Anyone try counseling?

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puccini914
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 3/30/2009 11:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey everyone,  I had a major blow up at my DH two nights ago, got out a lot of feelings I was trying to bottle away and I'm amazed at how much better I feel.  Still sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, but somehow just a bit lighter.  I do however feel a bit guilty for the pain it caused my DH.  He loves me so much that it tortures him to see me like this.  I'm considering getting some counseling, someone to see on a regular basis who is getting paid to let me vent out all of my frustrations and sorrows.  Just wondering if anyone here has tried this and how much it helped.  I'm really not looking forward to another appointment to have to keep, it's so hard to get out of the house somedays. 

Jennifer

PCP pretty convinced- Lupus , Taking plaquenil,Propranolol,  Flexeril,Claritin, Zantac,Ambien,vitamin B-12, multi- vitamin, Lortab.   Mom of 2 boys 1 and 6.  Symptoms: Fatigue, joint pain, heat/sun sensitivity, mouth and nose sores, malar rash, migranes, awful hives, positive ANA, and RF.

 

 


twinkiet
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/30/2009 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes. Therapy is great. I speak to my therapist maybe 3 times  a week to check in and I see her 2 times a month. It works wonders!

MJLD
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 3/30/2009 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
I personally do not see a counselor, have considered it, but I have a very supportive church family and friends who don't mind an occassional vent session! I don't think it could hurt. It is, however, one more appointment to keep which is a strong aversion for me! Judy

aimsgirl16
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1469
   Posted 3/30/2009 5:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Jennifer, I am the same way with Judy! Very fortunate to have a loving church family and friends! Even some co-workers will listen...now with the coworkers, I don't know if they are even listening but I get to let my feelings out and I feel better. And then there is always the wonderful forum of HW!!!! I also agree with you and Judy on having another apt to keep up with but it might be worth it. You can always give it a shot for a month or two and if you don't feel like its helping, you can stop going.

Amy

 

21 years old...Systemic Lupus 11/07, lupus nephritis 01/09, raynoids 03/08, Carpal Tunnel 03/08

Ultram, Prednisone, Cell-Cept, Lisinopril, Imuran, Ambien, Flexeril, Darvocet, Ferrious Sulfade, Calcium, Vitamin B12, Chantex, Aspirin 81 mg, Vitamin C


PattyLatty
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Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2570
   Posted 3/31/2009 6:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Jennifer,

Counseling is great for anyone who has a chronic disease. Mine has helped me learn how to cope, but additionally, she has helped me learn how to take care of myself and has given me great tools. If I flare, we talk about what I have done to bring it on (if anything) and what I could have done differently. I've been seeing her for quite a while so she knows me well and is a good mirror for me.

I've been slowly improving for the past couple of years and I attribute this to my team of doctors, my therapist, and having a positive attitude. I'm determined to get well and will do anything I have to do to go into remission.

I could write a book on why I think counseling is a good idea for most of us. It doesn't hurt to try it.

Pat
SLE, fibro, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines, costocondritis.

prednisone, plaquenil, arava, neurontin, synthroid, triamterene, actonel, tri-est, cymbalta, tricor, acifex


firebabe
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 206
   Posted 4/1/2009 5:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi-I go to therapy about once every 3 weeks.  My therapist has really help me work on ways to deal with stress so I don't have a flare and gives me other coping ideas.  She's also taught me how to blow off the non-believers and teach people how to deal with my Lupus.  It also just feels great to have someone on the outside who can take a look in and give me an unbaised opinion.  She's great.  She has not however been to quick to offer meds for the depression part as she has faith that I can pull through it on my own with her help.  Plus, meds like that can mess up your insurance and thats the last thing I need right now.  I would recommend therapy for anyone with a chronic illness.  My therapist actually specializes in chronic illnesses and grief.  I feel 100% comfortable sharing anything with her.
~Tammy~
 "Challenges make you discover things about yourself you never really knew."
 SLE and Class II Lupus Nephritis


puccini914
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 4/2/2009 1:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all so much for your wonderful imput. I think I'm going to give it a try, even if it's just to get out of the house and away from the kids for a little while. I have great caring friends at Church and our priest is wonderful, but I always feel guilty for dumping on them. They care so much that it hurts them to know how much I am really hurting. Also, I always have my kids with me at church and they are so young (2 &6), that I know it would scare them to see Mommy crying. I love you all here so much, but I'm looking forward to some face to face bawling and dumping. LOL Take care and God Bless you all.

