Help! Too Depressed Again-Cajungirl! Deejavu!Travler!

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blessings723
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Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 10/10/2009 11:42 AM (GMT -6)   
I guess i got overwhelmed again by this thing... i don't know what to think right now- i feel like i'm dying.  i have two small babies to care for an yet i am to sunk in this to be happy around them.  My gerd is acting up like crazy- my bones are popping like crazy and i have not even seen a doctor yet. I will try calling another doctor monday- what a long way away that feels.   I tried one place but they won't help me do natural treatments.  I plan to do Dr. Jernigan's program but now i'm scared- i don't know why i guess i don't know what to trust. His approach to things is so new and different to me.  I looked up the cowden protocol too-- don't know what to think.   I really need to talk to someone.  I don't want to give up but i feel like my body is getting worse by the second.  I think i have severe inflammation in my throat or maybe an ulcer? I drank some aloe vera juice and i have nexium but i don't know if its safe to take while i'm on humaworm.  are my kids going to lose their mother? I don't even want to think about it but i can't seem to get out of this "funk".  Cajungrl or Deejavu or Traveler...would any of you consider talking on the phone? I understand if i'm still very new and this makes any of u uncomfortable...i just need to talk to someone- if any of you are willing please email me walkingflame7@yahoo.com so i can keep your number private-please don't post it here-  or i will give you mine in the email if that is more comfortable. thank you guys- but i won't be offended if this is uncomfortable- please respond here first to let me know what you think so i know it is one of you if you do email.  You all are so helpful. 
-Anita

blessings723
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 10/10/2009 11:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Didnt want to have to edit original post- i got nauseated and threw up this morning should i take my vitamins all over again?? this is all turning me into the biggest baby ever.

Deejavu
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Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 4284
   Posted 10/10/2009 11:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Anita,
 
I have to run out now but I will be back later. 
 
Real quick, please take a deep breath and try to calm down okay?   You don't have to do any protocol that you don't feel comfortable with..   I also suffer from anxiety (not lyme related) and I know starting something new can be scary.  
 
All I can tell you is this:  When I first started Dr. Jernigan's protocol I only took one product to see if I felt any different.  I kept it simple..  I like to keep everything simple as that is how I am.   If I take on too much I start feeling overwhelmed and that's not good for me in any aspect of my life.
 
So keep it simple..  relax..  Also, I am worried that you took the cayenne pepper by mouth as that is very strong stuff indeed!   I think cayenne pepper works better and more safely by using it in a detox foot bath as the 2000 pores in one's foot (each foot) will absorb the cayenne pepper into your blood stream through your footsies...
 
Will be back later..
Denise
It's all about the Immune System mixed with a large dose of Positive Thinking and Daily Detoxing   ~  Pay It Forward!!
 
This song is about my years with chronic lyme since 1995 and being in remission for over 3 years:
 
 


blessings723
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 10/10/2009 12:00 PM (GMT -6)   
yes- no more cayenne pepper by mouth for me. I think it did something to my poor esophogus. I just read it was good to take w/lemon in water but gee do i feel silly now. I wont attempt that again- maybe the capsules?? I was just trying to help my circulation- do you know anything else i can do for that- i think garlic is supposed to help a little- thank you for your hasty response deejavu. :) Means a lot.
 
Just actually saw the last part about putting it into detox bath- my mind is in a frenzy- yes i have been doing that- is that enough you think to help my circulation?

Post Edited (finding721) : 10/10/2009 12:03:44 PM (GMT-6)


PSR1
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 10/10/2009 12:07 PM (GMT -6)   
I just posted about feeling as if I am just slipping away: getting weaker and weaker, trying to take a zillion abx and supplements and herbs and just feeling worse and worse..nobody around me, including husband and doctors, seems to see it: they all say, "you're going through a rough patch but you're doing all the right things and it will get better." I just don't know...if I had had this when my kids were little I don't know if I could have done it. Best of luck to you: let's just hope they're all right when they say "this too shall pass."

CajunGrl
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 10/10/2009 12:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi finding,

I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner. I was reading some information on another site. Is there anyone there with you? I know how hard it gets. Been there, done that. You have to keep fighting, especially for your kids. How old are they? Can anyone care for them today until you feel a little better?

I know how hard it is to be happy especially when you feel so bad. Do you have any anti anxiety meds? They could calm your stomach down a little too. If your kids are little, they probably won't remember this at all.

Forgive me if I seem to be scatter brained today. I have terrible brain fog and I'm running fever. I'd love to talk to you but I don't think I would be great company. You can email me anytime though. I get online on my phone so I would get your email right away.

Keep your chin up and hang in there. We are all here for you.
**You never know how STRONG you are....until being STRONG is the ONLY choice you have**

Co-Moderator Lyme Disease Forum


blessings723
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 10/10/2009 4:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes- PSRI people tell me the same things and i have a hard time seeing it myself- especially b/c i have 2 little ones and i don't know if i will be strong enough to care for them- i am still at the beginning of whatever this is but I am frightened of where it could lead.

