Not exactly a rant....

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python
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 7/20/2009 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Everyone
I hope everyone is doing as well as can be. This is not really a rant, just a need to talk to someone. I have the basic mctd overlap syndrome-sle, scleraderma and polymyocitis- plus reynauds and pericardial effusian. I have fluid on my legs and am on lasix and wear pressure hose for that. I also have ulcers on my lower legs that I am having to go to wound care once a week for. My rheumy tells me that I do not seem to be hurting as much as she thinks I should be and I feel fortunate about that, but I do hurt. I am only 45 and all this wears on me sometimes-sometimes I get so down emotionally over it that I occasionally break down and cry just to relieve pressure (my rheumy has asked me about depression meds before but I denied needing anything).  My hubby is super supportive and gives me anything I need but I feel like I have to be strong when he is home because when I do lose it it scares him. Everytime possible depression is mentioned he immediately thinks it's because he is or isn't doing something. I don't really have anyone to talk to about the way I feel because I don't want to worry my family, and I don't feel that anyone can really understand unless they are going thru it also. I'm not looking for pity or anything, just needed to talk to someone.
Thanks for bearing with me  :-)
Donna
SLE, Lupoid arthritis, Mixed Connective Tissue Disease, Scleraderma, Polymyocitis, Reynaud's, Hypo-Thyroidism, Pericardial Effusion/pericarditis, Irregular heartbeat, Hiatal hernia.
 Prednisone, Procardia XL, Methotrexate, Reglan, Lasix, Nexium, Potassium, Folic Acid, Synthroid, Cellcept, Toprol, 81mg Aspirin, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Multivitamin, Extra Strength Tylenol, Flexeril, Vicodin.


Weleetka
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 184
   Posted 7/20/2009 2:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Goodness.. I'm sorry ... I don't know what to say... I hope you can begin to feel better soon... I'm so glad you have a supportive husband... that has to help....

Ginny
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 7/20/2009 4:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Donna,
 
Your feelings are exactly what I experience every day too.  I want to be strong for my husband but sometimes living up to that expectation is just too difficult on me.  I need to be weak and needy!  opening those taps and letting your feelings out is so important. That's why we cry - to relieve the stress and sadness.  It's there for a purpose blush .  It's also okay to be on anti-d's.  We have to look after ourselves in every fashion.  Mental wellness is equally important as physical wellness.  If you can get in a better head-space you'll be amazed at how you can cope with your symptoms.  I'm on Zoloft.  It doesn't numb my emotions. I still cry, vent, get angry, frustrated, etc, but I'm more "even".  The depression isn't as dark. 
 
I'm seeing a psychiatrist on Thursday to help me figure out my PTSD, anxiety, depression issues.  I know how important mental health is.  I need it!  Do what you have to to get well - all over wink .
 
Love ya Donna, we're here for you,
 
Ginny
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in to be content.Phillipians4:11-13
35 years old. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, Anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke, 2002), Sjogren's, Raynaud's, Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck), anxiety, Chinook migraines. Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, Didrocal, Cozaar, Zoloft, Neurontin, calcium, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus
 Co-Moderator for the Lupus and Fibromyalgia forums


python
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2003
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 7/23/2009 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Weleetka, Yes, it does help some.
Ginny, thank you. It helps to talk to someone with the same feelings/experience. It feels like no one else can really understand unless they go through it. I don't know what I would do without the support I have received from this forum over the last couple of years. I have looked into local support groups but the closest is about 2 hours away so I guess for now I will just keep on as best as I can...Once again, thanks for the understanding and support--it sure helps.
Donna
MCTD (SLE, Scleraderma, polymyocitis), Reynaud's, Hypo-Thyroidism, Pericardial Effusion/pericarditis, Irregular heartbeat, Hiatal hernia.
 Prednisone, Procardia XL, Methotrexate, Reglan, Lasix, Nexium, Potassium, Folic Acid, Synthroid, Cellcept, Toprol, 81mg Aspirin, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Multivitamin, Extra Strength Tylenol, Flexeril, Vicodin.


Ginny
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 7/23/2009 4:12 PM (GMT -7)   
You're welcome Donna ((((((((hugs))))))))).  I sure appreciate your support too.  You're right.  No one else gets it and all we really need and want is to be understood.  It seems like such a small thing to ask of people, but it's not!  We need to stick together.  I'm grateful for this forum and all my friends here too. smilewinkgrin   I hope you're having a better day today blush
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in to be content.Phillipians4:11-13
35 years old. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, Anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke, 2002), Sjogren's, Raynaud's, Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck), anxiety, Chinook migraines. Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, Didrocal, Cozaar, Zoloft, Neurontin, calcium, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus
 Co-Moderator for the Lupus and Fibromyalgia forums

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