My son hasn't been home in a week--worried

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cured4real?
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1944
   Posted 11/4/2007 8:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all--
I just don't know how to handle this.  My son hasn't been home for a week and my bf stops at his usual places to give him rides home and he's not there, even his best friend hasn't seen him since Friday, but did say on Friday that my son said he was going to come home this weekend.  I don't know where he is he has no money, no phone, no clothes, I don't even know if he has his medicine.  He is not in jail or the hospital.  I'm really afraid.  I've tried to explain to the docs that mentally he isn't all there, he will come back in tatters, dirty and a mess, doesn't eat, can't take care of himself, usually has anything of value on him robbed.  I just don't know what he did or where he is.  He doesn't make good decisions.  I've tried to explain that, but they keep telling me that its just him being a teenager, but he's not normal.  Most normal teenagers would take something with them, come home for money, take their car!  His epilepsy is in a decision making part of his brain, and he has ADHD which makes him impulsive if he doesn't take his ADHD med and he makes really bad decisions and thinks very poorly without it.  I'm past worried.  My heart is breaking.  He's not sick enough to be in a halfway house (we don't have any here anyway) and he's not well enough to be on his own completely and comply.  He blew off his neurologist, this is the second one now that will no longer treat him due to missed appointments.  I just don't know what to do.  I just want him to come home so I can make sure he is alright.  I'm so scared for him.  Usually he comes home or is with his good friend, instead, he just took off with someone his friend didn't even know that my son didn't even know and was gone before his friend could stop them.  I'm sorry this is off topic.  I'm trying to act brave but he's got me totally beaten down.  I just am so afraid for him.
Love, Marji
--Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of whom they know nothing.--Voltaire (1694-1778)
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus-like AI Disease, Hashis, Vitiligo, spinal stenosis/fusion with plate, salivary/lymphectomies, Diabetes, NAFLD, COPD, RLS, neuropathy, trigonitis, hystero, diffuse brain atrophy
Meds--Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, Estradiol patch, Prosed, Klonopin, Soma, Ultram, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol,steroid injections, Protopic & Triamcinolone Acetonide ointments


AlwaysRosie
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 11/4/2007 9:20 PM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((Marji)))))))))))

I'll be saying prayers of protection over your son Marji. I'm so sorry he is having such a hard time. What a frightening event. I hope you'll keep us updated sis. Sending hot tea too!!

Hugs and blessings!

In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum

UCTD, Hashimotos, Inflammatory Bowel, Inflammatory Arthritis

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cured4real?
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1944
   Posted 11/4/2007 9:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Rosie, so much for the kind words and tea, which I'm drinking. You know because we've talked before, part of my distress is I'm not used to this "breaking away" business and it just seems that my son is making bad decisiions, but they are HIS decisions and I can't make them for him. I talked to my older son who I don't live with and he has been on his own for a while and he said "guys do that, not even coming home for clothes or anything, especially if there is a girl involved". It made me feel better, to know that he can come through this. The medication issue concerns me, but he has been good in the past about taking at least his epilepsy meds because he says he's addicted to it now and feels like crap when he doesn't take it, so hopefully he has it in his pocket. Thank you so much for your prayers. I can't tell if this is normal or crazy behavior anymore. I was a wild one, but I wasn't any where near this. I hope he comes home tomorrow, if just for a hug and kiss and some clean clothes and good food. My older son told me not to worry, he's just being a teenager, an irresponsible one, but a teenager. I feel better talking to him. You know, I don't mind letting go as long as I know he's ok and going to make it, not this taking off stuff. I can only give this to God and hope that he at least calls to let us know he is alright.
Love, Marji
--Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of whom they know nothing.--Voltaire (1694-1778)
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus-like AI Disease, Hashis, Vitiligo, spinal stenosis/fusion with plate, salivary/lymphectomies, Diabetes, NAFLD, COPD, RLS, neuropathy, trigonitis, hystero, diffuse brain atrophy
Meds--Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, Estradiol patch, Prosed, Klonopin, Soma, Ultram, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol,steroid injections, Protopic & Triamcinolone Acetonide ointments


AlwaysRosie
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 11/4/2007 10:02 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree that young adults do some crazy stuff and I know they usually land on their feet. Its just really hard while you are holding your breath, waiting for good news. If he carries a cell phone you may be able to have him tracked that way because they have GPS capabilities now.

