Hi Lori, sending you hugs. I'm sorry for your loss. I don't get here much so I don't know what all is going on with you but I recognize the anger and frustration of losing someone. I lost my husbnd who was in the hospital and died of no known reason by autosy. I lost my father this march so right after you lost your mom. I was in the hospital when my dad died and I was there for a month and couldn't get to the funeral. Frankly I think I had a break down because I don't really remember a lot about the 30 days in the hospital.
But losing my husband I was so angry. I prayed every night that I would wake up in the morning and it would have just been a nightmare. That didn't help. I tried the lawyers. I don't have a lot of faith in some lawyers. It took about 3 years to stop being angry. I had to tell my husband I was sorry and I did everything I could but I had to move on.
I guess I'm just trying to say everything you are going through is normal and it takes time. You will never get over losing your mom and the hardest part will be the (if only this or that) Mine was If I had taken him to a different hospital. Since then I have seen a lot of death and everyone has an If only they could tell you about. It's part of dealing with loss.
Iknow what I say if not helping I just want you to know I am praying for you to just talk to your mom I believe she can hear you and she wants to see you with a smile on your face and doing well. I know if I was the mom that's what I would want for my son. I would be saddened to see him suffer.
Hang in there one day you will actually think of somthing really funny that you remember about you and your mom and you will be surprised to know the laugh you hear is coming from your mouth.
systemic sclerosis sine scleroderma,sleep apnea,Megaloblastic anemia
what ever that is.