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+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 9/10/2010 9:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry, here comes Miss Worry Wart again....
 
EAch day I go thru an unbearable, desperate spell that last for several hours.  It used to come on at certain times, like near the end of work and 2-3 hours at home.  It is a physical anxiety and unbearable depression --  thoughts of suicide constantly play across my mind, altho I cannot be free to do that and am not ready to die. I just often want to.
 
My LLMD says this is probably a herx.
 
Anyway, yesterday was about the worst -- I completely wigged out.  I wonder if anyone out there experiences this. First, I had that unexplainable, physical anxiety that stiffins all muscles and bones.  Then the depression and uncontrollable crying begins, w/ the desperate, begging prayers.
 
If I can ever get well, I am planning to move to NC next year to be near my again parents and see what I can do to help.  I have planned on this move taking a year to prepare -- save up money, who knows how much I'll needand I don't know how to save because I don't earn enough. I plan to go thru everything I own and get rid of almost everything.
 
I will be leaving my grown children. And part of this anguish is that my daugther is engaged to be married in May. I know they will start a family asap and so I will be missing out on my first grandchild.  Either choice is anguish: whether I stay here w/ my kids and not be w/ my parents (who are awesome people) or whether I miss out on my kids' lives. At least for awhile.
 
I'm also in charge of a major dog adoption event here the end of Oct and have much MUCH work to do.  Then, the very thought of putting on Thanksgiving and then Christmas is causing me to flip out. Mostly because my place is such a disaster because I have not been well. I do all I can, which is work, take half assed care of my dogs, and do a cleaning job for cash on the weekends which pretty well cripples me.
 
And then, so NOW I have to prepare for a wedding in May -- just one more thing.
 
Right now, I just can't do it. I resent the fact that I have to push myself to work while in constant pain --- and nobody knows the least of the toll it's taking on me.
 
Anyway, on to the point. Last nite was BAD. She met the guy 2 monts ago, they are head over heels, she is moving in w/ him (45 min away) and then move a little farther away when he builds their house (he's a carpenter) I am thrilled and happy for her because she is 28 and finally found Mr. Right.
 
But all this stuff kind of got thrown on me out of the blue. The wedding, etc.  I don't feel I can do it!
 
I have a desperate problem at work and I feel that I cannot go on w/ it.
 
Last nite, I began experiencing the oncoming depression and anxiety. It is and was bad.  Almost every evening I fall completely apart and the misery in my brain becomes unbearable and I don't feel like I can go on. I understand I cannot leave everybody or my dogs, but I can't bear it anymore. I went bezerk -- I did not tear anything up, altho I wanted to. I just screamed and whacked everything w/ towels, cursing and feeeling totally out of control.  I was completely psychotic. And I have no one to talk to w/o hurting them.
 
My anxiety and anti-depession meds help to mellow me out, but that didn't work until I drank 2 Mike's, which I know is not good for lyme (hard punch)
 
Today I could not force myself out of bed on time and have taken 5 xanax to go back to bed. That's all I want to do.
 
So, I guess my question or all of you is this: I already know many of you suffer severe anxiety and depression.  Do you ever feel psychotic?
 
I never knew what true psychois was and looked it up. I'm not full fledged, but am headed in that direction.  I read that the causes are many, amongst them are xanax and Lyme disease.
 
Does anyone out there feel this bad? (psychotic) And do you believe I will find relief if my Lyme improves?  (I am already on a stout dose of antidepressants and xanax)
 
Or do you think I could truly be becoming this way, in spite of the Lyme. I am a 57 yr old female.  Right now I have in my possession a photo of my Great grandmother on my mother's side, who I never knew. The only thing the family knows is that she died because of menopause.  My mother says that nobody know what happend and nobody ever talked about it. At first, I swear she said that she must have killed herself. The next time, she said 'Oh no, she died of 'nerves'" She did not know what that meant, and just said, well, you know people can die of 'nerves'.
 
So I'm scared of the possibility of something serious being passed down, along w/ the fact that my grandmother on my dad's side had some serious issues, as well as an uncle on that same side.
 
Sorry for the length of this, but does anyone else out there relate to this? I don't know what I will do if I go totally bezerk.

