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Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 2818
   Posted 5/16/2010 8:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Well the good news is I am feeling better the bad news is that I am really batteling depression. I have to wear this stupid oxygen tube everywhere even in the shower. I wear it to go out side to the trash, I take it off long enough to put my makeup on. I have another appt in september with my transplant team and I don't know if I will be any worse then before. I know that sounds dumb but if I'm not worse I can't get a transplant. I just keep waiting. I feel like life is passing me by. I don't really go anywhere or do anything. I mean people know I'm sick and probably can't do what they are doing now that summer is here. I'm finding myself hoping the sun will go down so another day will be over.
nexium,temazepam,predisone,plaquenil,propanalol,citracal,pottasium, vitB12 ,iron,xopenex,advair,spirivia,soma,Vitamin D, cybalta
Dx lupus, scleroderma, pos. fibro, high blood pressure. COPD, need left lung transplant. cervical cancer survivor, osteoporsis.
"Consider it a pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." - James 1:2&3

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2570
   Posted 5/17/2010 9:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Carol, you have been through so much that it's surprising that you haven't written this post before. I urge you to call your doctor and talk to her about it. I know that there are counseling services in OKC that do not charge and I wonder if you could find something like that in Enid. Or does your insurance cover counseling services. My phone dead but I'll call you when it's back on. always sick is right about antidepressants, but they don't cure everything. Ask your doctor to send you to a psychiatrist to find out what's best for you. Take care sweetie.
SLE, fibro, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines, costocondritis.

plaquenil, neurontin, synthroid, triamterene, actonel, niaspan, lunesta, cymbalta, vitamin D, Calcium, Multi Vit.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1531
   Posted 5/17/2010 11:30 AM (GMT -6)   
(((Carol))) Depression can be so awful.  For me, depression was the first symptom of lupus although I didn't know it at the time. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for 7 years. My current meds are prozac, klonopin, buspar, wellbutrin, neurontin, seroquel and ambien. I recently asked my psychiatrist if I could taper some meds and he said no. He was right. I wasn't ready. 
I seriously think you should either start taking anti-ds or get a med change. Without a good mind set, you can't even think of all the fun things you can do at home. Everything seem like a burden and getting out of bed is a real effort (why should you right?) A few years ago I spent all my free time thinking about how to kill myself. It's a very sad, lonely place to be. Recently I had a major depressive episode for a few months, but thanks to my psychiatrist I only had fleeting thoughts of suicide. For me, life is so much better with the meds. Think it over. You are a part of our lives. I sure don't want you to check out early. I love you Sweetie. Donna 
Systemic Lupus ('05), depression, fibro, sjogrens, cns issues, diabetes, gerd, hypertension, colitis, stage 1 kidney disease  Lots of meds.  Donna 

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 5/17/2010 11:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Sweet Carol, know that we all love you and pray for you always. Please take care of yourself and try to something nice for yourself now and then. It's so hard to know that someone as sweet as you is suffering so much. Bless you.


Taking plaquenil, atenelol,  Flexeril, Claritin, Zantac ,Trazadone, Ambien, Prednisone 5mg, super B complex, multi- vitamin, folic acid, 15mg er morphine twice a day and Lortab 10 3-4 times a day, Imitrex for migraines.  Allergic to all NSAID's and Ultram.   Mom of 2 boys 2 1/2 and 7.  Symptoms: Fatigue, joint pain and swelling,Raynauds,numbness,tingling,weakness, heat/sun sensitivity, mouth and nose sores, malar rash, migraines, awful hives, positive ANA, with speckled pattern, positive RF, negative anti-DSDNA, and positive for Sjorgen's Syndrome.



Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 5/18/2010 12:11 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Depression hurts. I've had clinical depression since I was 19. Been on several different meds for it, but my current one is Celexa. I've been on it for 5 years. It has done wonders for me! Lexapro is a derivative of celexa and works exactly the same way without the side effects. I tried to switch to it about 2 years ago, but I started flipping out, so the doctor put me back on celexa. It just works better for me. I pray that you find the strength and determination to keep going. When you're depressed it is extremely hard to even breathe in and out at times. I hope all goes well with your transplant. Hang in there and remember that this is all temporary. Chin up, sweetie. MUAH!
Jessica, diagnosis: unsure

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1469
   Posted 5/18/2010 3:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh Carol!!! You have been through so much and I agree with Pat, I am very supprised this hasn't come up before! You are such a strong woman and you are so encouraging to all of the new members as well as the older members! It takes a very special person to be able to do that and to always find a way to make everyone laugh, even when they are so scared about their issues.

I hope you have called your doctor or will call your doctor and let them know how you are feeling. If your doctor isnt in town, please at least talk to the nurse or even your nurse that comes to your house. Maybe they will have some ideas of things that will make you feel better! Please know you can call me or email me whenever you need to talk

Love you Carol!!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2244
   Posted 5/19/2010 12:20 PM (GMT -6)   
((((( Carol )))))) you have been through so much, it was bound to happen. You are such a strong woman and such an inspiration to me, even when you're down you can always make me smile or laugh. I hope you have talked to your doctor and he is able to help you through this. Hang in there my friend and remember you are always in my thoughts and prayers! I am here for you! Love you
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding ~ Proverbs 3:5 ~

DX: Lupus, Sjogrens, Raynaud's, Hashimoto's and Celiac Disease
RX: Imuran, Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Flexeril, Piroxicam, Levoxyl, Folic Acid and Tramadol (as needed) and magic mouthwash ( as needed for mouth sores)

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