Well for what it's worth. I don't think i'd even give the doctor the name of the person you are seeing now. Especialy because they aren't doing anything for you. I would just tell them you had a great doctor that was treating your lupus and really helped you out. Unfortunately he died unexpectantly 3 years ago and you have been searching for someone that was as good as he was. (that will get em)!. You havn't been able to find anyone that you could talk to and get answers from and you really need someone that knows about autoimmune diseases instead of just arthritis. Well anyway that's how I would approach it.
hope it helps
I am an old hospital nurse/teacher and it's been my experience that official second opinions do carry some respect. Drs. shouldn't mind giving one, in fact, patients are encouraged to call and ask for an appt, saying you would like to see so and so for the purpose of a second opinion. Oftimes for surgery, or to confirm a diagnosis, or for a disability appeal. I would just be selective in the labs and paperwork you take, to keep it short and sweet, to make it as quick and easy as possible for the 2nd dr. to form an opinion. I am pretty sure many insurance plans will pay for a second opionion, or even insist on it. Calling the number on your insurance card should get you the answer according to your coverage. (I encourage everyone to build a notebook and ask/demand/require/insist on copies of everything important). Drs. and offices are getting used to this, it is the age of HMO care...if your primary dr. is one you like and trust, ask them to recommend someone to give you a 2nd opinion. A decent and up to date dr. should not be offended. A good way to find a specialist in any disease is to find a city with a big research/university teaching hospital, and network there as if you wanted to find a new dr. Ask where the nearest lupus research center is, try emailing th Lupus Foundation for drs. in the Atlanta area who support it, or have worked with them in the past.
Good luck and why isn't anything simple?????