Will I ever feel good again??

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PattyLatty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2570
   Posted 12/30/2009 4:54 PM (GMT -7)   
I can count on 2 hands during the past 6 years that I've felt like a normal human being. I haven't been sick enough to be hospitalized. My kidneys, lungs, and heart are fine. My health is in no danger. But I just feel like crap. (Lynnwood, I really wanted to say something else but knew you wouldn't let me get away with it.)

What's triggered this depression and frustration, I'm sure, is that I can't use my right foot so I have to stay in bed all day. If I get up and around the added pain is not worth it. Hopefully, once my foot is on the mend, I can get back on my recumbent bike, get back to physical therapy, and start cooking again.

I know so many of you, if not most, feel this way, so I'm not alone. But just when I thought I was coming off my lupus flare I feel like I'm falling on my face again.

I hope 2010 will be the year.

Happy New Year friends.

Pat
SLE, fibro, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines, costocondritis.

prednisone, plaquenil, leflunomide, neurontin, synthroid, triamterene, actonel, niaspan, lyrica, tri-est, cymbalta, acifex


MJLD
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 12/30/2009 5:30 PM (GMT -7)   
I certainly hope you have a better 2010 Patty! So sorry you are miserable! Judy

redrose77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 2573
   Posted 12/30/2009 5:46 PM (GMT -7)   
I really hope 2010 is better for all of us. I hope your foot feels better soon. Know we are always here to listen and offer support.
Dx:fibromyalgia 2002, systematic lupus 2005- definate CNS involvement dxed late 2005, psoriasis 2006, rheumatoid arthritis 2006, PTSD 2007, multiple allergies 2005, migraine, compression fractures T11 & T12, Sj√∂gren's, damaged periphrial nerves 2007, exema
Tx: plaquenil, Enbrel, Tramadol, Singulair, Skelaxin, Baby Asprin, Imuran, Prilosec, lasix, Evoxac, Celebrex, Darvocet when things get too bad, prednisone again, various vitamin/mineral supplements, cozar
"Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible." T. E. Lawrence


mom46
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 8198
   Posted 12/30/2009 5:53 PM (GMT -7)   
((((Pat)))),
Bless your heart! I'm sure being confined to the bed is depressing itself, but when you feel bad all the time makes it all the more miserable.

I sure hope your foot heals soon so you can at least get around a bit. Hang in there and take care. You are in my thoughts and prayers for a healthier, happier New Year.

Love, Babs

crazykitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 4796
   Posted 12/30/2009 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Pat, sending you gentle hugs. It takes alot to deal with chronic illness. Time and time again
we are tested and what do we learn. We are stronger than we think. Hoping you are up and
feeling better soon. Take Care and I wish you a very Happy New Year.

Robin
MCTD, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative 
 Disc Disease, Hypertension, Migraines and Pseudothrombocytopenia MEDS: Methotrexate, Savella,Flexeril,Diltiazem, Boniva, Vitamins 


Ginny
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 12/30/2009 10:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Pat, when I saw the title of your post, I nodded my head and asked myself the same question.... I do know what it's like to feel this way. I wish I had some more encouraging things to say, but I'm struggling too. I just wanted you to know that you really aren't alone. There's nothing worse than feeling like you're going through this "poop" all by yourself. No one to understand what it is really like. I'm sending you lots of positive thoughts, and I really hope your foot mends soon too!

Three cheers for a much better 2010

PattyLatty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2570
   Posted 12/30/2009 10:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Judy, Red, Babs, Robin and Ginny for your support, understanding and hugs. I know that all of you know just what it's like to feel this way and some of you even worse, and it does help to feel you guys all around me tonight. I know that sometimes we are tested, and that's why the positive thoughts and hugs you're sending are most helpful.

So tomorrow is a new day and maybe I'll have my first long bath in nearly three weeks. And that, along with a change in attitude, a little less self pity, a nice cup of hot tea, and friendship, I'll be able to bid this year adieu and look forward to 2010 with hope.

Sleep tight everyone, and thanks.

