Lyme/Hiv resemble each other so good

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james from missouri
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 432
   Posted 6/27/2009 8:46 PM (GMT -6)   
just looking at the symptoms and the stuff i'm going through.. they look alike...


symptom checker..

VIEW IMAGE
dizzy
cough
muscle spasms
weak/fatigue
depressed/anxiety
right thumb twitching
floaters
low wbc count
chest rash
wheezing when standing up
can't sleep
night sweats
tickle in throat
loss of food desire
loss of weight
hard to talk normal
suicidal


hiv symptoms which i have

fatigue
little white bumps on back of tongue
chest rash that doesn't go away
night sweats
low wbc count (sign of infections)
loss of sexual desire
thinking about throwing myself off the bridge..



i read somewhere on the net tonight which only added to all my worries, that when infected with bart and are sitting at a dormant state with hiv your symptoms come out 10 fold.. GREAT!!! no wonder why i'm getting sick so quick.. i'm double infected!!!

CajunGrl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 6/27/2009 10:34 PM (GMT -6)   
James,

Please don't take me wrong when I say this but I am worried about you. Maybe you should ask your doctor for some nerve pills. Just to stay calm until you get your results. If you do have Lyme, stressing is not good. Stress will bring out all of your Lyme symptoms.

Also, it's a high white blood cell count that means there is an infection.
2003 symptoms started;panic attacks,anxiety,heightened senses.
2007 Diagnosed with Lyme. Didn't start treatment.
2008 symptoms came back with a vengence.
2009 Diagnosed with Lyme plus co-infections....Babesia and Bartonella.
Illnesses:-Chronic Lyme Disease,Hashimotos Thyroiditis, Ulcers, Hypoglycemia
Medications:-Biaxin 250mg to start,Mepron,Ultram,Thyro Complex 60mg,Probiotics and supplements

Post Edited (CajunGrl) : 6/27/2009 10:59:37 PM (GMT-6)


veromia333
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 674
   Posted 6/27/2009 10:50 PM (GMT -6)   
I thought u tested neg for HIV already. Now HIV tests are accurate are they not?
The line is faded not showing where Lyme came in. I became a new Mommy n my Lyme decided to show itself. Swollen elephant like knee and finger and limiting back pain. Bell's palsey, weight loss as if I had no muscle on my bones anymore. And much more text book lyme symptoms. To a Lyme doc, after alot of there is nothing wrong with you and a recommend to counceling,he said V this is Lyme. What kept me pressing on I had Lyme while I was pregnant. I know I was not infected while pregnant. I am watching her with an eagle eye. God Bless everyone. Love Veronica. Were the ones who know about Lyme not the doctors. Isnt that just mad? Backwards. Alice in wonderland.


Razzle
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4399
   Posted 6/28/2009 12:26 AM (GMT -6)   
A low WBC count can be seen in chronic infections.
-Razzle
Chronic Lyme Disease, Gluten & Sulfite Sensitivity, Many Food/Inhalant/Medication/Chemical Allergies & Intolerances, Asthma, Gut issues (dysmotility, non-specific inflammation), UCTD ("Secondary Lupus-Like Syndrome"), Osteoporosis, Pancytopenia, chronic malabsorption/malnutrition, etc.; G-Tube; Currently TPN-dependent.
Meds:  Zofran, Pulmicort, IV Ceftazidime, Heparin (to flush PICC line), Claritin, Colloidal Silver (used topically), probiotics, homeopathy.


RottenDog
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1013
   Posted 6/28/2009 2:38 AM (GMT -6)   
V yes a HIV test can come back fales pos or neg. odds of it happen are a lot lower then in lyme, but it does happen. you can call your local blood bank to get info on this if you like.

james plz seek medacil help for your suicidal thoughts.like CG said stress can make things worse for you. also i am worried for you.

your in my prayers
   RD
 
still looking for answers.
 