Post Edited (+Lyme) : 9/10/2010 1:52:12 PM (GMT-6)


Caldonia Sun
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 310
   Posted 9/10/2010 10:21 AM (GMT -6)   
+Lyme,

I am so sorry you are having such a horrid time.

When I first started abx treatment, my herxes were like psychotic breaks. I had never experienced anything like it in my life - I'm 56 - this was last year. It would start with anxiety, heart pounding, then a feeling of not being able to do anything to cope, then the uncontrollable crying and wailing and begging God to take me NOW! Never lasted more than an hour, but oh, what an hour it was! That's when my LLMD decided to try IV treatment. He thought the neuro symptoms called for it. The herxes got easier and then dwindled off. Now, I had my hubby for support, so that made it easier. He has been a rock for me.

Have you had your hormones checked? Some of what you are dealing with could be menopausal-related. As for your relative, she probably had no support for meno. You can get it, whether it's natural replacements or synthetic.

You need to reduce everything that is causing stress in your life. I know that sounds like just some irrelevant platitude, but you need to. If that means letting your daughter plan her own wedding, so be it. She is old enough to understand. YOU ARE SICK! Pare down your life to include just what you have to do for now. It will not be forever.

One more thing to consider: maybe you need to switch meds or back off a bit.

May God grant you strength, peace and healing.

Think of it this way. If someone with your symptoms came to you for advice, what would you tell her?

Simela
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 552
   Posted 9/10/2010 10:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey +Lyme:
So sorry you are feeling so lousy!  Please do what is best for you right now.  If you can't handle certain things, stay away from them!  I think is the lyme that is playing with your head.  I found this article, maybe it will help see you are not the only one that's having suicidal thoughts:
http://www.angelfire.com/ny2/James/page79.html

Feel better and do ONLY what you can handle!

Good luck!

achievinggrace
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 3266
   Posted 9/10/2010 1:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey +Lyme,

Looks like you are sitting in the particular nasty corner of hell that I all too recently vacated. No, hell is not too strong a word if it means a place or condition you cannot bear and no way out or end to it. Yep, I know exactly where you are.

The good news is that I got better. (I did start to feel bad again, but that was my clue that I had been re-infected, that's another story). Anyway, I had panic, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, and a number of psychotic events. Hmmm psychotic events, sounds like something you would go to wearing a very crazy hat!

Yep, I can joke now, but it was awful. I had to let a lot of things go. My house, my garden, my social life, and my family. I've learned to accept what I am able to do is enough and very good. I have learned to simplify ... a lot. And I have learned to let other people do things.

And you know what, they want to do things. They want to help, they want to be involved. Sometimes it is very hard to actually know what to ask people to do, so I learned to write lists of what needed to be done and let people chose what they wanted to do.

Like Caledonia says, you are sick and you do not need to do everything. Look, if you had another disease, say cancer, people would be organizing themselves to help you. They would be checking in on you, taking you to the doctor, maybe even dropping off yummy casseroles. I never got one stinking casserole -- bah!

What helped me when I was having my impossibly low moments was to step away from the feelings and remind myself again and again that it was the disease making me feel like that. It was temporary and I was getting better.

You are getting better aren't you. If not, perhaps, it is time to revisit your doctor and change your medications. And remember, detox, detox, detox.

We're rooting for you.

Post Edited (achievinggrace) : 9/10/2010 1:31:24 PM (GMT-6)


+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 9/10/2010 1:51 PM (GMT -6)   
AS ALWAYS, Thank you so much everyone -- it is somewhat a relief to hear others speak of psychosis, and not just the depression and anxiety.

Achieving Grace, unfortunately there is no one willing to help me (in my personal life) My kids are good to me, except in that respect. If I had cancer, I don't think it would be any different. They do sometimes listen, but are pretty sick of it, esp my daughter. Part of the problem -- I have no one to talk to and thank God for all of you.

Caldonia and Simela -- thank you for jumping in there. It helps to know that this may get better before it gets much worse.

I was completely thru menopause and done several years before the tick bite, so I believe it is the infections. My last LLMD told me my testosterone was a little low (amongst adrenals and others), so if I keep on like this, perhaps I will need to ask my new Dr for tests.

