Forcast: anxiety, pain and mostly foggy

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Butterflake
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1547
   Posted 8/13/2007 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Everyone.  I saw a neurologist last week and had a brain MRI Saturday.  Besides being in a flare, I continue to have weakness and pain in both legs.  I can't walk a straight line (one foot in front of the other)- not even two steps without falling.  The fog now often progresses to confusion which is scary.  At least a few times a week I have difficulty swallowing food and/or aspirate.  I'm still working full time, but my job performance is dropping (go figure).  I'd love to quit, but my daughter graduates from college in March and we need the money.  I'm fat, overwhelmed, anxious and depressed.  My self esteem is at a low and I think my BF could do much better than me.  My shrink can only do so much.  I've ordered a few lupus/self-help books, but they haven't arrived.  So, dear lupus friends, will you please give me a pep talk?
Dx: SLE diagnosed 2005, major depressive disorder, diabetes, fibromyalgia, gerd, sleep apnea, hypertension, IBS
Tx: plaquenil, methotrexate, Imuran, prednisone 10mg, flexeril, prozac,  celebrex, lisinopril, actos, lipitor, nexeum, seroquel, arthritis tylenol  PRN: ambien, neurontin, promethazine, xanax
supplements: multi vitamin, C, flaxseed oil, calcium/D
             Better living through chemistry :D    Donna
 


sharentrials
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 261
   Posted 8/13/2007 6:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Butterflake. It sounds like you need a hug! I'm SO sorry you're having such a rough time. Have you added any new meds that might be contributing? If this continues, it might be a good idea just to let your rheumy know what's going on with you. They might have an idea or be able to help. I'll say a prayer for you and send lots of well wishes your way! Please take it as easy as you can. I cannot imagine trying to work while enduring what you're dealing with. Continue to let us know how you do.
Always looking for the silver lining, Sharen

SLE '06, Sjogren's '06, Traumatic Head Injury '94
Prednisone 10mg and tapering, Caltrate 1200mg, Multi-vitamin, Prevacid 30 mg, Actonel 35mg


cured4real?
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1944
   Posted 8/13/2007 8:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi butterflake, sorry you are down. Have they checked your thyroid? I can't swallow when it gets bad and have actual permanent nerve damage from hashimotos autoimmune thyroid. I've had trouble walking before and even found out it causes osteoarthritis. Well, as for cheering up, you are so lucky that you got your daughter through college. You must be so proud. I'm having such a time with my son, he has epilepsy and his mind is like swiss cheese sometimes and he thinks so differently from the norm sometimes. But he's really funny, one time, he decided to make mac and cheese and he was down in the kitchen and I was upstairs and he kept yelling at me, asking me questions. So I nursed him through finding a pan, how much water to put in it, etc. and then he asked me "how do you know when the noodles are done?" I told him, "you take one out and taste it." So a little while goes by and he yells at me and says, "I tasted the noodle." I asked, "is it done,is it soft enough?" and he said, "Yeah, but when do I put the rest of the noodles in?"

He cooked one noodle. I'm sorry I couldn't come up with anything better, my mind is a terrible waste right now. I hope you feel better and that they get this stuff figured out, it sounds very frightening. I will send you peaceful, happy thoughts your way.
Love, Marji
--Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of whom they know nothing.--Voltaire (1694-1778)
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus-like AI Disease, Hashis, Vitiligo, spinal stenosis/fusion with plate, salivary/lymphectomies, Diabetes, NAFLD, COPD, RLS, neuropathy, trigonitis, hystero, diffuse brain atrophy
Meds--Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, Estradiol patch, Prosed, Klonopin, Soma, Ultram, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol,steroid injections, Protopic & Triamcinolone Acetonide ointments


Audrey Ann
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 815
   Posted 8/13/2007 8:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Butterflake! ((((((Many, Many, Many HUGS For You!))))))

I will keep you in my prayers. You can only take on one thing at a time. Do your best in all you do and that will just have to suffice! You are a good person and have much to offer this world. Be proud of that and keep your head high. With the help of the Lord you can MOVE MOUNTAINS!

Love Ya!
Audrey Ann
Diagnosis: Lupus and RA
Medications: Plaquenil (400 mg), RelafenMethotrexate Injections, Folic Acid, Aldactizide for High Blood Pressure, Lipitor for High Cholesterol, Actonel for Osteopenia, and Allegra & Patonel Eye Drops for Allergies.