Remember that advice if free, its your choice what you do with it.  :)


james from missouri
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 432
   Posted 6/28/2009 9:35 AM (GMT -6)   
i'm sorry for everyones concern about me, i'm just at the brink of ending myself. literally! i cannot handle it anymore.. it has taken me over..

i'm on the verge of losing my job and my mind. i have every symptom of hiv also. i cannot to begin to deal with knowing for sure i'm positive, the depression will take over and i will end up hurting myself most likely. i will lose everything i worked so hard for..

this is karma, i made some mistakes, and i knew one day i would something would drastically happen to me. and this is it.. the final road to hell.. i'm already in hell.. how much worse can it be?

Jendays247
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 652
   Posted 6/28/2009 10:17 AM (GMT -6)   
James,

I can't speak for anyone else here, but I completely understand your feelings of "this was bound to happen considering what I've done in the past." At least that's what it sounds like, and that's how I feel. I spent years destroying my body. I had no regard for life or death or the people around me. I wanted complete control and I really thought I had it. Well, it landed me in the eating disorders part of the psychiatric ward, in the emergency room drinking charcoal, and I spent most of my teenage years on a couch in my therapists office, at group meetings, and with my head in the toilet. Still, after all of that, I didn't stop. I kept going, and one day, my body started to fight back. Now, here I am. My body makes its own decisions. It's not up to me anymore. I used up all of my control cards, and now I'm powerless.

I have to believe that if we work hard enough, we'll be forgiven and we'll get the power over own lives back...I know it's scary and it never seems like you can imagine yourself better, but if I DIDN'T imagine that, I'd die. I'd have nothing to live for. I read something the other day that said "Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith." Take it, James.

I did.
Current treatment (began June 10th 2009):
Biaxin 1000mg/day, Pulsing Flagyl 500mg/day 1 Week Every Month
 
 

james from missouri
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 432
   Posted 6/28/2009 10:26 AM (GMT -6)   
can someone point me to a leap of faith, i really need it!!


i'm crying as i'm typing this out. i'm so scared for my family

scorpio1960
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 6/28/2009 10:29 AM (GMT -6)   
James, Please listen to me when I tell you that your emotions and feelings of wanting to end it are more than likely being caused by Lyme Disease. Lyme Disease can be treated and you will get better. My llmd has told me many times that Lyme Disease can cause overwhelming desperation. Much of what you are feeling and thinking is what I also experience. I was always a fighter but have some pretty difficult days when I contemplate ending it all also. Please do not let yourself go there.

I am not a doctor but from what you have told us I do not think you have HIV. Your symptoms sounds typical of Lyme Disease which can be treated. Do not lose sight of the fact that you can and will get better.

I apologize if my message seems scrambled. I'm not thinking too clearly right now but wanted to reach out to you because I understand how you are feeling and hate to think of you hurting this way. Please speak to your doctor about how you feel.

I promise you that the desperation you are feeling now is temporary and will not last.

Listen to Jen and take a leap of faith. You won't be sorry.

Jendays247
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 652
   Posted 6/28/2009 10:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Part of what you need to do is remove suicide from your options. That is NOT a choice. The choice that you have is to get treatment (in this case I think you need temporary treatment for depression) or to sit and soak in your sadness. Do not do the latter. Keep pushing, no matter the guarantees, and throw all of your negative energy into attacking lyme. You HAVE TO KEEP MOVING. I know it seems like the world is going on without you, but you're just moving a little bit slower than most people, and hey - we're all moving at the same pace as you! Do not feel alone. We are right beside you.
Current treatment (began June 10th 2009):
Biaxin 1000mg/day, Pulsing Flagyl 500mg/day 1 Week Every Month
 
 

CajunGrl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 6/28/2009 10:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Razzle,

My apologies. I thought low white blood cell count meant something else. I will email you if you don't mind.
2003 symptoms started;panic attacks,anxiety,heightened senses.
2007 Diagnosed with Lyme. Didn't start treatment.
2008 symptoms came back with a vengence.
2009 Diagnosed with Lyme plus co-infections....Babesia and Bartonella.
Illnesses:-Chronic Lyme Disease,Hashimotos Thyroiditis, Ulcers, Hypoglycemia
Medications:-Biaxin 250mg to start,Mepron,Ultram,Thyro Complex 60mg,Probiotics and supplements