I went thru this last time I was on heavy abx for 2 months -- not as bad, but I remember some of it. Then I had relief. My 2nd bottle of augmentin is almost gone, maybe that will be a milestone?

Everyone, your posts have helped tremendously. I'm sure these episodes will happen again and am hoping I will be better able to cope w/ it. Or at least 'shut down' for awhile. My kids don't want to hear about it anymore, nor should they have to hear this crap from their mother. And as much as I want to cry to Mommy and Daddy, the are in their 80's w/ their own infirmities -- I need to be helping them.

I have abadoned most of my friends -- I have told them I am ill, and they are sorry, but pretty much are sick of the fact that I have not pulled myself up by my bootstraps.

So, short of walking into a hospital, you are all I've got.

Caldonia Sun
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 310
   Posted 9/10/2010 2:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Bootstraps?? Who has boots ... I think it's more like we're all barefoot ... nothing to grab onto.

Simela
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 552
   Posted 9/10/2010 2:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I think what is worst about this disease is that there is no guarrantee that will not come back to get you later on, even if one feels ok now. I feel ok now, but from reading so many stories, I leave in a bit of anxiety and fear. I was panicky a couple of weeks ago, I have had anxiety in the past, shorness a breath, even went to ER once (not that they figured out what was wrong with me). I find overwhelming my bad days, because I can't do anything, not even thing clearly. It definatelly messes up with your head. Try to do things that you enjoy doing, your daughter can't expect you to do much even on her big day, she must understand your limitations.

It is hard for people to understand because we seem ok at times, but it really doesn't matter what people think, it matters what is best for us!

If you read the story in the link I provided, you will see that the women that wrote that blog went through thoughts of suicide, too. 

Feel better and know that there are people that care about you here.

vicparis
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 9/10/2010 3:11 PM (GMT -6)   
I think it's the Lyme causing the depression (although I'm not a doctor). You can call me anytime day or night if you need to talk:) Email me and I'll send you my number.
 
Victoria

Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35723
   Posted 9/10/2010 3:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Ohhhhhh, yeah, the anxiety, and the depression and of course the psychosis (that not easy to spell on days like this!) I have been TOTALLY convinced - twice now - that hubby is out to destroy me. That's total nonsense of course, but the last time -just about a year ago - both of my kids had to make the trip up here to 'talk some sense into mom'. Even though I know that it's the disease, I am still very embarrassed about having these 'moments'.

VERY well put Achieving!!!

And like Caldonia said - we're all running around barefoot!!! And we have a tendency to stub our toes a lot, as we try to find something that will work to help us either live with damage or live with symptoms.

I have figured out how to look at a lot more of my life with humor - sometimes it's a morbid humor, but hey!!! It's not easy being a Lymie!!!

+Lyme - You have given me sound advice & real concern for me over the years I have been active on this forum. It keeps getting pointed out on this thread, but remember - YOU ARE SICK - you no longer can do it all!! Your daughter should understand. It would be a terrible thing for me to have to chose between a parent & my child. Maybe you should chose which ever one will help you to get to a mental place where you could unload some of that life-killing stress ?? I don't know your exact situations & it's a choice only you should make -but it's a thought.

We are all 'pulling for you'!!!
Sending plenty of ((((hugs)))) ((((hugs)))),
warm, comforting thoughts,
and of course peace.


Trav
Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we will never cease to be amused!!!! :)
May we all find peace along the journey to find healing.
"Absence of proof is not proof of absence" - Dr. Edwin Masters, great LLMD & researcher -RIP
Trav

Deejavu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 4282
   Posted 9/10/2010 4:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey, before I get serious, I have been wearing high heels since I got better and I love them!  But when I get home, I do walk around bathfoot except in wintertime, then I keep socks on my big feet which only seem to be getting bigger!  smhair   Must be age..
 
Okay, +Lyme, I really feel for you..  Having lyme is bad enough but having to deal with all the stressors you talked about is just too much for anyone, I don't care how strong a person is..  And so many people tell me that I am a strong person but I can only take so much stress and then it's time for me to do something about it to reduce the levels.. 
 