Jennifer

PCP pretty convinced- Lupus , Taking plaquenil,Propranolol,  Flexeril,Claritin, Zantac,Ambien,vitamin B-12, multi- vitamin, Lortab.   Mom of 2 boys 1 and 6.  Symptoms: Fatigue, joint pain, heat/sun sensitivity, mouth and nose sores, malar rash, migranes, awful hives, positive ANA, and RF.

 

 


MJLD
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 4/2/2009 3:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Puccini
I do not have young children and I can see how that would hinder you from being able to express yourself freely in front of them. Glad you're trying it let us know how it goes! God Bless You, Judy

LovedbyHim
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 98
   Posted 4/17/2009 7:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jennifer, yep I now see a counselor and I cry cry lots! I guess i am still in the grieveing stage of this lupus journey. It helps me to vent all the junk and then my Christian counselor almost weeps as she validates how hrad this journey is. Sometimes I think we just need to get it out. God help us all to come to some type of acceptance and to laugh a little more. Keep on keepin on. Bless you Tammy

MJLD
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 4/17/2009 8:51 AM (GMT -7)   
How are you doing Jennifer? Judy

puccini914
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 4/17/2009 10:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Got an appointment for next Thurs. with a family counselor. We live in the mountains so we're a little limited. Thought about going to grief counseling group at church, still mulling it all over. It's tough to get appointments at a time when I can get DH to watch the kids. Not the kinda thing you drag your kids to. I'm still going through grieving over my lost self. I cannot be the same person I was five years ago, but Lord, do I miss her. I was the friend you could count on for anything, even house cleaning before family visists. Now, I hardly even talk to my friends, because they just don't get it. One is actually convinced that I just need to get out in the good ole' sunshine more, that's a laugh. Anyway, I hope this will help, because DH is very sensitive to what I'm feeling. Last night he said he might as well have Lupus too because he feels my pain so closely. By the way, he's the kinda guy that's so connected he actually got nauseous and gained weight when I was pregnant. LOL That was too funny!! Poor guy watches me wince as a walk around trying to be strong for the kids and all along, he knows how much I hurt and it makes him crazy because he can't do anything to fix it. Thank you all so much for your kind hearted words and encouragement. It really means the world to be. I'll let you know how it goes. Take care and God Bless you all.

Jennifer

PCP pretty convinced- Lupus , Taking plaquenil,Propranolol,  Flexeril,Claritin, Zantac,Ambien,vitamin B-12, multi- vitamin, Lortab.   Mom of 2 boys 1 and 6.  Symptoms: Fatigue, joint pain, heat/sun sensitivity, mouth and nose sores, malar rash, migranes, awful hives, positive ANA, and RF.

 

 


MJLD
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 4/21/2009 9:37 AM (GMT -7)   
I so know what you are feeling. The loss of life as you know it is something only those who experience it can understand. I'm glad your husband is so sensitive and understanding. That's gotta help. Hang in there Jen! Judy

puccini914
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 4/21/2009 10:40 AM (GMT -7)   
It's great that he's so sensitive and so tuned in to me, the only problem is that when I'm feeling my worst, he's practically useless. I guess I gotta look on the bright side, that at least he cares so much he feels my pain. By the way, decided against a counselor in the professional sense. We don't have any good Christian counselors here, I'm Catholic, so I'll be meeting with my priest. He told me this weekend that priests will serve as counselors and receive a lot of college, even graduate level training in seminary. He's concerned because traditional psychologists do not direct you towards spititual healing. Well, at least I'll be able to go to Confession and Commuion more often. He will even come to the house, so I don't have to go anywhere. Thank you all for your imput.

Jennifer

PCP pretty convinced- Lupus , Taking plaquenil,Propranolol,  Flexeril,Claritin, Zantac,Ambien,vitamin B-12, multi- vitamin, Lortab.   Mom of 2 boys 1 and 6.  Symptoms: Fatigue, joint pain, heat/sun sensitivity, mouth and nose sores, malar rash, migranes, awful hives, positive ANA, and RF.

