UCTD is the diagnostic label they use when you don't fit into any category very neatly. It's actually quite common. I meet the diagnostic criteria for RA, and that is my official dx, but I do not have RA (rheumy agrees). I most likely still have UCTD. The good news about UCTD is that the research shows that if you still have UCTD after five years (meaning it hasn't evolved into a more defined connective tissues disease like RA, SLE, or Scleroderma), chances are it won't. I was very fortunate in that I got into see a rheumy early and whatever the heck is wrong with me, I'm being treated for it. Most of us do not fit into a nice, neat little box. It always shocks me when I encounter a doctor that expects that we should.
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((Hugs)) It sounds like this new rheumy will try to help you get on the right treatment plan to help you feel better.
I think most of us can relate to how our diseases could effect our children. You have a very special son and I'm sure it is hard not to feel guilty, but of course its not your fault. We never know what God has in store for us, but I'm sure he knew you would you would be a wonderful, loving, caring mother and blessed your family in a special way.
Hang in there and take care. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love and hugs, Babs