You are dealing with the most difficult part of being chronically ill. When we find out we are ill, we progress through the same grieving stages as someone who has lost a loved one. It goes something like, shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then acceptance. Everyone progresses through this at their own pace and as long as you don't feel stuck then you will eventually get to acceptance. At anytime during this process you can go backwards before going forwards again. And once at acceptance, you don't always stay there. You can slip back into any of the other stages usually for a short period of time.
It kind of sounds like you are stuck in the denial stage. You may need to talk to a counselor who is familiar with these stages and how they effect the chronically ill.
You may want to purchase a book that has helped others. It is called MS and your feelings. It was written by a therapist that also happens to have MS. The author is Allison Shadday. You can order it on amazon but my local bookstore had it in stock so maybe yours will too. It was a wonderful investment for me. It asks that you do some work through journaling. I took that really seriously and I even had a good friend read my journal entries. That kept me honest and made me really think and make complete journal entries. This is not an easy process so be kind to yourself. Also try to remember that guilt is part of this for all of us. You didn't ask to have this disease.
I think at this point, you may not be ready to talk to the friend's mom with MS. I know that I didn't want to hear from anyone else on how to live with MS until I was a bit more grounded. If you don't feel comfortable yet, then give yourself permission to put that off. You do need a good doctor you can work with though. For most of us that means a neurologist but it can also be a good GP as well.
Good luck with all this, Heather. Someone once said that life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. I hope you feel this way soon. Keep posting - let us know how you are doing.
He loves you!!! Why do you find that so hard to believe?? You very clearly are a lovable, valuable and wonderful person. You show great courage and strength in dealing with not one but two chronic illnesses. Stop trying to do this all by yourself. Talk to your husband. He would want to know this!!
Hang in there, Heather. We are right here cheering for you.
You go girl!! You sound so much stronger. It was so nice to read your post. You can do this; you can fight this and find joy once again in your life. It is amazingly rewarding to find new ways to live your life when, as you say, your body is changing all the rules. I think of this disease as the enemy. This enemy is going to keep taking from me. But I have the choice to find a way to create meaning, and purpose and joy!!! It is my way at getting back at MS. Ha ha you can't take my soul!!! You can't have my happiness!!! So there!!!
Keep up the good fight!!!!