What I've gained?
A clarity of vision. There is only today. I can't plan for tomorrow...or the future. I can only spend time this minute, doing these things. So I try to do them as best I can, as thoughtfully as I can; try to do some good, even if it is just one small thing. I don't mourn yesterday -- it's over, done with, can't go back. I don't worry about tomorrow. Just today. Then I go to bed, get up, and do it again.
I only worry about those things over which I have some control...and try to make that control worth something. There are TONS of things over which I have NO control...and worrying about those things only shortens the time I have to do other things. I "don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff."
I learned a long time ago that I have no control over anyone else's feelings, emotions, actions, behavior -- only my own. So I do what I can with mine, and let them do as they wish with theirs.
I briefly mourn losses (I wouldn't be human if I didn't!) but then move on. If I spent time cataloging and grieving every loss, I'd not have time or energy to see the good stuff. MS has taken away a lot...but I'm still alive, I still have abilities, I still have obligations...so I deal with those things, and not the losses.
And I've gained weight. I love food too much to diet, and with limited ability to exercise, the pounds came on. My weight is now stable -- has been for years -- but I'm carrying much more than I should, and more than I'd like, but I'm not doing anything about it.
Post Edited (Kiera) : 1/5/2008 5:48:32 AM (GMT-7)
Wow this is a great idea. I am so glad to not only think about my own gains but to learn from what others have gained.
I too have learned to take it one day at a time. I just do and live to my very best each day. I am so happy to still be able to do the things I can.
I have given up sweating the small stuff. I don't worry about the occasional poor grade earned by one of my boys. I don't worry about the house except that it is a way to teach my boys domestic responsibility. I don't worry about a lot of things now. I used to stress about so much but I have truly given that up.
I have a stronger relationship with God. I can get through this with His help.
I have come to cherish my relationships with others. MS is like a friend filter. You learn who was never your friend and you develop new friendships that are stronger. I have developed very strong friendships that have indeed sustained me through some rough times. I have a an awesome best friend who picks me up tirelessly and laughs with me daily - even though she suffers from worms .
I have found that doing for others is a real gift and a treat. It gets my head off my problems and gets me thinking in new directions.
I have learned that I am a courageous person. I have a much stronger love and appreciation for myself. I see what I can do while facing the challenge of this disease. And while this disease may knock me down, it cannot keep my down unless I choose to stay down. I choose to live and fight and enjoy every second I have on this earth.
Love and prayers,
I’m so glad you started this thread, Rhonda. Here’s some of what I’ve gained:
I’ve always loved to laugh, but I have a new appreciation for the importance of “funny,” and have found it amazing how much humor can help me get through rough times.
I’ve found out who my true friends are. I’ve also made some really amazing and compassionate new friends, who I would never have met otherwise.
I’ve learned to really appreciate and make the most out of days where I feel better, and to enjoy the little things in life, i.e. plants, squirrels. I am also more aware of how lucky I am in so many ways.
As several of you have already mentioned, I now know life is so much better when I take each day as it comes, and I don’t worry about the small stuff. Some days I am more successful than others at implementing this, but I now consciously know how important it is and aspire to live this way.
You told a great story. I have been wandering around reading your posts. You are truly an inspiration. Wow!! Thank you so much for posting. I live in Cal. too. And here is another odd coincidence. The man I married is an amputee. He lost his right foot after his friend hit him with a truck while he was riding a motorcycle. I also have a friend who has two girls and tried one more time for the boy and got twins - but she got twin boys. Shall we sing "It's a Small World" now???
So anyway, enough random thoughts for today. Thanks for that really great story. You are amazing.
Rhonda thanks for this great, great thread. Thanks to everyone for posting. Sunny, keep laughing.
Too late it already went to my head!!! You rock!! Flex those big tough MS fighting muscles. You ARE stronger than you think: we all are. We need to be thinking that all the time and we need to be our own best cheerleaders!! We can live with this and live can still be beautiful. We are courageous and strong and we can do this and live with this have fun too.
Thanks for posting. Aunts are wonderful, wonderful people. I am glad you are choosing to be the best Aunt you can be to your nephews. It truly takes a village to raise good kids these days and we need all the help anyone can give us. Thanks for doing all that you do.