Will be thinking about you and your son.

Blessings!

In His Grip

AlwaysRosie           "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"

Psalms 139

Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum

UCTD, Hashimotos, Inflammatory Bowel, Inflammatory Arthritis

Clickable Links:  Lupus Resources    Lupous.Org   Lupus Criteria (4 of 11)   Lupus Chapter Locator


Ginny
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 11/4/2007 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Marji
 
((((hugs)))) coming your way.  This isn't good.  Have you thought about contacting the police?  Missing persons.... I know it sounds extreme, but if he's got severe medical issues, he needs help right away.  I like Rosie's suggestion about a cell phone and tracking it.  Any way to track his spending?  Bank card, etc?  Find out where he is.
 
I'll keep you all in my prayers.  Please let us know if you hear anything okay.
 
Ginny
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in,to be content. Phillipians 4:11-13

33 years old. Diagnosed with lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke),Sjogren's, Raynaud's, seizure disorder-(miraclulously disappeared!), Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, neutropenia, thrombocytopenia. Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, didrocal, monopril, calcium, Cykolokapron, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus


cured4real?
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1944
   Posted 11/4/2007 10:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Ginny and Rosie--
He doesn't have his cell with him. He has a prepaid cell and ran out of minutes and so didn't take it with him. He doesn't have a bank card and only had twenty bucks when he left. He was at his best friend's house for a while but took off Friday with some unknown person. I've checked the hospital and jail and have let his friend know how upset I am and he left his stuff at his friends house locked up, so that is good. I just think from past history, this is one of these things I will have to wait out. He probably is chasing a girl or something or is stuck without a ride and doesn't want to call us because he said he had told his friend to tell us he had a ride home. I know this is considered halloween weekend and he had attended at least one halloween party. The police are no help because he is 19 and an adult, and his friend has no idea even where we could begin to look, but he will return to his friend's house eventually and will need new clothes and money. I was very panicked, but after talking with his brother, I realize that he probably is ok, at least basically ok and will come home when he feels like it and forcing him or chasing him will only make me seem like an obsessed mom who can't let go and it might drive him further away. Ginny, part of me feels like you and part feels like Rosie. I'm so torn. But I've been through this on a smaller scale before ( he was gone for two days before) and everything was ok. If he were sick, there is only one hospital where he could go, and he's not been there and only one jail and police station. He has so far been able to take care of himself as in being mean and able to fight, if in a bad situation, so I just feel the right thing right now for the next day or two is to give him a chance to sober up or whatever and get somewhat presentable and come home. He knows if he has a seizure he loses his license for 6mo to a year, so he is pretty good about his epilepsy medicine. I've talked to a very nice man at the state epilepsy foundation and he is very good at this and this is a problem for many parents because even though he has epilepsy and a heart problem, he is still a teenager and probably more bound and determined to act like one, and you can only hope that they take their meds and try to treat them like a normal teenager, but balance that with practical knowledge of his conditions somehow. I will give him a little more time because of the holiday. I expect he will be home tomorrow evening after school. If not, I will give him one more day and then try to figure out how and where to search.
Love, Marji
--Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of whom they know nothing.--Voltaire (1694-1778)
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus-like AI Disease, Hashis, Vitiligo, spinal stenosis/fusion with plate, salivary/lymphectomies, Diabetes, NAFLD, COPD, RLS, neuropathy, trigonitis, hystero, diffuse brain atrophy
Meds--Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, Estradiol patch, Prosed, Klonopin, Soma, Ultram, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol,steroid injections, Protopic & Triamcinolone Acetonide ointments


ladybug44r
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 831
   Posted 11/5/2007 5:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Marja, how old is your son. I have one that is also ADHD. He is 24 mentally he's about 17 and he does this all the time. I do call the police and give them a pic of what he looks like. He'll stay gone for about 3 days to a week depending on how fast the police find him or don't. Normal people do help them out.

