PCP pretty convinced- Lupus , Taking plaquenil,Propranolol, Flexeril,Claritin, Zantac,Ambien,vitamin B-12, multi- vitamin, Lortab. Prednisone 15mg daily added 03/09. Mom of 2 boys 1 and 6. Symptoms: Fatigue, joint pain, heat/sun sensitivity, mouth and nose sores, malar rash, migranes, awful hives, positive ANA, and RF.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. It sucks and he sucks. I went through a similar scenario with my ex-husband. Just follow your heart. Anyone who's been through a difficult marriage or break-up can tell you something for sure. There comes a point when you just know its over. A weird kind of calm comes over you when you realize that the decision is clear and you just know what you are going to do and that its the right thing for you. And until you get to that point, anything is possible. Don't let anyone tell you what to do or how to feel. Do what you want and take care of you and your kids. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Hi Jennifer, Sometimes these stupid computers can get people in a lot of trouble doing and saying thing you would never dream of doing in person. Your husband is probably in love with the idea of the carefree easy going times of school.
I am absolutely in no way justifying what happened but if you love him and he loves you you both need to do what ever you can to make it work. Not for the kids because I think that's a cop out when I heard we stayed together for the kids. Ask any kid who lives with parents that fought all the time it's no picnic for them. Marriage is so hard sometimes but it can be so fulfilling too.
Like the others said get counseling talk to your preist talk to each other. My husband ands I used to fight like cats and dogs. but when had great times too. Then when I was 42 he died. I wish I had back all those hours and days back that we wasted fighting or not talking to each other. If you want to stay with him fight for your marriage don't look back 10 years from now and say I wish I had tried a little hard.
well, this subject touched me. My husband of 10 years had a mental fling with a much younger waitress that flirted with him everytime he when in which turned into everyday. They started calling , then texting then I found an email that florred me. "I've never felt this way before," "I think about you every second" " "you are the sexiest women that every lived". These are just a few of the phrases that crushed me. I forgave him and we moved on, but I never trusted him or believed him and that distrust ate at out marraige. One day he told me a little lie and I snapped like a twig and threw him out and I swear to God, I divorced him in 3 months.
3 months after the divorce was final, we started dating. Its been 2.5 years and I will NOT marry him. I feel this is the best way for me. Now, the only way I would marry him is if I needed great health insurance,
bottom line, do what is best for you. Maybe I moved to quickly. Maybe I shoudl ahve gone to see someone. I don't know. I do love him and I still have moments of distrust. BUT I CAN WALK AWAY if I want, and that keeps both of us on our toes.
PS, I was partly responsible for his mental cheating. I will never tell him that!!
Post Edited (Debbie Downer) : 6/8/2009 7:38:45 AM (GMT-6)
I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. I just wanted to offer you some hope. My husband did cheat on me once several years ago. It was right after my mother had passed away and we had just learned that we had fertility issues (male issues) which prevented us from getting pregnant. I know how devastating it is to have that trust shattered, and how difficult it is to gain back. Despite statistics, we chose to go through counseling. Because of counseling, and because we had started attending a church together for the first time in our marriage, we are still together 8 years (and 2 children) later. If your husband is amenable to it, I highly recommend you talk to someone as a couple (or separately, if you have to), whether it is a professional counselor or a minister/pastor.
Although I feel as though I have truly forgiven my husband for his infidelity, there isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't still think of it. You and your husband can recover as a couple, though, if you want to pursue that. Some people don't ever get over the initial hurt.
Blessings to you,