I must concur with Philski and Beth, migraines make us ugly people. By nature I'm a friendly, outgoing, happy person. With migraines I'm a grumpy, depressed, frustrated person. It takes a toll on our marriages as well. I had half a mind to try and get my husband to write this message to you (but he's not the social one of the two of us ).
My migraines started up again soon after I met my husband (13 years ago) and have worsened severely during the last 5 years. The worst has been the last year during which I was off work for 6 months on disability. I know now that we can make it through just about anything.
As my headaches got worst we would fight a lot because we were angry and frustrated with the headaches. We've learned how to work together now and get mad at the headaches and fight them together. So now, instead of being angry at each other we're angry together at the headaches.
I get grumpy because I just can't wake up with another headache again. Or I don't want to go another day with a headache. I feel a lot of guilt because I miss a lot of things and have lost a lot of relationships with friends because I'm always sick. I don't make as much money because I can't do as difficult a job. I can't carry as much of the load at home and I often just want to lie in bed.
The thing that helped us was that I started seeing a psychologist that specialized in chronic pain. She taught me relaxation exercises, how to lighten up on myself and how to give my husband a break. My husband's not into counselling so he wouldn't go but that didn't mean I couldn't make changes that affected both of us.
Philski is absolutely right, try another neurologist. It may take many medications to find the one that works. Or another idea is push the current neurologist to try new things. It took a few visits for my neurologist to understand the severity of my migraines and my commitment to fixing the problem. Once he understood he was on the case and has been willing to try anything and everything. We've thrown everything against the wall to see what sticks.
Sorry this has been so long, I hope it helps. Good luck. Be patient. You and your husband will get through it.
Welcome to the Boards! I would say that the action of the day is to find a new doctor, preferably a neurologist. Second would be a change in medication - a preventative to keep from getting that attack, and an abortive when he gets really cranky.
I would really blackmail him into this, poining out that his children aren't getting any younger, and he will never get these years back. He doesn't want to be the old man whose children come to visit twice a year, and get the yearly school picture in the mail. The more guilty you can make him feel, the more lilely he is to sign up for the program.
Hope this helps,
May I kindly add my two cents about guilt. I have so much guilt attached to my headaches / migraines that if someone added anymore it would send me over the edge causing me to withdraw rather than force me to do something.
I find that empathy and working together as partners is much more effective whenever possible. If your husband will let you be part of his treatment, visits to the doctors and research and education he may find your strength helpful in coping.
Just my perspective.
Welcome to the forum.
I have to apologize, but your message made me smile. It's not funny as I laid in bed all day with a migraine. But it made me smile because I know exactly what you mean about vomitting. Your description of your migraine today describes mine to a tee and I will also do anything to avoid vomitting, though usually feel a little better afterwards.
I share you aversion to throwing up and the only thing worse than throwing up is waking up to throw up. So hopefully your pain has subsided enough to share my smile.
If not, I'm sorry to hear about your terrible headache this morning. As I said. I get these types of headaches quite regularly. I take Gravol (in Canada) Dramamine (in the US) with whatever medication I take to stop the vomitting. I have become quite adept over the years at not getting sick. Cold is a good way - a cold pack, open a window, an ice pack, throw off all the covers. I don't let anyone get on or near the bed and I don't eat anything if I'm feeling that way. I drink water or herbal tea if I need something and lie very still.
Sara - that's gross
Tymaboy - Well said!
Thank you all so much for all your information and support.
I was talking to my mother-in-law today,and she said that she has been taking Depakote for migraines/seizures since 1996. I was wondering if anyone knows, or has an opinion about this: is it at all likely that family members would find the same medicine effective for their migraines? I mean, are the migraines of blood relatives likely to spring from the same cause, and therefore would respond to the same medication?
I also wonder if Depakote would be effective for my husband because, two years ago, when the migraines had recently started and he was admitted to the hospital for a week of observation, he was found to be having some seizures --though difficult to detect -- he had to be monitored constantly for days before any seizures were picked up.
Sorry for the long post. Take care, all.