Right now my son is living in a shelter in Louisville, which isn't far from me. His choice. He calls me every other day. I know it's hard but he'll be home.

He used to live up in Indaiana and I called the police there. So you feel better call them and they will keep an eye out for him.

All the hugs in the world that I can give you I'm sending because I know what you are going through and it's not easy being a mom and being sick.

From one mom to another.
Veronica

Gidget^
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 171
   Posted 11/5/2007 5:20 AM (GMT -7)   

Marji,
You have to be beside yourself with worry about your son.  I don't understand, just because he's 19, they won't do anything to try and find him?  If you have not gone down to the police station and spoke to someone face to face, you need to do this.  If you have any medical records that you can take with you this might help in persuading them to look for your son.  Another route to take is to do is call a local tv station, there is usually one reporter that will work on situations that you can't get resolved for one reason or another.  If they look for dementia patients, there is no reason why they shouldn't be out looking for your son.  You're in my thoughts and prayers.

BTW - You shouldn't be apologizing for your post being off topic ... we're here for each other's support system and sounding board. 


Gidget^
 
SLE 9/07, FMS '90's, Spinal Stenosis, Osteoarthritis, Sinus Tach, PVC's, Kidney Stones, RLS, Parotid Neurofibroma 8/04, Cervical Cancer 9/06
Clinoril, Toprol XL, Prozac, Zyrtec-D, Zocor, Vitamins B6 & B12, Folic Acid, Loratab ,Percoset, Toradol
 
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
 
 


Butterflake
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1551
   Posted 11/5/2007 5:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Marji.  Any word about your son?  I'm sending lots of positive energy.  Love, Butterflake

Dx: SLE diagnosed 2005, major depressive disorder, diabetes, fibromyalgia, gerd, sleep apnea (use a CPAP), hypertension, IBS
Tx: plaquenil, methotrexate, Imuran, prednisone, prozac, celebrex, lisinopril, actos, lipitor, nexeum, seroquel, arthritis tylenol  PRN: ambien, neurontin, promethazine, xanax
supplements: multi vitamin, C, flaxseed oil, calcium/D
             Better living through chemistry :D    Donna
 


hippimom2
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Date Joined Jul 2005
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   Posted 11/5/2007 8:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Marji, I just wanted to let you know that you and your son are in my thoughts and I'm praying that he is safe. I can't imagine the worry you must be feeling. This is all more complicated because he has health problems which also affect his thinking and judgement. Hang in there and I hope you hear something soon.

(((((Hugs)))))
Diagnosis:  UCTD (lupus) 2006; Raynauds 2006; Sjogren's 2006; lupus symptoms began 2003; CFS 1991; Mono 1985
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Miss Magnolia
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 95
   Posted 11/5/2007 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   
I am new here but I just read your posts and my heart goes out to you. Your son is in my prayers as are you. You are a Mother, and you don't stop being a Mother or worrying about your children once they turn a certain age.

I know stressing out is not good for your health, but how can you not? This is your child. Many gentle hugs to you dear, and wishing you some good new on your son very soon.

Deb

ladybug44r
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 831
   Posted 11/5/2007 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Marji
Hon let the police know that he has problems. If you just tell them that he's 19 they won't help but let them know that he's on meds and that you don't know if he's got them. Let them know all the things you can about him that will make them go looking.

When I told police that my son is 24 they don't want to do anything but when I tell them his medical history then they help.

Please keep us infromed I wish I could help you more.

