I am depressed...

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stutterbug
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 478
   Posted 1/9/2009 9:46 AM (GMT -6)   
I was lying in bed last night and was overcome with the reality that once again my life has fallen apart. It seems as though I am always starting over.  I will get in somewhat of a routine and something happpens and it all falls apart. since Thanknsgiving, I have had so much pain. My house is a mess, my husband feels unloved, I was in the emergency room on Monday, Problems at work, etc.  I seriously wonder how long I can take this. I am depressed. I guess I just have to start over again. I just dont feel like I have the spirit to do so. I have been in bed for the last 3 days. Partly becasue of the ER thing but mostly because I dont want to be awake.-----For the last 3.5 years I have had terrible , horrible pain in my arms and shoulders. I went through the whole PT, steroids , everything. When I moved to Georgia a doctor hear found that my problem was an upslipped right hip that was throwing my posture off and causing all the pain. I see an osteopath who is slowing moving my hip into place but all my tendons and muscles havent been used properly in I dont know how long, so the pain is incredible. I have been at this rehab. for only about 3 months. I dont know how long it will take. It is all overwhelimng. It never stops. never.

dorit
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 375
   Posted 1/9/2009 10:13 AM (GMT -6)   
stutterbug
please please please don't give up!
I send you all my strength ..... hoping some of it will reach you.
I feel with you and think all the others will too. I had two prolapsed intervertebral disc 5 years ago and since then I for myself have learned the lesson of pain. I know pain can be uncredible. But I believe you will get rid of it. YOU WILL!!! I am so sad that I can do nothing to make your pain just go away.
Are you on painkillers?? do they help you at least a bit ??
I am with you in my thoughts and pray for you! dorit

rvnut
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 1/9/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -6)   
You've gone through some terrible times. It sounds like you may have some hope with your osteopath. Don't give up hope. I'm sure a lot of folks will be praying for you!

nefferdun
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 1/9/2009 4:16 PM (GMT -6)   
I am just depressed - no reason to be - I feel for you. My hip was out for a very long time years ago and I thought it would be a chronic problem. I had it repositioned several times with chiropractors but when I finally corrected the postural problem (which was riding horses) the pain went away permanently. It is a thing of the past. I hope that you can fix yours too. Don't take steriods with lyme.
I have found hyaluronic acid helps a lot with the pains of lyme as it replaces collegen in joints, skin, eyes etc. It is excellent for any joint pain.

stutterbug
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 478
   Posted 1/9/2009 7:09 PM (GMT -6)   
thnks for all of the encouragment. I need to get back on track and do the next right thing, even if I dont feel well. thank you all

hopingToFindCure
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 759
   Posted 1/10/2009 9:59 AM (GMT -6)   
steroid injections have never bother my Lyme Disease, so I take them here and there when appropriate for tendonitis and stiffness.

Mind you steroid injections are only a temporary fix.

You sound like me stutterbug. I need help COPING with this. Am addicted to antibiotics, am way way overweight. Take a slew of supplements. Eat whole garlic cloves. Drink green tea.

Still I feel the same. Blahness.

Not given any hope for much recovery from LLMDs. In fact, the non-LLMD gave me the most hope said most patients recover from the post-Lyme syndrome within five years of the bite.

I can wait. I can wait. But the LLMDs say it never goes away.

Martha's Vineyard
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1119
   Posted 1/18/2009 12:04 PM (GMT -6)   
hey stutter
sorry darling that you are blue. nothing wrong with that. and you are smart to be honest about it and reach out to people who understand and who want to help.
Arfe you being treated for depression? Mine was unreal. I won't go into it. but I was going to be institutionalized. Becuase I could not be trusted alone.
This is due to the lyme and also Bart. Which cause's untreatable depression and panic attacks.
So it is the bug that is making you blue too.
I am a walking pharmacy, but all of my Dr.s wanted to treat every sympton with drugs...hence thank you to all of the hmos...and the new england of med for drugging me out of my mind...
ha...
I was given cymbalta for pain. It helped me walk. And it gave me enegry. It is used by diabetics who are loosing their arms and legs...so if it is good enough for them.
It also helps with the fatique. I do not know if you have bart or not. But if not...then it could help you with the blues too.
it is a hard and long process to get better for most. but you should not have to suffer more than you have to.
2004 in Martha's Vineyard me and my two daughters then 11 mos and 6 all got Lyme Disease. This was only known to us because we found the tiny ticks on us and we got very ill. My dog also got lyme and he went lame.
We have fought it for 4 years to no avail.
We all got it again this summer is Texas.
I am now in treatment in Scottsdale Arizona at Envita.

"The eyes cannot see for for what the mind does not know."


stutterbug
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 478
   Posted 1/18/2009 3:51 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you so much. You are really caring. You know, looking back, I have struggeled with depression my whole life. I was bit when I was 6 and just got diagnosed last year, I am now 34. I think my mind was literally frying from the Lyme. I remember being so young and just filled with rage, lyme rage I now know. Chrinic FAtige was and is a huge symptom of mine. It literally affected every relationship I had. People always mad at me becuase I would not follow through. I was always in bed. So, yes I have a thick history of depression. I am now sure why---the LYME or my crazy mom!!! I am currently taking Cymbalta. My doage was lowered because my Liver was really messed up. It really does help with my neuropathy also.---- I swing in and out of depression. But lately I just feel so bad that it is really getting to me. I want to have a baby sometime but I am coming to the realiztion that it may not be the best thing. I couldnt carry the baby right now anyway with the condition of my arms and shoulders. It just keeps going on and on. I have had it so long that I am shocked that more is not wrong with me. Or maybe more is but I am just use to it. I have trouble distingushing what is painful and what is not. I beleve my tolerance level is different from someone who remembers being well. Know what I mean? anyway, I will carry on. It just felt really good to tell someone else. thank you for talking to me,  amey
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