CajunGrl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 6/28/2009 10:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Jen,

I so very sorry you had to go through all of that but what a great post. I felt like I was right there with you when I read it.
2003 symptoms started;panic attacks,anxiety,heightened senses.
2007 Diagnosed with Lyme. Didn't start treatment.
2008 symptoms came back with a vengence.
2009 Diagnosed with Lyme plus co-infections....Babesia and Bartonella.
Illnesses:-Chronic Lyme Disease,Hashimotos Thyroiditis, Ulcers, Hypoglycemia
Medications:-Biaxin 250mg to start,Mepron,Ultram,Thyro Complex 60mg,Probiotics and supplements


james from missouri
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 432
   Posted 6/28/2009 10:36 AM (GMT -6)   
thank you for all your support...

i just need GOD in my life, i'm missing something!!

my life was very good, and now i'm coming down with everything known to man.. i have rashes all over me, i have thrush and and a cough that won't end.. my doctor is almarmed by the low WBC count and thinks something else is underlying there. Which has put me in a state of panic ans shock, i've already started damage control with my family warning them of HIV with myself.. i don't know if that was the right thing to do, but i wanted to warn them before i give them the real news after my results..

i mean, you know your gut, my gut has never lied to me once, my gut is telling me hiv... i cannot escape it..

CajunGrl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 6/28/2009 10:44 AM (GMT -6)   
James,

If I had something to pay for for what I did in life, then I would probably have Aids too. I made alot of wrong decisions in my life. I was looking for love because I didn't have a father. We all make mistakes. It doesn't mean we will get Aids.

You cannot give up now before you figure out what's wrong!!! What if it's something simple like a virus or something? I've already said how bad those viruses can make you feel. Don't give up James!! You have all of us to support you.
2003 symptoms started;panic attacks,anxiety,heightened senses.
2007 Diagnosed with Lyme. Didn't start treatment.
2008 symptoms came back with a vengence.
2009 Diagnosed with Lyme plus co-infections....Babesia and Bartonella.
Illnesses:-Chronic Lyme Disease,Hashimotos Thyroiditis, Ulcers, Hypoglycemia
Medications:-Biaxin 250mg to start,Mepron,Ultram,Thyro Complex 60mg,Probiotics and supplements

Post Edited (CajunGrl) : 6/28/2009 10:51:00 AM (GMT-6)


Jendays247
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 652
   Posted 6/28/2009 10:48 AM (GMT -6)   
James,

I can't tell you how many times I said "I know in my gut I have _____"

COUNTLESS. And I've been wrong every single time so far.
Current treatment (began June 10th 2009):
Biaxin 1000mg/day, Pulsing Flagyl 500mg/day 1 Week Every Month
 
 

Dowa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1120
   Posted 6/28/2009 11:01 AM (GMT -6)   
An HIV test is quick and simple. Have it repeated and do it now so you can get that out of your head. I will post here again what my doctor said to me. "YOUR BODY IS ONLY AS HEALTHY AS YOUR MIND ALLOWS IT TO BE." The mind is very powerful and if you continue to think HIV, etc. you could actually create symptoms for yourself. It happens. You are not likely to have 2 false HIV test results, so repeat the HIV test and do that first so you can move on.  Take care  D 

james from missouri
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 432
   Posted 6/28/2009 11:18 AM (GMT -6)   
The EIA test i took only tested for lyme not hiv, no antibodies found on lyme, but hiv is a totally different strand of antibodies. and this is what is alarming to me...

i messed up..

thank you for all your support, it goes a long ways, i would prolly be dead if it wasn't for all you guys..

scorpio1960
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 6/28/2009 11:24 AM (GMT -6)   
James, You are not alone. We are all here for you and many of us understand exacty how you feel right now. Trust me, you are not being punished for anything that you've done in the past. Hang in there and try not to project. I know this is so much easier said than done, but please try. Once you get the results from the HIV test you will be able to move on and concentrate on getting well. It might take a while, but you will get there. I'm sending you lots of positive, healing thoughts and prayers. Take care. Valerie

scorpio1960
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 6/28/2009 11:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Just another thought - Lyme Disease can weaken the immune system which can make us vulnerable to other infections. That does not mean you have AIDS or anything else like it. You could very well be fighting a common infection which makes those of us with LD feel so much worse and our bodies have to fight so much harder to recover. I have often had labs come back showing problems with my wbc and rbc and eventually it corrects itself. I feel so horrible all of the time it's hard to tell if something else is going on or not.