I am facing a move right now and yes, it's stressful but I know it's the right thing to do for me..  I have been well for almost 5 years now and I don't want to get sick again..  I am moving to another state because financially I will have soooooo much less stress.. 
 
Perhaps the best thing for you to do is just say to yourself "I need to do what's healthy for me" and if that means just packing up (just what you really need and forget about the rest) and moving to your parents in NC, then just do it.. 
 
Forget about your daughter's wedding, has she been there for you as far as your illness?  I don't know..  She didn't plan this out for a year or longer, it was quick decision so let her make her own wedding, not your problem..  Don't feel guilty please, you have a legit illness not to mention your back problems.
 
Try to visualize not working with those horrible ladies anymore, resting as much as you want at your parent's place, taking care of YOU...   
 
I care about you and I have been where you are now and it stinks..  During my really sick days I can't tell you how many times I thought about ending it all..   I also had no support whatsoever..  My own mother couldn't care less and that hurt..  At least when my Dad was alive he cared enough to drop off some food in front of my door..   It was better than nothing..
 
So please take care of YOU..  You deserve it, okay?  And if you want to talk on the telephone, e-mail me and I am here for you..  I am 53 so we are close in age..  I am also alone..
 
So many hugs to you +Lyme,
Denise
 
 
 
It's all about Detoxing Daily, strengthening the Immune System mixed with a dose of Positive Thinking!
 
This song is about my years with chronic lyme since 1995 and being symptom free for over 4 years:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds81S61UvPA
 
Currently taking Estrovera, ProgX (progesterone), Adrenotone Plus, CoQ10, Vitamin B Total, C, Green Vibrance, CALM (Magnesium/Calcium)

springsjean
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2154
   Posted 9/10/2010 4:31 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been going through spells for a few years now. Absolutely psychotic episodes. Now I know what they are and try and do deep breathing. I have learned though to regress and hide out and not force myself to deal with things that cause stress. Unfortunately that had severely dulled my social life and I have lost some friends. But it is the only way I am going to get well. I am now on xanax and cymbalta which seems to really be helping. People just don't understand what it is like and I am sick and tired of trying to explain what it is like. I just say I'm not up to this or that and enjoy my home and family and sanctity. Stay strong (which is what I tell myself over and over again) and things will get better. The more you fight it off, the harder it will be. Go with it and be easier on yourself. I have found relaxing and sleep to be what keeps me feeling well.
Lyme, erlichosis, bartonella, herpes, EBV. 4 years undiagnosed despite 10 drs.
Current meds: tetracycline, amanatadine, neurontin, xanax, valtrex
Prior meds: amoxicillin, probenecid, doxy. IV refused by insurance.
THERE ARE ROUGH DAYS, TOUGH DAYS BUT ALSO GOOD DAYS. MY BOYS GET ME THROUGH THE BAD AND I SO ENJOY THE GOOD DAYS WITH THEM!

Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35723
   Posted 9/10/2010 5:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Deejavu- "I do walk around bathfoot except in the winter time" and you say I"M goofy???? giggle, giggle, giggle!!!!!! Are you sure those heels aren't hurting you??? LOL LOL LOL!!!
Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we will never cease to be amused!!!! :)
May we all find peace along the journey to find healing.
"Absence of proof is not proof of absence" - Dr. Edwin Masters, great LLMD & researcher -RIP
Trav

Deejavu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 4282
   Posted 9/10/2010 5:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey, those foot baths have more than 1 purpose, they soften the calluses I have on my feet from walking around with no shoes or socks on!  And yeah, I am most certainly Goofy! Certifiably (is that how you spell it?) Goofball!  LOL!
 
Ummm, it has to be the right high heels cause if their not, they do hurt..  I am very careful as to what high heels I do wear, only the comfy ones..  yeah!
It's all about Detoxing Daily, strengthening the Immune System mixed with a dose of Positive Thinking!
 