 

 


puccini914
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 4/27/2009 5:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, just got back from talking to our priest, and I'm not sure how much I can post without it being considered too religious. So I'll tread lightly, because some of this was so healing for me. I spent about two hours with Father today, teeling all I had been going through. It seems that when I talk to someone about my feeling revelations come to me. I have always known that God has some plan for me and have always felt His love, but since I became sick the whole concept of a plan has escaped me. I had always been a person that took great joy from helping others. Even as a small child, all I wanted to do was help people or even animals. Since I became sick, I had been retreating further and further away from people because I didn't even want to burden them with sadness of my condition. I was no longer able to help others like I used to and the last thing I wanted was to make other feel sad or feel sorry for me. As I was talking to Father, I realized that I have been denying my closest friends and family the joy of helping me. I'd shut the door on their love and not let them help me. I remembered the passage in the Bible when Peter asked Jesus if the man's blindness was caused by his own sin or that of his parents. Christ told him that it was so the Glory of God could be revealed in his healing. I know that the hardest thing in the world for me to do is to ask for help and I know now that this is one of the lesson that God is trying to teach me. I hope none of this sounds too preachy, but it was so wonderful and so healing that I just wanted to share with you all. Peace and Blessings to everyone.

Jennifer

PCP pretty convinced- Lupus , Taking plaquenil,Propranolol,  Flexeril,Claritin, Zantac,Ambien,vitamin B-12, multi- vitamin, Lortab.   Mom of 2 boys 1 and 6.  Symptoms: Fatigue, joint pain, heat/sun sensitivity, mouth and nose sores, malar rash, migranes, awful hives, positive ANA, and RF.

 

 


SmurfyShadow
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 4/27/2009 7:02 PM (GMT -7)   
I personally go to counceling. Its a great place to vent. I started it 2 years ago after my brothers death in Iraq. I been going since, as I found it helps witha ll stress
 
Smurfy Shadow
 
Desirèe 
 
DX: Wegener's Disease, Migraines, Diabetese Type II, PCOS, Lactose Intolerant, Benign Heart Murmer, Depression, Asthma, Asperger's Syndrome, Necrotizing Gramultous Inflamation in eye, A.D.D., Acid Reflux, Tumor Behind the Eye, Carpal Tunnel, Fibromyolgia, Clasterphobic, Arthritis
 
Medications:  Tri Nessa, Percocet, Metformin, Prilosec, Protonix, Zantac, Advair, Cingulair, Albuterol, Calcium + Vitamin D, Pro-Air, Pepcid, Rolaids, Zofran, Compuzeen, Refresh Plus Eye Drops
 
PRN: Epi-Pen, Albuterol Nebulizer, Benedryl
 
Undergoing Radiation
 
Taking Lorazepam (Ativan) on Radiation Days


LovedbyHim
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 98
   Posted 4/28/2009 5:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh Jennifer, your words are like balm to my hurting heart. My faith has always been extremely deep and all I knew was encouraging others. Now I am slammed with pain and fatigue so much and weep often. What is worse is that sometimes well meaning people say words that hurt and I have to work so hard to forgive. The other week I fell apart in a church group and a woman with fibromialgia  later took me aside and said, "You need to have a more positive attitude." I was stunned and hurt, but shortly afterwords a dear man in our group came up to me and with tears in his eyes he said, "I don't know what to say to you but this much I know, I can't imagine walking in your shoes with so much pain and weakness. My heart is heavy for you and I will pray hard for you." This meant so much to me. He has held true to his word. Each Sunday people tell me he is asking prayer for me. This week I gained pounds of fluid from the lyrica. Skinny Tammy is now fullfigured and holding lots of cellulite! Energetic and full of life and now quietly getting through the pain. Working hard and serving others and now being served. Humbling is where I am at and I believe you are in a  humbling space as well Jennifer. Your words are deep and it feels as if you are wiping my tears from my face. So, you are still being used by Him. God hold you close through this grieving process. In His care, Tammy

I have SLE, Raynauds, mitrol valve prolapse,Haushimotos thyroiditis.
 
Meds I'm on are Prednisone, Vitamin D, Hydroxchloiquin, amitriptylin, levoxyl, colchcine, mobic, flexeril, and lyrica
 
Rom 8:18-19 "I consider that my present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." 


puccini914
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 4/28/2009 6:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Love and prayers to you , Tammy. Father reccomended the writings of St Teresa of Avila, I'll let you know what it's like. She was totally paralized for a whole you and was sick through most of her life, as was my patron Saint, St Therese of Lisiuex, the Little Flower. My Therese was unable to do great works in the service of God because of TB. So she dedicated her life to doing every small act with the greatest Love in her heart. If another sister was mean to her, she would love them all the more. She embraced her suffering as an offering to God. She prayed by filling her heart with silent overpouring love. Take care and God Bless.

