CRAZY TOUGHTS AND FEELING OF GOING CRAZY.....

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samoahmad
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 6/19/2010 7:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi,
I am getting thease crazy toughts in my head that are scaring me, I start to think and feel like I am going crazy, Its like I dont recognize myself. I get to the point of feeling like I should check myself into a phsychiatric hospital, and I get so scared, but I know I am normal. I am also dreaming alot of weird dreams, I had a bout of sleep paralasis this morning......My question is does anyone else experience thease symptoms or taughts, or feelings, need all the input feel like I am losing it...I have been on amoxcillin 2000mg a day for 30 days, Its week three now...

Traveler
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35707
   Posted 6/19/2010 9:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Samoamad,
Are you doing any detoxing? I felt as you are describing when I was dealing with Lyme encephalitis. It was quite scary for me, as I felt like my brain was being controlled by someone other than me!! I know how crazy that sounds - but that's the way I really felt.
You just taught me something & that's not so easy these days - giggle!! I had no clue how to explain what I was feeling - until I looked up sleep paralysis to make sure I understood what you were talking about!!! Kind of a creepy feeling to me when that happens!
It's been said:LD patients can be as ill as people w/ congest. heart failure & in as much pain as post-op patients.


+Lyme
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Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 6/19/2010 10:13 AM (GMT -6)   
samoamad,
 
Yes, I feel as if I am going insane DAILY. I cannot even describe the feelings, my head and mind are so jumbled. My mind often races (and not about anything that makes any sense) and I can't stop it, can't stop and try to figure out what I'm trying to think about!  I'm often paralyzed in total confusion and feelings like I'm going to explode or completely lose it.
 
It is horrid and too often unbearable. And at times very scary too. I totally sympathize w/ your feeling like you need to check into a hospital -- I feel this way almost every day, I feel so desperate and feel like I can't go on like this. I swear, if I did not have 2 dogs who depend soley on me, I would have tried to check in somewhere.
 
I have felt like I was 'losing it' for over 3 yrs now. This is in spite of the fact that I am on the same antidepressant (now a higher dose) that helped me for years and years in the past.
 
I just want to tell you you are not alone. I know that that, alone, does not really even help.  Also, my anxiety and depression went thru the roof and down to the pits while I was on Amox. AFter 2 months and I stopped, I experienced a lot of relief, and thought I was cured, but it did not last.
 
I have experienced a lot of sleep paralysis in the past, however not in a long time, because I don't go thru normal sleep patterns anymore.  I don't think that is necessarily bad, except that it is scary.  You are actually paralyzed so that you will not act out what's going on in your sleep --- people that lack this stage have night terrors and get up and go nuts chasing stuff.
 
I don't know if this will help or not. A man once told me that at those times (and my head is roaring), I am trying to leave my body. It does not always work and I cannot do this at will. But years ago, when this would happen, I could make myself sort of dive down, like into a somersault, into the darkness and then will myself to float upwards.  It's very pleasant to feel yourself leave your body -- regardless of whether it is only a dream or for real.
 
Sometimes it's too difficult to get thru the ceiling and then the attic. Sometimes I couldn't make it thru. Sometimes I could go above the trees, and many times I flew thru the air really fast.  Once, I even went zooming thru the Universe -- seeing all the stars and galaxies. I wondered what the temp was, because I knew I didn't have my body (so how could I see?). (Absolute zero is the temp)
It was a very thrilling adventure and nothing on earth or of material held any significance. Maybe I HAD stopped breathing, as so often it feels??
 
Anyway, for me and others I've talked to, this usually happens when you are extremely exhausted and/or stressed.  I take too many drugs right now to sleep and thus have not experienced this, or known that I have.  Unfortunately, my daughter will experience this paralysis, but she feels a terrifying evil presence at that time -- and she knows that someone or something evil is in her room. I haven't been able to get her to turn it around, and it's not easy.
 
If you have a bout like you had this morning, just try to relax yourself and try to will yourself to float upward. It's really pleasant.
 
I know I sound crazy, but I bet others know what I'm talking about?


Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia,  chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
 
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.