This song is about my years with chronic lyme since 1995 and being symptom free for over 4 years:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds81S61UvPA
 
Currently taking Estrovera, ProgX (progesterone), Adrenotone Plus, CoQ10, Vitamin B Total, C, Green Vibrance, CALM (Magnesium/Calcium)

Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35723
   Posted 9/10/2010 5:28 PM (GMT -6)   
No heels for me, thank you - unless they are attached to a pair of boots!!!! :)
Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we will never cease to be amused!!!! :)
May we all find peace along the journey to find healing.
"Absence of proof is not proof of absence" - Dr. Edwin Masters, great LLMD & researcher -RIP
Trav

Deejavu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 4282
   Posted 9/10/2010 5:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Ahhh, how I love my boots with heels... Makes me feel much taller and I am already 5'6 unless I shrunk a bit from age..  wish my feet would shrink instead of getting bigger!  cool
It's all about Detoxing Daily, strengthening the Immune System mixed with a dose of Positive Thinking!
 
This song is about my years with chronic lyme since 1995 and being symptom free for over 4 years:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds81S61UvPA
 
Currently taking Estrovera, ProgX (progesterone), Adrenotone Plus, CoQ10, Vitamin B Total, C, Green Vibrance, CALM (Magnesium/Calcium)

+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 9/10/2010 9:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Ohhhhhhhh..... SO much thanks to ALL of you! And yeah, I'm mostly barefoot, so I have NO idea HOW to pull myself up by any boot straps!

Traditionally, for work I wear only sandals during warmer weather and only boots in the winter -- not real dressy, but dress boots w/ heels. 2 pr black, 2 pr brown. Oh, and I have a couple pair of mules/clogs. Had to get rid of all sandals w/ heels, can no longer wear them.

Not just my back, but per my feet, I have learned I cannot wear ANY kind of heel, at least to work, anymore. Have accumulated my clogs and boots over a few years and looks like the boots are gonna have to go. Scheezam! They were a staple for me all winter! no agonizing over what to wear. Either the black boots or the brown ones. The clogs are OK for me, good. But have had trouble finding clogs that don't cost about $100!

Deeja -- well, work or no work, the heels have been leaving my home, bit by bit. I need them because I am so short (5'1) and chunky, but crap, I'm just gonna have to be short and chunky.

You ALL have helped me more than you know. I HATE that we are all psychotic (anxiety and depression are bad enough), but it helps to know I am not alone w/ this problem. And that it isn't just that I am totally losing my sanity.

It is SO unfair that we have to go ON pushing ourselves. I have never minded putting in a hard day's work, but now I find myself resentful that I HAVE to PUSH AND PUSH while suffering pain and mental anguish. It just sucks, doesn't it?

Thank you, ALL of you for your chimes. I don't know how it will feel the next time this crap sneaks up on me, but for now, it has helped tremendously. Even your corney jokes!
Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia,  chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
 
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.

bucci
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 1477
   Posted 9/11/2010 4:25 AM (GMT -6)   
lyme+ ,,what antibiotics or other meds r u on? i get to that point everyday. yjat i just cant fac the fight or really dont want to anymore. my life id complete mess.
hep c , lyme
Dad has lyme

Razzle
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4396
   Posted 9/11/2010 7:17 AM (GMT -6)   
+Lyme,

You are most certainly not alone in these feelings. I've had my share of breakdowns, temper tantrums, yelling fits, etc. Not to mention the anxiety about things that don't really even matter...or the fits of OCD that have my brain all tied up in knots over one thought... It is precisely the emotional/mental stuff that has me eagerly trying to find somewhere to get the homeopathic remedy that best describes the craziness that comes with Lyme - that is, Aurum Arsenicum, as described in the book by Peter Alex - "The Homeopathic Treatment of Lyme Disease."

Anyway, I hope you feel better. Take care,
-Razzle
Chronic Lyme & Bartonella, Gluten & Sulfite Sensitivity, Many Food/Inhalant/Medication/Chemical Allergies & Intolerances, Asthma, Gut issues (dysmotility, non-specific inflammation), UCTD ("Secondary Lupus-Like Syndrome"), Osteoporosis, etc.; G-Tube; TPN via PICC (trying again to wean off the TPN).
Meds:  IV Cipro, Heparin (to flush PICC line), Singulair, Claritin, Domperidone, Colloidal Silver, probiotics, digestive enzymes, Milk Thistle & other liver support herbs, Magnesium, Progessence+ (wild yam + essential oils), Moducare, homeopathy.

Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35723
   Posted 9/11/2010 9:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Sure glad the corny jokes helped & didn't hurt!!! I do worry about that, but most of the time I just can't help myself!!!!
Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we will never cease to be amused!!!! :)
May we all find peace along the journey to find healing.
"Absence of proof is not proof of absence" - Dr. Edwin Masters, great LLMD & researcher -RIP
Trav

+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 9/11/2010 9:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Bucci, bless your heart, I am so sorry, because I know exactly how you feel and it is becoming H-LL.  You too, Razzle.  This used to come on only in the late afternoon and would pass in a few hours -- altho I was a little fragile most of the time. I'm more fragile now, most of the time, but the worst comes on in the afternoon -- seems to start earlier and earlier.

I am on augmentin, thyroid meds (synthroid), amitriptyline (sp?), xanax, megadoses of C, garlic 3X day, E, amino acids, B complex, mineral complex, beta carotine, D3 (5000 mg), selenium, and probably a couple other supplements I can't remember now.

I feel for everybody that is going thru this. I am scared and at these times am at a complete loss about what to do. I cry and bawl a lot and most often end up on the floor w/ my dogs trying to lick me to death, or on my hands and knees, praying and begging for strength and relief.

I try to do the things some of you have suggested, but most of the time I'm kind of paralyzed -- I know I want to wash my face and brush my teeth so that I might be able to go to bed early, but often, even this simple chore is more than I can face. The other day, before I wrote my original post, was the first time I felt real anger and WRATH--- as opposed to the hopeless, desperate, confused feelings racing thru my head. I get very scared. I still find myself trying to rationalize suicide, ALTHO I KNOW THAT I WON'T DO IT. Still I get scared that if this progresses, maybe I won't be able to hold onto that part of sanity.

My work situation is sure not helping, in fact it's a big problem for me. Takes every bit of strength I have to not just walk out, or just not go there anymore. Just be homeless if I have to. And I MIGHT do that, if it weren't for the health insurance that pays my Drs. Can't survive w/o THAT.

bucci
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 1477
   Posted 9/11/2010 9:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Lyme+
so you ARE on ABX right now? are you ready for this one? I just read about taking showers and scrubbing your body with borax.

I am really tempted to try it. It sounds nuts. I am gonna try find that sight . it was on another forum. I saw it last night.

do you do coffee enema? that is for me has been most helpful . I have been doing them for 15 yrs because I was diagnosed with hep c and thought this was what all these lyme symptoms was.

what is your adrenals like. they say if you are on thyroid and your cortisol is not in line it can make you go crazy.
I really know the feeling where you are at. it gets pretty bleak and black. I also take choline and inosotol. the brain function if it dipps to low can take the will to live away for me. I think the biggest thing for many of us is after a decade or two or three of this we start to say to ourselves everyday at some point."where is this all going?" what keeps me trying and hanging on? how much more can I take and why would I want to. I can't make any plans or try to start a job or business porject because I will only be able to put one third of energy into it at best. the isolation is dangerous for me but I do need my alone time but not when I am crying in a ball. I know that feeling .
hep c , lyme
Dad has lyme

Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 35723
   Posted 9/11/2010 10:23 AM (GMT -6)   
If Western medicine and all of it's drugs (which I am a regular partaker in) aren't helping any, why continue to do the same things that haven't helped? Why not try a Naturopathic doc, or a Master Herbalist, or even an Acupuncture Therapist?

What have you got to lose at this point??

I'm really not pushing anyone - I promise, I'm more curious as to why. I know that for some it's all about the money end of this disease (been there myself), but for me it was just a matter of finding a decent alternative med doc in my area.
Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we will never cease to be amused!!!! :)
May we all find peace along the journey to find healing.
"Absence of proof is not proof of absence" - Dr. Edwin Masters, great LLMD & researcher -RIP
Trav

+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 9/12/2010 12:52 PM (GMT -6)   
WEll, Trav, the reason I have not yet (key word 'yet') turned to naturopaths, etc, is because I don't feel I've had enough 'standard' treatment yet. I had 2 mo of abx last year, after which I had a lot of relief. Because I didn't have the out of pocket to continue w/ that LLMD, I waited until I was finally called in by an LLMD who takes my insurance, and who claims his patients get better.