Jennifer

PCP pretty convinced- Lupus , Taking plaquenil,Propranolol,  Flexeril,Claritin, Zantac,Ambien,vitamin B-12, multi- vitamin, Lortab.   Mom of 2 boys 1 and 6.  Symptoms: Fatigue, joint pain, heat/sun sensitivity, mouth and nose sores, malar rash, migranes, awful hives, positive ANA, and RF.

 

 


Ginny
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 4/28/2009 8:09 AM (GMT -7)   
HI Jennifer,
 
I tried going to counselling but found it to be harder on me than not going! Hahaha.. Yikes.  I think my greatest sources of therapy comes from my family and my faith.  Your husband sounds like a beautiful man with so much empathy and such a bond with you! That is wonderful.  Hold on tight to that man and love him like crazy!!
 
Praying for you sis,
 
Ginny
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in,to be content. Phillipians 4:11-13

35 years old. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, Anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke, 2002), Sjogren's, Raynaud's, Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck), anxiety, Chinook migraines. Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, Didrocal, Cozaar, Zoloft, Neurontin, calcium, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus
 
Co-Moderator for the Lupus and Fibromyalgia forums


joinery
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 323
   Posted 4/28/2009 12:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Jennifer

My brother is a pastor and I find that I can talk to him about everything, I don't hold back nothing. He's really a great listener.... He is so understanding. He bought me a new bible it's the new testment I read it at night before I go to sleep. If I offended anyone please delete. Take Care.
Debbie
Asthma,Lupus,H.B.P.,Dermatomyostis,Gastrparsis,Acid Reflux   
                Panic Attacks,Osteopenia,Thyroid  
  Reglan,Protonix,Synthroid,Plaquenil,Quinacrine,Flexeril,Zetia,Zoloft,Xnanx,Celebrex,Abuterol,  
  Advair,Diovan,Actonel,Prednisone on and off Eye Drops,VitaminD.     
 
 
 
 


Lynnwood
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 7019
   Posted 4/28/2009 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Just a reminder -- this thread is about counseling - please try to keep it to that and avoid mention of particular religions or religious items per Forum Rule 10 - paraphrased as No posts of an overtly political or religious nature OR posts promoting advocacy of particular personal religious causes. The forums are intended for offering mutual personal support. Limited religious references are allowed.

Maybe using more inclusive & generic language like "spiritual adviser" and "spiritual publications" would help make sure we are including all of our worldwide members of multiple faiths. Specific terms like priest, father, bible, etc. could make some members feel excluded.

Nothing is far out of bounds yet, but we're treading a very thin line here.

Thanks for your consideration in this matter.

Lynnwood, Co-Moderator: Lupus Forum
SLE(’00), Sjogren's Syndrome, Raynaud's Syndrome, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Depression, Herpes Simplex 1
Plaquenil, Prednisone(15 5mg), Piroxicam, Xanax, Trazodone, Boniva, Wellbutrin, Valtrex, Vicodin, Prilosec
Links: Diagnosing Lupus (4 of 11), Lupus.org Info, Lupus Resources, Help HealingWell, Drug Interactions

Life is far too important to be taken seriously. –Oscar Wilde, 1882


LovedbyHim
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 98
   Posted 4/30/2009 10:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Jennifer, I am sending away for the books. We need all the inspiration we can get from survivors of any THING. This road is long and hard for many of us right now. There is a book called 'Stretcher Bearer" It's supposed to be about how we are sometimes the one who carries a person and sometimes the one being carried. Sounds good to me! I hate being carried and here I am. LOL I want to yell, "Hey...I'm supposed to be down there!" Yet here I am too worn out to mow my lawn! Sheesh. STRETCHER! Take care and keep the faith. Tammy
I have SLE, Raynauds, mitrol valve prolapse,Haushimotos thyroiditis.
 
Meds I'm on are Prednisone, Vitamin D, Hydroxchloiquin, amitriptylin, levoxyl, colchcine, mobic, flexeril, and lyrica
 
Rom 8:18-19 "I consider that my present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." 

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