Veronica

Gidget^
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 171
   Posted 11/5/2007 7:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Marji,
Just hoping that your son came home. Please post when you can. Hugs.
Gidget^
 
SLE 9/07, FMS '90's, Spinal Stenosis, Osteoarthritis, Sinus Tach, PVC's, Kidney Stones, RLS, Parotid Neurofibroma 8/04, Cervical Cancer 9/06
Clinoril, Toprol XL, Prozac, Zyrtec-D, Zocor, Vitamins B6 & B12, Folic Acid, Loratab ,Percoset, Toradol
 
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
 
 


okie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 2818
   Posted 11/5/2007 7:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Marji, please let us know what you find out. My prayers are with you both.
love
carol
God Bless
Lupus like symptoms, with pbc symptoms,but of course that is subject to change in a moments notice! End Stage COPD w/CHF, Cervical Cancer survivor.  Osteoporosis,osteoarthritis
Prednisone,Plaquanil800mg,vicodin 3x5mg,Evista60mg, Effexor 150mg, HCTZ25/Triamterene37.5mg,Xanax x3 
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you: 1. Jesus Christ 2. The American G. I
 
 
 


cured4real?
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1944
   Posted 11/5/2007 7:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi--
I appreciate the support. Thanks so much. I'm just about ready to flip out. I'm very depressed. Well sorta good news, my son stopped by my bf's work and said he was coming right home. He was with a kid we at least have seen him with before and who has been to the house before. The bad news is that he didn't come right home. The police know my son and they consider him a big pain in the butt and do not care that he has disabilities. They won't baker act him or anything like that anymore. They have no compassion or understanding. The state mental hospital (where they accept indigents) will no longer take him, they say that he has no mental problems, epilepsy is a physical disease and under no circumstances would they ever accept him, they'd rather have him kill himself. They will not ever accept him. They said he is moody and rude. They nearly killed him last time he was there so I know they won't take him because they are afraid they will give him a seizure and he will die. They don't want the liability. The local mental health will not take him because they say that he is non-compliant and they didn't do anything for him, they offer no counselling at all only medicine. The rehab place he went to because he got caught with pot and some aa people did this big intervention, blaming me for his problems, and sent him to will not take him again because they don't like his attitude and a week before release one of the people there cussed him out for not working hard enough and he muttered something under his breath and the guy reported him and they kicked him out a week before a year completion of the program. They will not take him again because of his attitude but also because they don't like having to drive him to the doc every month for his epilepsy and they really didn't get through to him because they are rednecks and fail to understand that my son doesn't understand things like other people or think like other people and lacks the control other people have without mediciation, that he is grumpy and tired alot and cant work as hard (it was like a work camp) and can't be in the sun, but when we told them this, instead of putting him on kp, which he was on part time anyway, they took him off and put him in the sun fulltime. And they wouldn't let him take his ritalin or adderall, so he got in lots of trouble in the military type setting for fidgeting in line and stuff. The did everything they could do to set him up to fail and he has no coping skills anyway and no one will work with him. Its the south here, totally corrupt and incompetent and no one cares. It would take a big angry mob to get anything done here. And my son refuses to go to support groups and associate with anyone with similar problems, he doesn't even like telling anyone. So they figure that if he's going to pretend he's normal, he's going to be treated like it. I've thrown up my hands. Everything I tell him to do, he does the opposite, he makes very bad decisions and his life is going to be a living h*** because he is going to make it that and I can only sit and watch, because if I try to suggest another way to be, he moves twice as hard in the opposite direction. I'm really mad at my bf for not calling me and making him stay there till I came and got him. I'm disgusted with law enforcement and the court system down here, as well as with the mental health system. Quality of care is great if you are from the right redneck family, but if you are not, people down here can make life really hard. The police and courts refuse to punish the real criminals because they know them and do drugs with them. And not just the police, judges as well. Its real small town. We have a lot of murders, but you will never see one in the paper. I can only pray that my son is ok at this point. I don't know if he's in trouble or what, but its really not like him to be away this long. I just wish my bf would have called so I could have at least talked to him on the phone or come and got him. My son needs another advocate besides me and my bf is useless, he tries but they don't listen to him any more than me. We are nobodies. The rest of my family is too busy to help him.
Love, Marji
--Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of whom they know nothing.--Voltaire (1694-1778)
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus-like AI Disease, Hashis, Vitiligo, spinal stenosis/fusion with plate, salivary/lymphectomies, Diabetes, NAFLD, COPD, RLS, neuropathy, trigonitis, hystero, diffuse brain atrophy
Meds--Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, Estradiol patch, Prosed, Klonopin, Soma, Ultram, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol,steroid injections, Protopic & Triamcinolone Acetonide ointments