I've been on these abx now for 2 months and some of the sick Lyme feelings have improved -- altho they do flare up very nastily at times -- and this Dr believes I am herxing. He also thinks that my mental/ emotional issues are from herxing. I don't know if this could be true or not, but I do recall bad mental issues while on abx last year.

Lately, I have felt way past 'mental issues', at times almost psychotic, and that is why I posted here. I wanted to know for sure if this disease, or the herxes could actually cause one to feel THAT bad, and so far, I'm hearing that they can.

I have also had untreated babesia for over 3 yrs now. I don't completely understand my Dr wanting to hold off on that treatment for a little bit -- he says he doesn't want to add 'insult to injury' by adding babesia herxes. Personally, when I get sick (not just in the head), I believe it is the babs. Another couple of weeks and I think I can nag him again.

I personally do not have the cash to see anyone else or any alternative treatments at this time. Doing what I can w/ the vitamins and detox.

I am also holding out a lot of hope for LDN. He has expressed a willingness to prescribe this if I was able to find a compounding pharmacy and could afford it. It is covered by my insurance and is supposed to be cheap.

So I have just located the pharmacy and sent him the message about it and really hoping to get to try this.

Both here and on the MS board, I have read mixed reviews and many say it has not helped them. What I have noted on the LDN info sites is 1) This should not be compounded as extended/ time released, because it is not effective that way, but many pharmacies have done this anyway. 2) The compounding pharmacy MUST ensure TOP QUALITY compounding (or whatever you call it) or it will not be effective.

I read that 2 people would have wildly varying experiences, until the one whose health was deteriorating switched to the others' pharmacy. And then they would experience improvement.

So I am hoping that, knowing this, we can get a good product.

So, as I said, Traveler, at this time I am stuck w/ what my insurance will pay for, and to whom. For some reason, I believe that abx CAN eradicate Lyme disease and it's a matter of finding the abx that will work for a person and the right dose. But, also, unfortunately, I think it's possible that someone who's been on abx for so long, may be facing a built up immunity to them, and/or another chronic virus or infection is preventing improvement. I'm betting that most of us have infections and viruses we don't even know about.
 
Right now, I am scared to death of proceeding into MS or Parkinson's, etc and that's a huge reason I am anxious to get onto LDN.

Post Edited (+Lyme) : 9/12/2010 12:55:07 PM (GMT-6)


achievinggrace
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 3266
   Posted 9/12/2010 1:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Gosh, +Lyme, no wonder you are having such trouble -- you've hardly had any treatment! I hope you can see some more improvement soon.

As I understood my own treatment and what others have reported on this forum, it is necessary to treat the Babesia before you can cure the Lyme. However, I think I was three or four months into treatment before my co-infections were addressed, so perhaps your doctor is wisely trying to avoid a herx that would be completely debilitating. You do seem to have enough reaction to deal with as it is.

Grab onto those dogs and hold on for dear life!

namaste44
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 9/12/2010 3:19 PM (GMT -6)   
+Lyme, I can relate to a lot of what you are going through and wondering what your diet is like? I know for me coffee is a very strong stimulant that causes me anxiety, and I know it's not the cause but it does stimulate it so I never drink coffee.

What has helped me is deep breathing (yogic breathing) and I think cutting wheat / gluten and dairy also helps, occasionally I will have Goat cheese and only eat organic white meats / eggs.

The best supplements for anxiety and depression for me have been Relora (which also helps blood sugar), Shizandra, and L-Thianine which is an amino acid that really does work! I take only the pill form because the tinctures have some alcohol content which obviously can't be taken with abx.

I'm wondering also if you have had your thyroid levels checked? Not just TSH but reverse T3 and T4. My T3 levels are low which causes depression and anxiety. Since I've been on T3 (Troche from a compound pharmacy) I have improved a lot with depression. I also have other hormonal issues and taking bio-identical progesterone which also helps. You will need a doctor who does prescribe bio-identical hormones - I think it's so worth looking into!

Hope this helps.
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