Frustrated & Tired

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Buttrfli
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 9/14/2009 10:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all,

Hope you do not mind a vent but I need to get it out.. I had a "supposed" dear friend at my home over the weekend. On Friday, I went out and went grocery shopping etc to make sure everybody had what they needed in the house. We had 4 adults and 3 children around. That night I cooked dinner and on Saturday did my normal chores. Now here is the problem that came in. As I went about my chores (i.e sweeping dishes overall cleaning), this friend never asked if I needed help nor did the person she brought with her (who didnt get out of bed til mid afternoon). "My" friend sat there most of the day complaining how tired she was and how exhausting my children are etc and even got upset when I asked could she throw some clothes in the dryer so I could run out for a minute. She said oh well I am going to take a nap so I can't. She knows I have lupus, and ehlers-danlos (not to mention I use a walker & wheelchair combo to accomplish things) & had just been diagnosed with the myocardia & bronchitis etc. I have never been one to complain as I understand it is a guest. But was it wrong for her to assume and expect me to continuously pick up after her, her friend, and her toddler??? That evening I even cooked a big meal for everyone which all 3 complained about (i.e. the time it took for it to be on the table, and what it was). I feel like she was using me for a free place to stay and maid service. Now today, my doctor is thinking that I may have set myself back with the lupus. I am entirely swollen and I feel like I have been in a 20 rd fight. I want to cry because I also homeschool my children and now they are suffering because of this. I just do not know how to address the situation or even if I should so I can avoid more of a stressful situation. Luckily, my other half stepped in when he got home on Saturday to help out because I was near collapse. I just wonder how long am I going to be paying for this and if it is going to really set back my recovery efforts. Thanks again for letting me vent and any insight you could share. I hate to address conflict and avoid it at any cost as I did this time but I do not know if I can continuously do this.

Sincerely,
Me
DX - Seronegative lupus, Raynaud's, EDS 2&3, Myocardial Ischema, SVT, asthma

Meds - Plaquenel, pain & muscle management, albuterol, nitroglycerin, temp on Prednisone (for bronchitis and pleurisy)

open to talk just send me a message.

Love & Light to you all and May the Sun bring you the best of blessings.


PattyLatty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2570
   Posted 9/14/2009 11:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Buttrfli, I hate to hear this, but am so glad you wrote about it. Venting is a good thing. Avoiding conflict any any cost is not. The eventual cost will be your health.

I'm so sorry that you feel that expressing your wishes and needs causes conflict. All that should be necessary is a friendly request for help. Your friend's (and her friend's) behavior was inexcusable and I hope you never let them stay with you again.

Hopefully you can take it easy for a while, and if you do, this flare should pass. I hope you start to feel better.

Take care,

Pat
SLE, fibro, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines, costocondritis.

prednisone, plaquenil, leflunomide, neurontin, synthroid, triamterene, actonel, niaspan, tri-est, cymbalta, tricor, acifex


crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 9/15/2009 4:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Buttrfli, I am sorry to hear you are flaring. I agree with Pat, your guests behavior was
inexcusable, especially knowing about your illnesses.

I have learned to ask for help when I need it, it is definately worth not flaring. Hope you feel
better soon. Have a relaxing soak in a hot bath and take some time for yourself.

Hugs

Robin
MCTD, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative 
 Disc Disease, Hypertension, Migraines and Pseudothrombocytopenia MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella,Flexeril,Diltiazem, Boniva, Vitamins 


Buttrfli
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 9/15/2009 4:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you both for your input on this. I still feel really drained but helps that I have cut myself back on what I am doin for the time being. No I will never allow them to stay back in my home as I know now what the consequences are going to be.
DX - Seronegative lupus, Raynaud's, EDS 2&3, Myocardial Ischema, SVT, asthma

Meds - Plaquenel, pain & muscle management, albuterol, nitroglycerin, temp on Prednisone (for bronchitis and pleurisy)

open to talk just send me a message.

Love & Light to you all and May the Sun bring you the best of blessings.

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