I couldn't be there to hold the baby at least once, he was a premie baby, only weighed 1lb 7oz, but he had gained 3oz and was doing good.
Baby's cheeks had filled in he looked so beautiful.
How do I get through this?  I keep asking God why did he take him from us??
Sorry, sad


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   Posted 3/23/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -6)   
NanciLee said...
I am so so sad for the pain you and your family are going through right now. I can't begin to understand. Just know that many people will be thinking of you and praying for your strenght to carry on.


<Moved post to correct thread.>

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Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1533
   Posted 3/23/2009 2:16 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm so very, very sorry for your loss and that you didn't get to hold him. I'm sending my thoughts and prayers. ((((hugs)))) Love, Butterflake

Systemic Lupus ('05), depression, diabetes, fibro, gerd, hypertension, IBS, sleep apnea  Rx: Cellcept, plaquenil, prednisone, celebrex, lisinopril, actos, lipitor, nexeum, prozac, seroquel, wellbutrin, actonel, tylenol arthritis, neurontin, phenegren, flexeril, vit C, multi vit, flaxseed oil.  Acupuncture  "Welcome to lupus, where the strange is ordinary and nothing is normal." Donna 

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/23/2009 2:42 PM (GMT -6)   

As someone who recently lost a child that never took one breathe outside of my womb, I understand your pain. To not even get to hear your child cry before you have to bury them is something I'll never get over, but I am learning to deal with on a daily basis. I held my son just once, and he was deceased already.

The only tips I can offer you are as follows:
- GOD is GOD
-GOD knew something that you didn't
- The spirit of your grandbaby will return to you someday
and finally, the one that comforts me the most, You know have a personal angel.

I hope that this is helpful and just know, God is GOD.

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Date Joined Jul 2007
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   Posted 3/23/2009 3:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I can't begin to express how sorry I am for your loss. I have never experienced anything that would begin to compare. I will be praying for you and your family. Judy

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 474
   Posted 3/23/2009 5:16 PM (GMT -6)   
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family - there is nothing to say to lessen the heartache but I am thinking of you all.
Take care,

Dx: Lupus, sjogren's, celiac, severe allergies.
Daily Meds: Plaquenil, Zyrtec. Aciphex, Nasacort, Prozac, Ambien CR.
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As Needed Meds: Epinephrine, Benadryl, Proventil, Xopenex, Tylenal, Darvocet, Prednisone.

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   Posted 3/23/2009 5:27 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry for your loss! Please know that you and your family have lots of prayers going your twinkiet said, God knows something you didnt and you will unite one day together!!!!



21 years old...Systemic Lupus 11/07, lupus nephritis 01/09, raynoids 03/08, Carpal Tunnel 03/08

Ultram, Prednisone, Cell-Cept, Lisinopril, Imuran, Ambien, Flexeril, Darvocet, Ferrious Sulfade, Calcium, Vitamin B12, Chantex, Aspirin 81 mg, Vitamin C

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Date Joined Jun 2008
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   Posted 3/23/2009 8:00 PM (GMT -6)   

So Sorry for your loss, and the heavy heartache you and your family are having to carry right now.  Sending prayers for your peace and comfort.


diagnoses:  mono 1972; postviral CFS 1997; fibro 1998;  UCTD (dx limbo) 2007
meds: Plaquenil 400 mg, occasional low dose xanax for sleep aid, artificial tears w/ ointment at night, Advil/aspirin prn

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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 3/23/2009 9:36 PM (GMT -6)   

((((((((( Syl )))))))))))))) . . . prayers, hugs and blessings for you as you make you way through this difficult time. I'm so terribly sad for you. Friends of my son and d-i-l lost their 14 month old girl this week too. Just so sad.

I pray that you feel His grace day by day to help you and your family make your way through this loss.