I do not mean to minimize what you are going through. I just want you to be aware that just because you feel like you are dying or your gut is telling you something, that is usually not the case - not with LD anyway.

What you are feeling now is temporary. You are sick but you will get better.

RottenDog
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1013
   Posted 6/28/2009 12:13 PM (GMT -6)   
james so many here have given you some of the best advice. i also wanted to let you know you can go to your health dept. and have a HIV test and get in back in 24 hrs time. maybe you should do that for your peace of mind.

also know there is so many options open to you when you think your heading down the long dark road. you can find light if you will only ask for help. call your Dr. ask for there advice plz.
if and when you do make sure you fully explane everything to them that your feeling. in your body and your mind.
   RD
 
still looking for answers.
 
Remember that advice if free, its your choice what you do with it.  :)


Harleyrider
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 283
   Posted 6/28/2009 12:34 PM (GMT -6)   
James,

Thats my husbands name too....I see that you live in Missouri. I live in Kansas not far from the MO border. Since I found out I have Lyme in Feb of 2008 it has been a fight, a fight for my life just like everyone else that has a disease. I have been in your position many times and those thoughts of suicide enter my head quite often. The think what gets me through those thoughts are that there is hope and to imagine what my family is going through now with my disease is nothing compared to what they will go thru if im not here. There are doctors in our area that can help you, if you would like this info you can send me an email to browneyesmv720@yahoo.com. Don't let your mind turn who you really are into someone your not......Dig Deep the fighter in you is still there, no giving up until you really give yourself the fight you deserve.

Lots of Love Stacy
 


+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 6/28/2009 12:48 PM (GMT -6)   
I posted my response to James on the 'James' discussion CajunGrl started.  But I also wanted to respond to those who have posted here.  Then I will bump 'James' back up to the top.
 
I think it is awesome the way all of you have responded to James' pleas for help and to his desperate feelings. 
 Everyone is so down and in their own pain, yet you have poured out your heart for James.  There is a reason all of us are here.  I am very sorry for all that everyone has gone thru -- it has all been so unfair.  Jendays sticks out in my mind the most right now, but others of you also.
 
And Scorpio, I wanted to especially  thank you for the note you posted: 'My llmd has told me many times that Lyme Disease can cause overwhelming desperation. Much of what you are feeling and thinking is what I also experience.'
 
Because I get these feelings DAILY. It is indescribable, the way that it feels, but it is good to know that others are feeling it too and that it is part of the disease and not just 'Me'.  As I said, I've had episodes of depression for years, but this has all been so different. It has felt so physical.  And the feelings of this hopeless desperation are something I know I can't even describe to someone if I would try to call for help.  Because I will stand still and look at myself and my life and realize that there is nothing happening and nothing so bad in my life for me to be feeling this way.  Yet I have found no way to make it stop when it comes on. 
 
Scorpio, James, and others: It does help, if I'm not already down in the throes of it, to remind myself that this feeling is going to pass, either in a few hours, or I will not be feeling it the next morning if I will go on to bed.  I must always remind myself that it is temporary.  Reminding yourself that it is only temporary often  helps get you thru it.
 
Harleyrider! I live in KS too! Where are you?  I'm in the KC metro area. 
Lyme in NC in 1971? Suspect TBI: Fully engorged tick followed by high fever and tonsillitis. Follwed by , lumps on neck,  chronic tonsillits w/ constant low grade to recurring high (104) fevers, severe unexplained neck stiffness and acute neck pain.   Followed by tonsillectomy, urinary tract infections, miscarriage, appendicitis while pregant, chronic severe back pain. Followed by depression, mild anxiety, mitral valve prolapse, and hypglycemia.  Was this a TBI??
 