CajunGrl
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 6/19/2010 10:17 AM (GMT -6)   
I didn't feel well on Amox either. I think it causes alot of die off. Detoxing is a great idea.
Lyme disease, Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Adrenal Fatigue, Rheumatoid Arthritis(Just diagnosed)
Prescription Meds: Savella, Tramadol, Hydrocortisone, Plaquenil
Supplements: Thyro-complex, Magnesium, Calcium, Potassium, Folic Acid, Fish Oil, Vitamin C, Probiotics, GI Repair, Vitamin D 50,000IU and Joint Supplement

Co-Moderator Lyme Disease Forum


samoahmad
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 6/19/2010 10:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for your reply, its reassuring to know others are going through the same thing....I dont have side effects from the amox, but I believe its from the die off of bacteria, I am detoxing alot actually, I even go to the gym. I was misdiagnosed with epilepsy, so I have stopped that medication now, so I am also withdrawing from keppra which is a crazy medication..I had paralysis before but it was 6 years ago I was very stressed panicy ans anxious back then. I guess alot of what I am going through is anxiety as well I got a huge panic atack 2 months ago, so I decided to go visit my docter, had no idea a blood test would prove positive for lyme diasese, and that further testing would rule out my epilepsy, I tought I had epilepsy for the past 4 years, I guess its to much info all at once for me...I wish you the best of luck, hope you get better and thanks again for all the advice

+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 6/19/2010 10:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Samoahmad, did you have seizures? If so, what were they like?
Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia,  chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
 
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.


Jeminij
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1335
   Posted 6/19/2010 11:43 AM (GMT -6)   
I felt completely insane when I first got sick. It was horrible. My mind would race all the time and I couldn't stop it. I used to say it felt like a bad trip on acid or something with scary thoughts and images and I felt like I wasn't even in my own body. The phone ringing would set me off into a panic attack. It got worse when I first started medication, but it does get better and eventually it will go away. As scary as it seems it will pass. It took a while for me to get better but I have never felt that crazy again since (other than PMS :-) Hang in there. Keep on the meds and it may take time, but you will start to feel better in your head. I remember my mother telling me she wanted to put me in a hospital because I was so crazy in my own head, but I knew the whole time that it was lyme and that I wasn't actuallly crazy.

You'll get there I promise. I know how scary it is right now, but just stay with it. Try to find something to occupy your mind if you can. I started doing mosaic work and later turned it into a business, but it was just something I started doing to change my mind focus when I felt like I could do it and it really helped me.

samoahmad
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 6/19/2010 12:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much, I just got into a really bad trip, taught I was going insane panicy feeling, like what am I gonna do now..I was losing the plot, started getting raceing crazy taughts could'nt control it, its exactly what I needed to hear.....Is all of this due to lyme and herxing? My symptoms are mostly neurological could that be possible? I am still able do go to the gym I dont have that extreme fatigue but I do live and did contract it in europe...

samoahmad
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 6/19/2010 12:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Lyme + I used to get seizures as a child, I remember my mouth would shake then my arm would cramp up and then I would nt remember anything, they are called petite mal seizures...But 4 years ago no one new what I had so they had diagnosed me with temporal lobe epilepsy, with this kind of epilepsy you are fully aware of whats going on around you but you get very weird feelings you can read about it online but since I was misdiagnosed I never had a simple partial seizure so could nt say...

GWB
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 570
   Posted 6/19/2010 12:31 PM (GMT -6)   
samoahmad,

Sorry for the suffering you're going through at this time. Back in November I took a turn for the worse and one day out of no where I got the worse anxiety attack I've ever had. Never had one before so I didn't even know what to expect. It became obvious to me that the Lyme neurotoxins were affecting my brain.

I called my LLMD (at his home which he was none to pleased about) and told him what was going on. I told him I felt like I was going crazy and having anxiety attacks for no reason whatsoever. This doctor was not very sympathetic to me, probably because I disturbed him at home. He was also not very experienced as he was a relative newbie treating Lyme disease. He told me if I felt I was going crazy to go to the mental hospital. Unbelievable comment, especially coming from a LLMD who'd you think would be a bit more understanding and sympathetic about my situation.

I told him I wasn't going crazy like I needed a mental hospital or anything like that, I needed something to calm me down until he sees me at our next appt. He said, "well, what do you want me to give you?" I said, "how would I know. you're the doctor, Im the patient". He asked if other people on the forums talked about what they do when this happens to them. I could not believe he's ask me that! I told him that many of them get medications to calm them down like valium, klonopin, xanax, and stuff like that. He said, "fine, I'll rx you some xanax and you take that until I see you next time". Sheesh, I had to tell my LLMD what to do based on what I read on the lyme forums. He knew I belonged to a couple of lyme forums which he wasn't too fond of either, but that's a whole other story.

All that to say, maybe you should consider trying some xanax to calm you down when you have these experiences. Xanax helped me a lot until I started getting better from my natural treatment, so maybe this could help you too. Just a thought.