In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum

UCTD, Inflammatory Arthritis, Diverticulosis, (recent dx - Sjogrens, Crohn’s 4/08)

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 3/23/2009 9:40 PM (GMT -6)   
i am so sorry for your loss, syl . . . my prayers are with you
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Albert Einstein
Dx: SCLE, Sjogren's, Reynaud's, Peripheral Neuropathy

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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 3/24/2009 9:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh Syl.... I"m so sorry.  My prayers are also with you. He's with his Creator now, and that is the most peaceful, loving place he can be. It's so difficult to understand why God lets these things happen. There is a purpose, and someday we'll know why. Just be confident in knowing that this little child is in a place of love.  Keep that close to your heart.
Blessings my friend,
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in,to be content. Phillipians 4:11-13

35 years old. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, Anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke, 2002), Sjogren's, Raynaud's, Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck), anxiety, Chinook migraines. Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, Didrocal, Cozaar, Zoloft, Neurontin, calcium, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus
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Date Joined Mar 2006
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   Posted 3/24/2009 11:10 AM (GMT -6)   

Your loss is something most of us can't really grasp, but I do know that Owen Michael's soul wil always be in heaven, as is the soul of my little Christopher, whom I lost 23 years ago and never got to meet. Your pain will eventually subside, but his little soul will always be with you. God bless.

SLE, fibro, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines, costocondritis.

prednisone, plaquenil, arava, neurontin, synthroid, triamterene, actonel, tri-est, cymbalta, tricor, acifex

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 169
   Posted 3/24/2009 12:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all, for your all are so kind.
I'm having a hard time talking to my hb about this. My daughter in law came yesterday, she decided she wanted to have the baby be part of her and she will have a part of him on a necklace, because she didn't get to hold him much and she feels baby will with her near and every day, rest in an urn. I hope this will help her more every day.
I'm worried this may put her into more depression.
I'm also sad because my son can't be here to console her too. My d-i-l cried here and wished he was here with her to make everything alright.

It's very comforting to know our loved ones souls are in heaven and we will meet them again, one special day.

Have a Blessed Day!!!


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   Posted 3/24/2009 1:20 PM (GMT -6)   
((((((((( Syl ))))))))))))

Her outward sadness is actually a 'good' thing. Grief is processed in stages and until all that sadness comes out it can't be dealt with effectively. Your hubby is processing his grief in another way right now . . . by holding it in or denying it. He's just not ready to share as openly as you and dear d-i-l are.

One thing that is really hard for a guy is when we have a problem and they can't fix it or offer a solution. When they can't "fix it" . . . they tend to ignore it, deny it, or move on to something they can actually control. Just a guy thing. . . he's probably not being insensitive . . . guys just process things differently than we do.

It may actually be helpful to say something like . . . "I could really use a big long hug" . . . it gives him a way to be helpful.

I'm so glad you got to spend some time with d-i-l. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.


In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum

UCTD, Inflammatory Arthritis, Diverticulosis, (recent dx - Sjogrens, Crohn’s 4/08)

Clickable Links:  Lupus Resources    Lupous.Org   Lupus Criteria (4 of 11)   Lupus Chapter Locator

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/24/2009 3:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Let your d-i-l cry as much as she wants to. When i was going through it, about a week after my son died someone actually fixed there mouth to say to me that it was time for me to get over it and move on with my life. That made me more depressed and probably what caused this stupid MCTD flare up because I haven't been right since...

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Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 102
   Posted 3/24/2009 4:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Im so sorry, you and your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
SLE, APS, Food Allergies, Gerd, Migrains
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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 323
   Posted 3/24/2009 7:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm also sorry for your loss of your grandson. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
Asthma,Lupus,H.B.P.,Dermatomyostis,Gastrparsis,Acid Reflux   
                Panic Attacks,Osteopenia,Thyroid  
  Advair,Diovan,Actonel,Prednisone on and off Eye Drops,VitaminD.     

Barbara Lee
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   Posted 3/25/2009 8:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Syl:

My deepest wishes to you. I'm so so sorry your grandson has passed away. I'll be praying for you and your daughter and her family. Know that he's in the Lords arms and is smiling down on you. Please take care and allow yourself to grieve and work through your loss.

dx fibro, SLE, glaucoma, cateracts, bells palsy, depression, migraine headaches, gastreopaersis, chronic anemia, RA,MDS (Blood Cancer). Tons of meds.

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 106
   Posted 3/26/2009 12:12 AM (GMT -6)   
My heart goes out to you and your family for your loss.

DX: IBS 00, +ANA 05, Depression 06, MCTD & Sjogren's 07, GER 08, NO Sjogren's 09, ?????  
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Life is what you make of it.  Just something I try to remind myself every day.

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