Avoiding people . . . but feeling better

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springsjean
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2154
   Posted 8/25/2010 8:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Have started on Cymbalta as a last resort to try and get my life back while undergoing treatment.  Am actually feeling a lot better - no headaches, no joint pain but have also found that avoiding people that cause stress (whether because of me or them) has really helped.  Hopefully it doesn't cause a loss of relationships but I just can't deal with the stigma of constantly not feeling well and how people react to that.  Anyone else finding alone time to be better than struggling to fit in while trying to get well?

Mamyou
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 317
   Posted 8/25/2010 8:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Absolutely. I'm hoping the feeling passes, but if it doesn't, I'll still enjoy my own company.

Tala3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 233
   Posted 8/25/2010 10:20 PM (GMT -6)   
I think the thing we all have to remember is that no one wants to hear about anyone else's health problems constantly. I just extremely rarely talk about it and no one asks how I'm doing. I'm OK with that. I've had a different (fairly serious) health problem for about 30 years, and it really hurt me when that came on that no one seemed to care - it did take me a very long time to come to terms with other people's apparent lack of care/consideration to an "invisible" health issue - it's easy to comment or ask about a broken bone because you can see the cast or crutches. When you look fine, no one remembers you aren't well. Do what you can and just don't comment on the fact that you don't feel well unless it's absolutely necessary - they probably are dealing with problems of their own too. When I was at my worst I had to deal with a crazy woman at work who wanted to make a competition out of it! I rarely talked about it, but had to leave for many doctor appointments. She would approach me and tell me she was praying for me and ask me all sorts of "caring" questions...boy was it a shock when suddenly she had all of my same symptoms - only she talked about it to anyone and everyone to get attention! Imagine suddenly dealing with all of THIS, not having a clue what is wrong, going from doctor to doctor being told they have no idea what is causing it, and on top of that dealing with a crazy person trying to make a competition out of it to get attention for herself!

CajunGrl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 8/26/2010 1:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Springjean,

Please keep me updated on the Cymbalta. I am about to start taking it for pain as well. I do agree that staying away from stress and people who cause it is the best thing to do. in fact, when I am not feeling well, I go upstairs and sit in my room to stay away from my family. I sit in the dark and get on my computer because that makes me feel better and it gets the pain off of my mind a little bit. My husband doesn't like that I "hide", but I don't want to be mean or go off on him when I'm not feeling well. I don't mean to do that, but it happens sometimes when I am hurting real bad.

Tala- I know exactly what you mean about others not showing compassion. I went through the same thing and had a very hard time understanding why people did that. I still don't understand it and I actually lost friends that I "thought" were good friends. Now, I try to surround myself with positive people and that makes a huge difference in my attitude and how I feel.
Lyme disease, Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Adrenal Fatigue, Rheumatoid Arthritis
Prescription Meds: Cymbalta, Tramadol, Hydrocortisone, Plaquenil
Supplements: Thyro-complex, CMK, Folic Acid, Fish Oil, Probiotics, GI Repair, Vitamin D 50,000IU and Joint Supplement


Co-Moderator Lyme Disease Forum

springsjean
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2154
   Posted 8/26/2010 6:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Cajungirl, I am three weeks into the Cymbalta 30 mg before bed.  I was to the point where I was crying alot and feeling sorry for myself all the time.  I didn't want to add another pill to the mixture but I have to say after 3 weeks I am happier, riding my bike, enjoying work, so who knows. 
 
Tala, I have found it surprising and hurtful that people just aren't interested in how you actually feel but have also found that I need to not talk about it anymore with them.  I actually ask my dr. what to say when people say "how do you feel?" cause I feel like debbiedowner all the time and she said just say "better thanks"  and leave it at that.  I always considered myself a caring person but have found people really don't want to deal with other people's problems. I guess the word resentment has caused me to look poorly upon them when really they are entitled to do as they please.
 
I'm hoping that cutting down on get togethers with give me more time to relax and focus on getting well rather than worrying about acting "fine" around those that need only that around them. 
 
Have a great day! 

madrivergirl30
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 205
   Posted 8/26/2010 7:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Absolutely - I spend the majority of my time (probably 90%) alone. And I go through funks where I just don't even want to answer the phone or talk to anyone...maybe that's not always good for me, but it's what I need to get through it. When the pain gets as bad as it can get, it almost puts you into a spiritual place where you're in a battle for your life with God or the universe, or whatever...and just can't even think about anything else...it's all-consuming.

madrivergirl30
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 205
   Posted 8/26/2010 7:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Tala,

That's interesting because I find the opposite is true for me - people are constantly asking me how I'm feeling, day after day after day...I'm SO SICK of answering this question..."Just as terrible as I was yesterday, and the day before, and the last three years of my life!" I know it's all in good intent, but it's just an annoying reminder to me that I never feel good and haven't for a long time!

springsjean
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2154
   Posted 8/26/2010 8:33 AM (GMT -6)   
I know what you mean. I'm sick of the stigma of "oh she's not feeling good AGAIN." I just got an email from someone asking me to go to a marathon night out and when I told them I really am not up to it, I am getting a very negative response. They just don't get it. But I am getting better and realizing the rejection is what it is. They have to deal with it, I just have too much on my plate to worry about them getting their feelings hurt. I'd happily trade palces with them anyday.
Lyme, erlichosis, bartonella, herpes, EBV. 4 years undiagnosed despite 10 drs.
Current meds: tetracycline, amanatadine, neurontin, xanax, valtrex
Prior meds: amoxicillin, probenecid, doxy. IV refused by insurance.
THERE ARE ROUGH DAYS, TOUGH DAYS BUT ALSO GOOD DAYS. MY BOYS GET ME THROUGH THE BAD AND I SO ENJOY THE GOOD DAYS WITH THEM!

vicparis
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 8/26/2010 10:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the info re the Cymbalta. I think I'll ask my doctor next visit.

I try to save my venting about being sick for my therapist. He's always there for me and provides some good tools for communicating with people. Issues re herxing/Lyme are for my LLMD. If I'm having a bad day, I remember that tomorrow could be a good one. This Board helps a lot - I would never have known about a lot of the things you can do for yourself - detox baths, etc. I know everyone here has felt what I've felt and worse at some time.
 
Victoria

Post Edited (vicparis) : 8/26/2010 10:49:43 AM (GMT-6)


Tala3
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 233
   Posted 8/26/2010 12:23 PM (GMT -6)   
This is what I love about this discussion forum - we have each other to vent to, share with, and realize that others are going through pretty much the same thing that we are. We each come from our own unique situation, but there are so many similarities. I don't always post, but I do try to read all the posts. I don't know what I would have done if it weren't for all of you :)
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