mom46
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 8198
   Posted 11/5/2007 7:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Marji,
  My heart goes out to you....(((Hugs))). I just can't imagine what your going through. I hope your son comes home soon. I know your bf saw him but, I'm sure you need to see or at least talk to him yourself to ease your mind.
  I know what you mean about the small towns in the south...I'm from one too! If you know the right person, you can get away with anything!
  Know that you and your son are in my thoughts and prayers. Please try to rest and update us when find out anything.
                                                          Babs
 
Dx: Lupus,RLS,RA,Asthma,Fibro,Sjogren's,Raynaud's,Divertic, Stroke,Atherosclerosis,Seizures,Neuropathy,CAD
Meds:Methotrexate,plavix,aspirin,protonix,,zanaflex,xanax,
mirapex,advair,foxamax,Vytorin,folic acid,prednisone,lunesta,Chantrix,Tramadol,Nitro.
 
JOB 5:18 For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.


cured4real?
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1944
   Posted 11/5/2007 8:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, Babs. You always make me feel better and know the right things to say and always seem to understand. It is hard for us here and my son isn't the easiest person to deal with at times, but he's a good kid inside and just a scared kid trying to act fine with a heart monitor in his chest and memory lapses and all. I feel so much for him. But the more I try these days, the worse the outcome. I don't know what to do but step back. What I would have given for a hug from him though!
Love, Marji
--Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of whom they know nothing.--Voltaire (1694-1778)
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus-like AI Disease, Hashis, Vitiligo, spinal stenosis/fusion with plate, salivary/lymphectomies, Diabetes, NAFLD, COPD, RLS, neuropathy, trigonitis, hystero, diffuse brain atrophy
Meds--Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, Estradiol patch, Prosed, Klonopin, Soma, Ultram, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol,steroid injections, Protopic & Triamcinolone Acetonide ointments


okie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 2818
   Posted 11/7/2007 5:21 AM (GMT -7)   

Marji, Please let us know the latest re: you son. I hope h has made it home and you are able to get some rest.

love

carol


God Bless
Lupus like symptoms, with pbc symptoms,but of course that is subject to change in a moments notice! End Stage COPD w/CHF, Cervical Cancer survivor.  Osteoporosis,osteoarthritis
Prednisone,Plaquanil800mg,vicodin 3x5mg,Evista60mg, Effexor 150mg, HCTZ25/Triamterene37.5mg,Xanax x3 
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you: 1. Jesus Christ 2. The American G. I
 