 


PattyLatty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2570
   Posted 8/13/2007 11:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Donna,

I'm so sorry you're in such a slump. sad Have you gotten the results of your MRI? What did the neurologist have to say about the weakness and pain in your legs? Not being able to walk in a straight line can be caused by weakness or a neurological problem. Hopefully he'll be able to give you a diagosis and help you.

While I can't give you a diagnosis, I can give you moral support and understanding. I do know what it feels like to be overweight, sick, sick and tired of being sick, and depressed. I have a therapist who helps me. If yours isn't helping, would you consider trying someone else? In a relationship with one's counselor it's important to feel that they are on your side and if you don't feel like it's helping, I'd look and look till I found someone who could help. They are rare, but they're out there.

Just know that you're important to us and that we're all on your side and we're rooting for you.

Keep your chin up Donna, and keep coming here to vent.

I'm sending lots and lots of ((((((hugs))))))) your way.

Love,

Pat
Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Sjogren's, osteoarthritis, fibro, ibs, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines.
cellcept, neurontin, prednisone, plaquenil, synthroid, triamterene, tramadol, actonel, tri-est, imitrex, cymbalta, multivitamin, calcium w vit D, fish oil, aspirin


Butterflake
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1547
   Posted 8/14/2007 5:17 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Sharen, Marji, Audrey Ann and Pat.  Thank you so much for the encouraging words.  Marji, you made me LOL.  My daughter, Tory, attends Le Cordon Bleu and is currently top in her class. My grandfather was a chef and Tory is very talented.  She completes her classes in December then goes on an externship for 3-4 months.  She been accepted at Disney World and a restaurant in Bath, England as possible externships.  Of course thinking about her cheers me up.  As for me, I go back to the neurologist on Sept 17 for results.  My rheumy referred me to the neurologist and they are ruling out myasthenia gravis which is also autoimmune. Pat, I don't have a therapist, but I think you're right that I need one.  I see a nurse practitioner at my psychiatrist's office and she's excellent at prescribing meds according to my mood, history, etc., but she's not a therapist. Thanks again ladies.

Love,

Donna 


Dx: SLE diagnosed 2005, major depressive disorder, diabetes, fibromyalgia, gerd, sleep apnea, hypertension, IBS
Tx: plaquenil, methotrexate, Imuran, prednisone 10mg, flexeril, prozac,  celebrex, lisinopril, actos, lipitor, nexeum, seroquel, arthritis tylenol  PRN: ambien, neurontin, promethazine, xanax
supplements: multi vitamin, C, flaxseed oil, calcium/D
             Better living through chemistry :D    Donna
 


hippimom2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 5403
   Posted 8/14/2007 7:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Donna, first of all let me give you lots and lots of ((((hugs)))). I just feel really bad that you are going though this and that your symptoms have gotten so bad. I really hope the neurologist can get to the bottom of things for you and that the MRI will give some answers as to what is causing all of your symptoms.

Is it possible to take some time off of work? A lot of times a doc can write a release from work and most work places have short term and long term disability if you have to take time off due to medical reasons.

I'm not sure how much of a pep talk I can give, but I sure can relate to the feeling fat, anxious and having no self esteem. I was talking to one of my friends yesterday and was saying I can't for the life of me figure out how my husband can find me even remotely attractive since I am regularly horrified at what I see in the mirror. I think the people who love us can see way beyond this disease and what it has done to us. I do know that my husband loves me and for some crazy reason he still finds me attractive. I think the saying that love is blind is partly true.

I just want to tell you what a great person you are and how much I enjoy having you on the forum. I love your sense of humor and you have also helped to pick a lot of people up with your humor and also with your kindness. I hope you can see all the wonderful things about yourself that everyone else can see.

That's amazing news about your daughter - those are some pretty big accomplishents.

Please let us know about the results of your MRI. Waiting can be so hard and I hope you find out soon. In the meantime, take good care of yourself.

Love and hugs
Diagnosis:  UCTD (lupus) 2006; Raynauds 2006; Sjogren's 2006; lupus symptoms began 2003; CFS 1991; Mono 1985
Meds:  Plaquenil 400mg; Prednisone 5-10mg; Tramadol 100mg 3-4x daily; Amitriptyline 25mg; Neurontin 200mg; Prevacid; Steriod Cream and Mouth Rinse for tongue and mouth ulcers; Hydrocodone 5/500 prn for severe pain; Restasis eye drops

 

Clickable:  LUPUS INFORMATION & LUPUS RESOURCES.

Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

 

Co-Moderator: Lupus and CFS Forums



Butterflake
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1547
   Posted 8/14/2007 5:49 PM (GMT -7)   

Hippi that is such a warm, uplifting reply.  I can't thank you enough.  I do have some good news though.  My boss told me today that if I want to work from home she will back me 100%.  Anyway, I need to get some sleep.  Thanks for the hugs!!