Gary

samoahmad
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 6/19/2010 12:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you gary, cant believe your docter would say that, maybe you should try another docter, I have calming pills but I dont take them unless its really really bad...I hope you feel better...

GWB
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 570
   Posted 6/19/2010 12:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh, I already have another doctor and have gotten much better since that ordeal. My previous LLMD is shutting down his practice at the end of July. He got called before the medical board and things didn't go his way, so he decide rather than fight, he's just going to retire.

I went the natural route and am doing really good now. You can find my thread here titled "Hansa Center Update". If you have any questions about it feel free to post them here or send me an email.

Gary

samoahmad
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 6/19/2010 1:53 PM (GMT -6)   
yeah gary i would be really interested to see how you cure lyme naturally , if you can e-mail it to me Thanks in advance.. samo_ahmad@hotmail.com

Jeminij
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1335
   Posted 6/19/2010 4:51 PM (GMT -6)   
yes it was all lyme for me. I was fine before lyme and fine when I got better. I had neuro lyme too. I mean it was as bad as it could ever get. I never thought I would ever feel "normal" again. I keep journals through it all and I can't even go back and read them now. It did help then to write stuff down as most people I knew and talked to didn't understand what I was feeling. I was told by 2 dr's that I had "emotional problems" and not lyme. Needless to say they didn't stay my Dr's after that. I found a lyme specialist soon after and was diagnosed, but it was very scary. I remember thinking it would never get better but just know that it does and it will. Try to get through it best you can right now. I never took meds either for any of the mental stuff. I just knew they weren't for me. I had them incase I needed too, but it rarely happened that I did. I just somehow got through it and you will too.

GWB
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 570
   Posted 6/19/2010 5:12 PM (GMT -6)   
samoahmad said...
yeah gary i would be really interested to see how you cure lyme naturally , if you can e-mail it to me Thanks in advance.. samo_ahmad@hotmail.com



samoahmad,

I'm sorry I didn't communicate more clear with you. What I should have said was, after you read the thread that I started back in January on the Hansa Center feel free to get back to me with any questions. Once you read this thread a lot of your questions will be answered. You might have more questions after reading it and I'll be happy to answer any questions you have.

Here's the thread: www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=1690780

By the way, I'm not the only one who wrote about the Hansa Center. A gal who goes by the name Cindy loo hou also wrote a thread or two about it as well. Look up her name and you'll see her comments about her experience at the Hansa Center

Deejavu is another person's who's posts you may want to look at. She didn't go to the Hansa Center but she bought the book, "Healing Lyme Disease" and followed the protocol at home and got completely better within 8-9 months.

After you read my thread feel free to ask me anything you'd like.

Gary

Donotfear
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 6/19/2010 5:59 PM (GMT -6)   
I have begun to feel this same way & only been on Doxy for 1 week.  It seems worse in the morning, as I have the shakes. I feel better in my mind as the day progresses, but my body feels dragged down.  It's good that you recognize these aren't normal thoughts. As long as you can recognize it & acknowledge it, the thoughts cannot "own you".  Continue to focus on positive things, surround yourself with color and good things & people.  You will over come this.

DocGP
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 184
   Posted 6/26/2010 11:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Amox made we make in the middle of the night with the scariest feeling i have ever felt...extreme anxiety and literally thought i would die. It was AWFUL. I can sympathize greatly. You're not crazy...the disease is just in your brain.

Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35707
   Posted 6/27/2010 3:15 PM (GMT -6)   
A word to the wise about talking to your doc if you feel you may have had a seizure-
I had 3 small seizures & 3 episodes of fainting & wanted to talk to my doc about them - it scared me. They all happened during a very stressful time, and I have not had any issues since that time, but at least in Arkansas the doc can file a report to take your drivers license away for a full year. I was able to backtrack fast enough evidently & was allowed to keep my license fortunately, as I was living by myself at that time.

I understand all of the why's concerning not allowing people with seizures to drive a car, but for me that would have meant that I couldn't have even been able to go get a few groceries.

I am posting this so that those who may be facing this situation can be prepared.
-Live simply- Love generously- Care deeply- Speak kindly. May we all find peace along the journey to find healing.
Trav


mikazmat
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 133
   Posted 6/28/2010 5:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Samoahmad, before I realised I had LD I had some terrible neuro problems, I suffered anxiety/apathy (sometimes within an hour of each other), I had some homicidal thoughts, thoughts of walking away from my family, just many different unreasonable thoughts and ideas that would take too long for me to list but these thoughs and ideas conspired to twist my personality. The major proplem for me was that I didn't realise my thoughts were unreasonable, Lyme had got me good. I have suffered many physical symptoms too, fatigue, shooting pains, lyme arthritis, numbness and tingling and others but the brain fog and "madness" were by far my worse problems.