 
 


cured4real?
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1944
   Posted 11/7/2007 10:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi-
Well, my bf saw my son in a car with his friend and my bf honked, flashed the lights, and pulled over, but they just sped off. We think he is staying about 30 miles away, but don't know where and don't know much about this friend (he met him at college). My bf got mad and told my son't friend that we (no--me--I am so mad) were going to call the police and now we've lost communication. He must be doing something he shouldn't be and all the wishing in the world won't bring him back. He's got important stuff to do and has dropped out of college and I suppose is working, so I imagine he feels I'm really going to chew him out about that. I don't know. Like I said, he makes very bad decisions and his thought processes are not logical or normal. It's possible they were in their own little world and didn't see my bf, but he did promise to come home for the millionth time recently. Thanks for your concern. The worry has turned into anger which has turned into numbness, and right now I feel so lousy I just don't care anymore. He is alive and living his life the way he wants to. He's burnt every bridge in our family and with some friends because of this kind of stuff. He's probably burnt bridges at school and with his doctors too. He just doesn't get it. You have to consider other people's feelings once in a while at least. It's like his brain is not mature enough for that, at least not before he acts, classic untreated ADHD.
Love, Marji
--Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of whom they know nothing.--Voltaire (1694-1778)
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus-like AI Disease, Hashis, Vitiligo, spinal stenosis/fusion with plate, salivary/lymphectomies, Diabetes, NAFLD, COPD, RLS, neuropathy, trigonitis, hystero, diffuse brain atrophy
Meds--Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, Estradiol patch, Prosed, Klonopin, Soma, Ultram, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol,steroid injections, Protopic & Triamcinolone Acetonide ointments


ladybug44r
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 831
   Posted 11/7/2007 4:31 PM (GMT -7)   
My heart goes out to you and your family. JUst keep lovimng and he'll come home with tail between his legs. At least if he's anything like my son. He too has ADHD and won't take anything for it. My ex husband got him off his meds. Which I could kick him and myself for.

Lots of (((((((((( hugs))))))))

Veronica

cured4real?
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1944
   Posted 11/7/2007 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I hope so. We found out that they accidentally put out a warrant on him for some old charge of underage drinking (one beer) and we had settled it and paid the fine and they never sent us a notice of court date and then put out a warrant for failure to appear. When I found all this out, his disappearance made a little more sense in a really bad decision kind of way, and I called the courthouse and they are working to fix the mess but he has to come in himself, really they legally aren't even supposed to talk to me. And he won't call or anything so what started as a mistake may end up turning into something serious because of his handling of the problem. And they say he has no mental issues. I found all this out from my bf recently. I can make it go away because it is an honest to goodness mistake, but the judge will want to know where my son is to clear it up. And I honestly don't know. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse. AT least it explains some of his behavior.
Love, Marji
--Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of whom they know nothing.--Voltaire (1694-1778)
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus-like AI Disease, Hashis, Vitiligo, spinal stenosis/fusion with plate, salivary/lymphectomies, Diabetes, NAFLD, COPD, RLS, neuropathy, trigonitis, hystero, diffuse brain atrophy
Meds--Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, Estradiol patch, Prosed, Klonopin, Soma, Ultram, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol,steroid injections, Protopic & Triamcinolone Acetonide ointments


redrose77
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Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 2573
   Posted 11/8/2007 4:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I hope he decides to come home soon. It seems his irresponsible behavior would qualify him as unable to care for himself. Seriously I would consider relocating. I left the south because they almost killed me and allowed my son to die because they didn't care enough to find out what was wrong. I hate areas like the one you live in. It took a lot to relocate but it has been so much better since we did. Even if your boyfriend won't relocate you would still get better care elsewhere and maybe get help for your son. You may have to allow him to burn his own bridges and ruin his life in the short term in order for him to get help.
Dx:fibromyalgia 2002, systematic lupus 2005, rheumatoid arthritis 2006, PTSD 2007, multiple allergies 2005, migraine, compression fractures T11 & T12, Sjögren's, pregnant due May 2008
Tx: plaquenil, Enbrel, Celebrex, Darvocet, Singulair, Flexeril, Baby Asprin,Prednisone