Love,

Donna


Dx: SLE diagnosed 2005, major depressive disorder, diabetes, fibromyalgia, gerd, sleep apnea, hypertension, IBS
Tx: plaquenil, methotrexate, Imuran, prednisone 10mg, flexeril, prozac,  celebrex, lisinopril, actos, lipitor, nexeum, seroquel, arthritis tylenol  PRN: ambien, neurontin, promethazine, xanax
supplements: multi vitamin, C, flaxseed oil, calcium/D
             Better living through chemistry :D    Donna
 


emmi
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 8/14/2007 9:56 PM (GMT -7)   
oh my dear butterflake,

you are the leader of the nutcases of the forum. Whatever would we do without you??? Your daughter may be the rising star of the culinary world (and you should take all the credit for this), but does she know about her mother's twisted sense of humor that keeps so very many of us on this forum uplifted and ROFLOL???

And now just think, dear butterflake, you have the chance to work at home with the blessing of your boss. The world is now your oyster! No need to make yourself presentable for the outside world. It has to come to you on your terms! It can also work for you as far as the self esteem issues go. It gives you more time to practice in front of the mirror i.e.: which pose make me look slimmer? hair this way or that way to disguise the breakout? ok, fine, I'll do some yoga with the wierdo on TV but I'm NOT looking in the mirror for this one; which smile makes my chins look fewer? I think you get the idea.

As far as the mri goes, mine are abnormal, which probably explains the above reply and the fact why I can't walk a straight line toe to toe. But the neuro asks me to do this every visit seems a little stupid to me since the result is the same every time. And my balance is just getting worse and worse....I feel backward into a man in the elevator at the hospital clinic on Monday. Another man in the elevator asked what I had in my hot tea; my sister and I could only laugh like ***e$. Just prior to getting on the elevator, I had taken a sip of my tea; it was so hot I could only open my mouth and let it fall out. Of course, just then the elevator door opened. That is what started us laughing. (This was in the parking garage. I go to a clinic in a large city hospital) Yes, I am a very attractive middle aged, together woman who does very appealing things. And all of this took place after I had a basal cell skin cancer removed from my arm so one upper arm was totally numb and useless.

and right now I am totally numb brained and useless. Off to bed with me again. I have been doing a lot of being useless today. Feel better, sweet Donna. You are a wonderful person. I have been married for decades and still wonder if my dh won't get disgusted by the physical changes the diseases have made in me (mine are more from scleroderma). I think we all have our times of feeling like we've "let people down" because we have a chronic illness. It's faulty thinking because we certainly did not ask for an illness. A therapist is a great idea. I want to find another one myslef. I fired my last one. It felt rather good. Now the work of starting over. but it's worth it!

Hugs and love to you!
xoxo emmie
</FONT>

SLE, limited scleroderma, Sjogrens, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, seizure disorder, Raynauds, Hashimoto's (or Autoimmune) Enchephalopathy


Butterflake
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1547
   Posted 8/16/2007 5:14 AM (GMT -7)   

Emmi, as usual you made me laugh.  So, if I keep my chin up, will it appear that I have fewer chins?  Because I'm 5 feet tall, I spend my life with my chin up...just so I can see who I'm talking to.  Of course since I'm short, I'm the first to notice when someone's fly is unzipped and then I decide if I should tell them or let them suffer devil   My wicked ways will surely be my demise, heh, heh.

BTW, not only is my daughter aware of my twisted sense of humor, she inherited it!  When we're together we play off each others jokes and that certainly makes life pure joy.  My BF is a wonderfully nerdy, handsome statistician who has a dry, sarcastic wit so I bought him a tee shirt that says, "Sarcasim, just one more service I offer."  He wears it to work.

Well Aunti Em, I received three of my self-help books, so let me choose the book with the best mantra, click my heels together 3 times and thank every one of you on the forum for all the things you do to help make our lives (my life) better. 

I love you all.

Butterflake


Dx: SLE diagnosed 2005, major depressive disorder, diabetes, fibromyalgia, gerd, sleep apnea, hypertension, IBS
Tx: plaquenil, methotrexate, Imuran, prednisone 10mg, flexeril, prozac,  celebrex, lisinopril, actos, lipitor, nexeum, seroquel, arthritis tylenol  PRN: ambien, neurontin, promethazine, xanax
supplements: multi vitamin, C, flaxseed oil, calcium/D
             Better living through chemistry :D    Donna
 

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