I have been paying attention to what I call mild – or tolerable flares. I decided to start using some of my antibiotics that I had stashed for this occasion. (not expired!) and work on getting treatment in the mean time. So I am on just a 5 day of azithromax. I also have tetracycline and minocycline. No ceftin unfortunately.
Timeline: really ill sep 04- to - july 07. Then did 90 day couse of Ceftin. Had a baby and felt super- myself again. Symptoms returning, off and on… but so I could not be sure enough about them I started to think , oh it was a cold, or I am tired. Thinking maybe this is how I feel now when I am tired, or have a cold.
I find myself back and forth- - back and forth. I have it – I don’t have it. If I don’t have it what do I have? If I do have it what do I do? This think makes you a mess in your own head. Now that I believe the symptoms are getting stronger, I question – did I cause them to return stronger? I found this site not because I was having “strong” symptoms. Or did my mind lead me here because I sensed it was inevitable?
I was getting worred in Dec, I went to Doctor and started new. He’s not LLMD but funny thing is, when I went to that appt. I decided I would not mention that I believe I have Lyme, and so we talked and told him what I felt, and the guy – says, have you ever considered LYME?! We did w. blot though as I look at results I don’t think he actually did blot but a pre-qualification to blot… not elisa. I don’t know what it is. Anyway.
My question, for those of of you who never had lyme definitively diagnosed, or should I say your tests do not show you have lyme and have ruled out everything else… MS,for example, or were diagnosed with CFS, or EBV or CMV for example… do you feel back and forth and sometimes like your own mind is at fault? I came to a point before where they tried to tell me it was anxiety.. and I finally said okay fine--- treat my anxiety!! Though I knew it was not me but I was willing… and we never had to because I stumbed onto antibiotics which CURED me of all symptoms.- then
It’s crazy, I can see my mind going through the same motions of what I did before… I don’t want to go there again! Help any comments or recommendations?!
Also, I told someone yesterday that I believe I have lyme and then I worried and worried like- - I am liar.. or something. What is this about? Why do I want to keep it secret to me and only my husband and his family since they know lyme disease since they have experienced it first hand.
Thanks everyone for your reply and reassurance!
The mind sure wanders when without positive diagnosis about what if I am wrong and it’s this, or that. (even tho most everything else has been eliminated) I am gonna stop the mental roller coaster cycle I put myself thru and give myself a break this time. Instead I am trying to reach a LLMD in MN that I was referred to by MN support group and also have already ordered the Igenex tests.
I don't WANT LYME disease but if i have it- I WANT a diagnosis!!! It's confusing because i keep hoping for a positive test! Weird right, but i guess that's how strongly i feel i have it. of course i want clinical diagnosis and treatment regardless of test but, i'll always wonder. the key is i don't want lyme disease but if i do indeed have it, i wish a lab could support it.
Post Edited (+Lyme) : 4/25/2010 11:18:22 AM (GMT-6)