cured4real?
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1944
   Posted 11/8/2007 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks redrose, HE'S HOME!!! He came home last night and tonight. Now he wants to move out and quit school and live with another "buddie" and his girlfriend and her kids in another poor area. He was thinking he would take his car my dad is selling him and I have registered in my name and have paid insurance on and take it with him. I told him he had to reregister it and get his own insurance before he leaves with it. Really, he should finish paying off my dad, but I will leave that between them. He is so niave. He wants to quit school, get a crap job, so he has money to go to the mall and movies and drink and do whatever else he shouldn't be doing. I got him straightened out at the courthouse, they really screwed up and at least he isn't "wanted". Part of me just knows this is the beginning of a bad thing, quitting school and just scraping by with other goof offs like him. He said school is too hard, he doesn't understand what the professors say, its a load of crap, he just doesn't want to. I don't know. I see my bright and shiny boy that was so proud of his great grades and was so smart and responsible and proud of going to school just feeling like his life is over and there is nothing more for him than work, inebriation, and others to keep him on the path. If he moves out, I'm like stuck holding the bag, in a place I don't care to live in alone more or less, far from my old friends and other family, just sitting here for what reason? I don't know. My older son is so far away, in mass. and I never see him. Sometimes I dream I lived nearby and we would meet and have coffee once in a while. I just hate this. All I ever wanted was family and mine is just shattered to bits. I am so jealous of people who have their family around them, they don't know how lucky they really are. Thank you so much for understanding. I do have good docs here, by a stroke of luck because they aren't from here. And soon my area will be overtaken by northerners so it may seem like home someday. I shouldn't complain. I have a great place to live that is cheap and I dont have to worry about someone raising the rent or anything. The holidays are always hard on me. I hope you are doing ok. I hate how they start christmas earlier every year. I don't know what my son will do. I think his friends just want more money and a babysitter for the kids. I don't think my son will be ok there. He misses his doctor appts and his attitude is that "if I miss them, oh well, I'm doing the best I can" but he isn't really. He could have more help.

Now, I miss the midwest so so bad, but it has gotten expensive to live there and the winters are cold. But still, I dream of going back so much. If I won the lottery, I'd be gone back, my son with me.
Love, Marji
--Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of whom they know nothing.--Voltaire (1694-1778)
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus-like AI Disease, Hashis, Vitiligo, spinal stenosis/fusion with plate, salivary/lymphectomies, Diabetes, NAFLD, COPD, RLS, neuropathy, trigonitis, hystero, diffuse brain atrophy
Meds--Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, Estradiol patch, Prosed, Klonopin, Soma, Ultram, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol,steroid injections, Protopic & Triamcinolone Acetonide ointments


redrose77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 2573
   Posted 11/8/2007 6:58 PM (GMT -7)   
I live in MI and was in the coalfields of VA for a few years. I really hope that you can convince your son not to move in with this kid. I am okay, I hate how they bring Christmas forward every year too. I am 2 hours from my girls and most of my family but the truth is I am only welcome by my girls and grandma. The rest of the family could care less I am alive.
Dx:fibromyalgia 2002, systematic lupus 2005, rheumatoid arthritis 2006, PTSD 2007, multiple allergies 2005, migraine, compression fractures T11 & T12, Sjögren's, pregnant due May 2008
Tx: plaquenil, Enbrel, Celebrex, Darvocet, Singulair, Flexeril, Baby Asprin,Prednisone


mom46
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 8198
   Posted 11/8/2007 7:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Marji,
  I'm glad your son finally came home so you could see for yourself he is okay at least....(((Hugs))). I know this is so hard on you! I will be praying things will turn around soon and he gets back on track. Hang in there and please keep us updated. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
                                                             Babs
 
Dx: Lupus,RLS,RA,Asthma,Fibro,Sjogren's,Raynaud's,Divertic, Stroke,Atherosclerosis,Seizures,Neuropathy,CAD
Meds:Methotrexate,plavix,aspirin,protonix,,zanaflex,xanax,
mirapex,advair,foxamax,Vytorin,folic acid,prednisone,lunesta,Chantrix,Tramadol,Nitro.
 
JOB 5:18 For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.

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