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Well I talked to the Radiology department today that will be doing my biopsy and am freaking out more now as the sedation will not be quite as deep sedation as I had the last time. I have called my GI doc for a script for some Ativan that I can take prior to the actual procedure to hopefully get my anxiety under control. They called today to get all the pretesting questions answered and told me I will be getting Versed and Fentanyl but not as much as I usually get for procedures. Hopefully, the GI doc will let me have the Ativan as well. I've been crying off and on all day today and many times wanted to pick up the phone and call my Mom but didn't want to "burden" her. I knew I could some here and tell everyone I'm scared to death and very anxious about this now that I know I will not be knocked out completely. I took a Xanax and a Lunesta at 3:30 this afternoon (usually take at about 9:00 at night) but am hoping by the time I get done working at 4:30 it will kick in (thankfully I work from home and my bed is 5 feet from where I work) and I sleep the afternoon and evening away and keep my mind sleeping instead of high anxiety and crying. I know I shouldn't have done this but the only way I know how to cope with the stress and anxiety is by sleeping. I made a comment to my Mom about just sleeping through the next 4 days until the test and she said you can't do that. I'm gonna try as much as possible to do that very thing. It seems all I want to do is lay in bed anyway. This is all very "emotionally" exhausting.
When I read your posts I was crying because of all the compassion and caring and thinking about me that you are all doing. If I didn't have you all to confide in I don't know what I would do. I know, I should talk to my family, but they are worried enough already and I don't want to burden them with my constant crying. Thanks soo much for being here for me. I can't express in words how much the comfort you are providing means to me.
Post Edited (PattyLatty) : 8/3/2007 5:28:58 PM (GMT-6)