Thank you cajungrl, i did send you an email- i just wish i had an extra person who UNDERSTOOD what this is and could help with my kids. My parents try to help but in the end they think i'm just depressed. I don't know what they would say once i get tested if it's positive.

CajunGrl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 10/10/2009 5:13 PM (GMT -6)   
finding,

I got your email. I sent you one back.
**You never know how STRONG you are....until being STRONG is the ONLY choice you have**

Co-Moderator Lyme Disease Forum


Willowrose
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 699
   Posted 10/10/2009 7:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Finding,

I'm new to this, too, and understand how overwhelming it can be. I know you didn't ask me, but I hope you won't be offended if I share some of the things that keep me sane:

-I have no reason to believe that Lyme and co-infection symptoms will worsen, so I choose to believe they will at worst stay the same, and at best improve or disappear. There are horror stories and success stories all over the place; I have decided mine will be a success story. Even if it turns out to be a horror story, at least thinking this way I have peace of mind right now and that's worth a lot.

-I've had this for a long time, maybe for most of my life. It gets bad and it backs off. When it's bad I make a point of remembering that it will back off again. That's difficult sometimes when I have a long bad period, but it helps me not to feel stuck in a terrible place.

-When I am having disturbing symptoms I look for physiological experiences that will distract me. Since I'm cold a lot, often that will be a warming experience (a fire, warm water foot bath, cleansing bath, having a heater or blow dryer pummel me with warm air, drinking a warm beverage). If you're hot, a cool compress on the back of your neck or on your forehead can be distracting, or put an ice cube in a baggie and use that to rub oil on your legs. Ahhhh. Sometimes I eat an intense-tasting food like olives or peanut butter. Or I do body brushing, or use a salt scrub on my skin, or rub my body with pleasant-smelling cream. I do not allow myself to focus on the symptoms because I cannot fix them by doing that, all I will do is become frightened and upset.

-I create peaceful moments for me alone, and for me with my loved ones. These are simple like lighting some candles and playing relaxing music, or reading aloud, or doing an art project. The point of these is to slow me down when my mind is racing. I've always been a worrier, and anxiety is always lurking. This is my way of intervening. It also allows me to share quality time at a pace that is realistic for me.

-The amount of information "out there" about Lyme and treatments is immense. I have chosen a few sources of information for the beginning of my Lyme journey. I keep meticulous notes about treatment alternatives, recommendations, and outcomes so that I can reference those easily when I am considering what step to take next. Once I have decided what course to take, having the notes lets me archive other ideas so that I don't lose track of them but also so that I don't need to be confused by them right now. If something isn't working I can always change course and having notes helps me decide what to do.

-I keep a diary about my treatments and symptoms. This way I can keep track of whether something is working or not. It also lets me express myself. It doesn't usually come out in my posts (I hope) but I am very angry that I went for so long to so many doctors without a correct diagnosis. The cost to me, my loved ones, my relationships, my career, financially, etc., etc. is huge. This anger buys me nothing but more misery, but I need to get it out somehow. The diary is a good place to do that, and who knows, maybe someday I'll do something with it. (publish it, burn it, send it to my doctors???)

Whatever I do in my life, it's better for me and for those I love if I can maintain a healing attitude. I learned this from my late husband who was sick for much of his adult life and who was desperately sick the for the last six years. He called his approach to living with a debilitating terminal illness positive denial. I can tell you that despite all of his medical problems, his illnesses were not the primary focus of his life and that he found a way to do the things he loved (albiet in an altered way) up until the day he went into the hospital for the last time.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. You've said things in your posts that have encouraged me and helped me to keep perspective. I am grateful for that. We're all here to help each other. It's great that you reached out. I hope that you will be able to find some peace of mind soon.

Hugs,

Rose


I have Lyme; it doesn't have me.

Post Edited (Willowrose) : 10/10/2009 8:10:40 PM (GMT-6)


Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35849
   Posted 10/11/2009 11:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey finding,
sorry I was MIA for a bit - things got a bit tough again for me too.
PLEASE, please feel free to email me any time!!! I don't talk on the phone much - except to my kids, as they grew up with me being like this. It's much easier for me to communicate with the written word, as I have a lot of issues with word finding, comprehension & stuff like that -

BUT!!! That does not mean I WON'T talk on the phone. I will send you an email in a bit - but don't feel like you have to respond either - it can be a really bumpy road we Lymies have to travel & we need to stick together to some extent in order to know we are not alone.