An interesting point you mentioned was the fact you lived and worked in Europe, was it somewhere in Europe you were "ticked"? I was fed-on in southern Hungary in 2006. I believe now I was infected with Borrelia Garinii, this bug is endemic in large parts of Europe and the strain is known to cause neuroborreliosis, there's no different treatment for Bg but having an idea what's swimming around in you is a step closer to mentally defeating this disease.

I started my ABX treatment on 200mg Doxy twice a day and in around a month many of my worst thoughts had subsided, I still had many of the other ideas and feelings though for months but slowly my mind is coming back to me. I've been on different ABX over the past 10 months and I still have days where my brain just doesn't function as it should but things are definitely (slowly) improving. The Doxy worked for my mind, hopefully Amoxy will work for yours so hang in there and fight. Good luck.

Mik.

+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 6/30/2010 6:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I have to keep returning here-- I feel so mentally ill so often that I cannot even believe it is because of Lyme or babs -- I mean, I think I know it, but it's getting so much worse. Times like today, right now, I feel I can't take it anymore. I don't want to die, but I don't want (or can't) do what I have to do -- can't take these feelings much longer. So want to check into a hospital, but can't because of work and dogs. Can't run away either.

my mind is just totally scrambled and I don't know how to express it, but feel as if I have to jump out of my skin because I can't handle the feelings anymore.

I know it's not great, but thank God for xanax, but it doesn't fix everything. I'm stuck -- I don't want to wash and brush and get ready for bed, or figure out what to wear to work tomorrow, or walk the dogs or play w/ the dogs or clean up my dishes or vaccuum up the dog hair and crumbs.
 
Can't take the pushing myself anymore just to get thru the day -- to work all day and take care of dogs and take care of myself. It's all too much.

sounds so petty, I know -- but I hate everything and can't handle anything -- completely overwhelmed by everything. My home is a disaster.

As for Amox, I am starting back on it at a lower dose. I had all these feelings, too, while on Amox. Doc (infectious disease, if you can believe it) believed it was herx, not side effects. I don't even want to suffer what we've gotta suffer to get better. Just don't want to be me anymore! WHAT can be done about THAT?? I want OUT of here -- the desire is overpowering.

I think I need to come to this post to remind myself that Lyme CAN make us this mentally ill. It can, can't it?? HOW bad can this get??

Got red dots on my legs about 2 years ago -- they are now so much worse, they are more like sores and sometimes itch. I'm going to post about this, but it's one more thing making me sick of myself and everything. My entire legs are so gross it makes me sick. I am so sick of the pain, still nowhere as sick as most of you -- I dont' know how you take it.

This is SO bad, but I have to tell the truth. Often when I go there to this unbearable place, the only thing that makes it stop is a xanax and a couple (or 3) Mike's hard punch. So NOW I'm going to be an alcoholic, huh? When I feel this sick, I start to crave it. Can't even afford it. My addictions are killing me, but I don't know how to make them stop. When i feel better will they stop? Cigarettes and Frappacinno -- ALL stuff that's killing me and making me bankrupt. Does ANYONE relate here? Can anyone here help me make it stop? I can't do it anymore.

I related exactly to samoahmad and mikazmat -- except no homicidal thoughts, only suicidal. Again, I don't want to die and I CAN'T die, but I can't do what I have to do to survive -- that's the way it feels. And I'm scared about what will happen if this disease or the die off twists my mind anymore. Will I know what I'm doing? Will I know when I'm wrong?

Thanks for being here. Can Lyme really make us this crazy??


Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia,  chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
 
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.

Post Edited (+Lyme) : 6/30/2010 6:07:49 PM (GMT-6)


samoahmad
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 7/1/2010 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
i DOUBT LYME WILL DRIVE US CRAZY HANG IN THERE LYME +  it will all work out eventually, it always does , just try not to over think things, and take it easy on yourself.....

springsjean
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2154
   Posted 7/1/2010 4:30 PM (GMT -6)   
My mind continued to race with horrific thoughts, rage and mood swings until two months ago, when I started with my new llmd. She has me on a number of pills and supplements and although I know it will take a while and I am not cured, I am finally convinced that it is the lyme/bartonella causing the rage, depression and mood swings. If you get the rite treatment, you will be fine and happy again. It IS the lyme and probably co-infections. Hang in there!

+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 7/1/2010 10:45 PM (GMT -6)   
THANK YOU!
Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia,  chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
 
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.

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