Bit again couple of times, lyme suspect bite Mother's Day 2007. Bite, symptoms, lyme specific antibodies on the most lyme specific band of all = 39 IgG.  Still awaiting appt w/ LLMD.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/28/2009 4:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear James,

Hello there, this is Kitt and I am truly sorry you are going through a rough time. I am also concerned re your feelings of depression and I would like you to make an appointment with your physician to discuss your feelings of self harm.

Due to the anonymity of the site and the fact that this is a peer support group and not responsible for calling any authority on any member that threatens suicide, we strongly encourage members to call the hotline , 911, a family member or a friend, or to check themselves in to the local hospital emergency room.

I am going to post for you the same info I post in the Depression Forum and I do hope you follow through and seek help.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are worth much more.

Here are the numbers:

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

U.S. Helplines

NDMDA Depression Hotline | Support Group. 800-826-3632

Suicide Prevention Services Crisis Hotline 800-784-2433

Suicide Prevention Services Depression Hotline 630-482-9696

Crisis Help Line | For Any Kind of Crisis 800-233-4357

*******************************************

Please know we care and we are here for you but do seek professional help as well.

You are an important person and the world is a better place because you live and serve within it.

Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself. I have a 26 year history of anxiety and depression and I am living prove that you can learn to stay in the moment and not get stuck in anticipatory anxiety. Remember yesterday is gone, tommorow does not yet belong to us so stay in the moment, it is all we have.

I want you to be safe. (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.”

Leo F. Buscaglia

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 8/7/2010 11:01:30 PM (GMT-6)


veromia333
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 674
   Posted 6/28/2009 5:18 PM (GMT -6)   
There is so much love coming your way from us right now. I dont believe you want to kill yourself I think it just gives you some kind of relief to say that. i know I have been there and said it in my head or out loud and it was some type of strange therepy. I do not believe u mean to do it u are just so frusterated. And hello here we are for u isnt that cool. I was so alone until i spoke here these people are like my my best friends who i havnt even seen but I have met them here. It is liberating to be able to discuss these things with eachother and someone is going to say something and take the time to say something meaningful in a special way giving all they can hoping those little words will do something for you. Thats what I try to do w my words.
that is what I have felt when someone has written the words for me. I love this place!!!
The line is faded not showing where Lyme came in. I became a new Mommy n my Lyme decided to show itself. Swollen elephant like knee and finger and limiting back pain. Bell's palsey, weight loss as if I had no muscle on my bones anymore. And much more text book lyme symptoms. To a Lyme doc, after alot of there is nothing wrong with you and a recommend to counceling,he said V this is Lyme. What kept me pressing on I had Lyme while I was pregnant. I know I was not infected while pregnant. I am watching her with an eagle eye. God Bless everyone. Love Veronica. Were the ones who know about Lyme not the doctors. Isnt that just mad? Backwards. Alice in wonderland.


+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 6/28/2009 7:56 PM (GMT -6)   
James, even tho it is not particularly remarkable, I am hoping that you were able to read my post to you on the 'James' discussion -- that discussion has been shut down, but you can still read everything that people had to say to you. We mostly want you to know that you are not the only one who feels like you do. And that we are hoping and praying for the best, as well as the correct, diagnosis for you.
Lyme in NC in 1971? Suspect TBI: Fully engorged tick followed by high fever and tonsillitis. Follwed by , lumps on neck,  chronic tonsillits w/ constant low grade to recurring high (104) fevers, severe unexplained neck stiffness and acute neck pain.   Followed by tonsillectomy, urinary tract infections, miscarriage, appendicitis while pregant, chronic severe back pain. Followed by depression, mild anxiety, mitral valve prolapse, and hypglycemia.  Was this a TBI??
 
Bit again couple of times, lyme suspect bite Mother's Day 2007. Bite, symptoms, lyme specific antibodies on the most lyme specific band of all = 39 IgG.  Still awaiting appt w/ LLMD.

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