I hope you are able to find some comfort soon, as I know what you mean about the question - will I be here later for my kids? I did make it to later - you can too!!
It's been said:LD patients can be as ill as people w/ congest. heart failure & in as much pain as post-op patients.


blessings723
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 10/11/2009 3:35 PM (GMT -6)   

Thank you Rose for responding! And thank you Traveler! Sorry i didn't fit your name up there in the title Rose, and no way could i be ofended by your reply- I hop YOU were not offended that your name was not up there- silly me! Anyway your advice was very good and i am so sorry about your husband- but we cannot stay in positive denial- we must be convinced we will get well! I cannot afford to not get well- i have 2 babies and they need me.  THere are people that love and need you Rose! We need you! Yes- my days and moods change from moment to moment- i don't even know half the stuff i'm deficient on right now- b 12 , iron, calcium... b/c i have not had any tests to know yet- but I will take your advice even though it is often hard for me to focus on good things- i must try to change this- my mind too often is wrapped in the negative.  Thank you so much for all your good suggestions and whenever you see a post of mine consider youself automatically invited for response! turn

Traveler, I wil check for your email- and i don't care if your brain has troubles, your heart is in the right place! and i thank you!


Willowrose
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 699
   Posted 10/11/2009 5:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Finding,
 
I'm glad you found something useful in my post.  about Positive denial  - It is just what you say you want to do; it is forging ahead with your life as if you are well and will be fine rather than living through your illness or your fears of the future.  He came up with this after he'd been told he had a terminal illness.  When a person is terminally ill a lot changes.  Most of us don't realize how much of our social discourse is arranged around planning into the future and assuming one has a future.  But when you have been told you don't have a future, what do you do?  We still had two children at home, and after grappling a short while with how to conduct ourselves, he decided not to accept the prognosis most of the time.  The disadvantage was that it was difficult to plan for the eventuality of his dying.  That fell to me and my support people to arrange behind the scenes and after he was gone.  But the advantage, which to me was preferable, was that he (and we) had a full life all the way up to the end.  He wrote a book about this.  One of these days I've got to see if I can get it published.  There was a lot of wisdom in there, not just for terminally ill people, but also for chronically ill people (which he was for much longer than he was terminally ill).  The focus is on how to live a full, quality life, and the approach is positive and uplifting. 
 
Just a side note - he had a lot of medical problems and a lot of specialists attended to him.  Just last week it suddenly washed over me that he had undiagnosed LYME in addition to his other medical problems.  I'll never know for sure, but knowing his symptoms I think it is probable.  How sad. 
 
I hope you are having a better day today. 
 
Rose


I have Lyme; it doesn't have me.


CajunGrl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 10/11/2009 6:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Rose,

I'd love to read that book if you ever get it published. So many of us try to deal with having a chronic illness and don't know how. I'm sure that book would be very beneficial to so many of us. Your words are very positive. I love reading your posts.
**You never know how STRONG you are....until being STRONG is the ONLY choice you have**

Co-Moderator Lyme Disease Forum


Willowrose
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 699
   Posted 10/11/2009 9:27 PM (GMT -6)   
CajunGirl,

What a nice thing to say! I enjoy reading your posts, too. I can't adequately express my gratitude to everyone on this forum for their participation. I get so much inspiration, encouragement, and courage by reading what you all write. We are where we are; the trick is to make the best of it. I see that happening repeatedly in the stories and experiences relayed here. It is a wonderful thing.

Rose
I have Lyme; it doesn't have me.


georgiagirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 1172
   Posted 10/12/2009 7:54 AM (GMT -6)   
finding, did you get the e-mail I sent you?

PSR1
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 10/12/2009 8:13 AM (GMT -6)   
I had another hideous night and feel absolutely ready to die this morning: how long before people can get relief from symptoms? I am truly ain agony and the docs all say "hang in there." Don't know how much longer I can do that

Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35849
   Posted 10/12/2009 10:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey PSR - Are you doing anything to detox? It might help- I am going through some pretty rough times myself lately as well. about all we can do is hang tough sometimes though.

Willow,
You said;
"I get so much inspiration, encouragement, and courage by reading what you all write. We are where we are; the trick is to make the best of it. I see that happening repeatedly in the stories and experiences relayed here. It is a wonderful thing."

I think most of us feel the same way. Even though I have been longer than some, it doesn't mean that I don't learn from those who may have just started here. I also am very grateful to have access to this wonderful place!!
It's been said:LD patients can be as ill as people w/ congest. heart failure & in as much pain as post-op patients.


blessings723
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 10/12/2009 4:41 PM (GMT -6)   
georgiagirl, Yes i got your email! and i sent one back. :) Glad to find another mommy.  Do you suspect your kids of having this mess? I have two little ones that i am concerned about.  I am waiting and watching and planning... the only treatment i would consider for them would have to be natural; they are just so little.  My girl is only 6 months and my boy is 16mths.  He is displaying some concerning "autism" like symtoms and i'm thinking it may be connected to lyme.  I am beginning to wonder if most autistic kids have lyme... anyway i would love to talk to you-please check your email when you get a chance.  There is hope and there is strenth in numbers.  I would love to hear what treatments you have tried.

blessings723
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 10/12/2009 4:44 PM (GMT -6)   
I hope you get the book published too Rose! :) You are his lasting legacy!
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