Past
SLE, fibro, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines, costocondritis.

prednisone, plaquenil, leflunomide, neurontin, synthroid, triamterene, actonel, niaspan, lyrica, tri-est, cymbalta, acifex


Lynnwood
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 7023
   Posted 12/30/2009 11:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hang in there Patty (and I think the system would have edited that word by itself), the tide will change soon.
Lynnwood, Lupus & Sjogren's Moderator
"Life is far too important to be taken seriously" - Oscar Wilde


Ginny
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 12/31/2009 2:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Atta-girl Pat! That's the positive attitude we know so well! I have pity parties for myself all the time. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. As long as we can snap ourselves out of them! Enjoy your long bath, hot tea, and definitely leave this year behind you.

love ya!
Ginny

christine_rightbrain_writesjunk
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 12/31/2009 5:04 PM (GMT -7)   
This will pass..I know how much it feels as if it never ends. I am sure you have been in this place before. I too have spent almost a full two years in full flare up mode and eventually it passed. I try to appreciate the moments of life...because we here know how soon it can change. I am hoping it changes for the better soon for you too. I can also relate to all the body systems being okay enough..but the illness just being so bad I can't function. This is where I was when I finally made the decision to try methotrexate. It has so far changed my functioning level to the point where I feel like I have my life back..but guess what? I still don't cook anymore :( I have learned what I had to give up in order to keep what I really need or cherish.

love and big hugs to you!
Christine
CTDU/Probable SLE- Peripheral Neuropathy, Partial Complex Seizures, Severe and chronic joint pain/fatigue, Sun sensitivity, butterfly rash, vitamin D deficiency, skin rash in sun, Skin rashes, mouth, lip, nose sores, Hair loss, head sores, some muscle pain, Muscle cramps, Vascular: Raynoids syndrome, Hx of Pericarditis x 4, Severe Dry mouth, persistent, Thyroid Disease, hx of moderate asthma, lung inflammation at onset of illness, hx elevated RF, recent protein serum elevated. No positive ANA yet


Methotrexate, 2.5 mg (4tabs 1x a week) Folic Acid (1mg daily), Plaqunil 600mg day, Topomax 200mg day (neurapathy), Ultram 100mg (prn) pain, flexaral, pm for feet cramps, Synthroid .50 micro, estrogen patch, lexapro 5mg, (mild anxiety),

~nothing is impossible~


jhmom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2244
   Posted 12/31/2009 5:49 PM (GMT -7)   
(((( Pat ))))) I understand how you are feeling. I think maybe the surgery itself has something to do with this flare confused I do hope your foot gets better quickly! Hang in there my friend, we are here for you.
Stacie
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding ~ Proverbs 3:5 ~

DX: Lupus, Sjogrens, Raynaud's, Hashimoto's and Celiac Disease
RX: Imuran, Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Flexeril, Piroxicam, Levoxyl, Folic Acid, Folgard OS (B12), Vitamin D-50,000 IU, Tramadol (as needed) and magic mouthwash (for mouth sores)


nolatoco
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 1/1/2010 9:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Patty,
 
You were there for me when I was feeling frustrated and down!  And it seems like you are always a positive light in everyone's posts on the site.  Hopefully, this support from everyone here and my thoughts and prayers as well will reach you and ease some of your frustration, fatigue, and pain.
 
I'm so sorry you're feeling badly and I hope your foot gets better very soon and the flare will stop soon, too!  I think long baths and hot teas are the prescription for at least some emotional healing.  Keep thinking positively and know that everyone here is sending positive thoughts your way to help you through this.
 
smilesmilesmilesmile
Sending lots of smiles and hugs your way!
 
-NolatoCO
(Kelly)
 
 
Diagnoses- UCTD 2009, ovarian cysts 2008, asthma 2001
Daily Meds- Plaquenil, Prednisone, Vitamin D, Wellbutrin, Glucosamine Chondroitin 


PattyLatty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2570
   Posted 1/2/2010 3:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Amazing what a long hot bubble bath followed by watching a documentary about a homeless man can do for one's attitude. I have so much to be grateful for and you guys are right up there at the top of the list.

Kelly, you're likely right about the foot surgery having caused the flare. And your sweet words helped lift my depression.

Love you guys!

Pat
SLE, fibro, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines, costocondritis.

prednisone, plaquenil, leflunomide, neurontin, synthroid, triamterene, actonel, niaspan, lyrica, tri-est, cymbalta, acifex


mom46
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 8198
   Posted 1/5/2010 9:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Pat,
I hope your feeling a bit better by now. Sending positive thoughts your way....And a prayer.

Love, Babs

joannebas
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 1/6/2010 12:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Patty. I read your post and it was like words I would have written staring me in the face. I would like to offer you support and say keep your head high and try and remain positive. I wish I could take the pain away for you and all us other sufferers xxxxxx

aimsgirl16
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1469
   Posted 1/6/2010 6:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh wow, Patty! I am so sorry I have posted earlier. I guess this one slipped my eyes. I pray you are feelin better...How is the food doing after surgery? Has the malaise feeling gone away yet? i sure have missed you around here and hope things are back on the mend!!!
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