MS and use of viagra - advice from a male perspective

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Arfanna
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 11/24/2008 2:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello

My boyfriend has MS and has in the past 5 years been relatively symptom free.
 
Recently he relapsed and in amongst our discussions he has admitted that he has been using viagra for the last 2 months
 
I immediately looked to blame myself and he tells me its nothing to do with me!  I wanted to some advice from a males perspective to know how to handle this...what should I say, how should I react, how can I support him, how can I reassure him that this isnt an issue etc..
 
I have no issues with the use of viagra if he feels he needs it - however I dont think he does.  The very occassional lack of performance has coincided with booze - and so a very normal, expected lack of performance which isnt MS related in my opinion!
 
He says he doesnt feel like a man and finds it difficult to discuss....
 
can anyone shed any light on how they have successfully dealt with this sensitive issue.
 
Many thanks
 

Motown John
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 475
   Posted 11/24/2008 4:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Monday p.m.
 
Hello Arfana:
 
a)---what a pretty name...Afana...what does it mean? Origin?  Pre-Viagra....only erectile drug was one to be injected by needle.
 
Erectile prolblems are common problems with male MS patients.
 
And I'll bet it is male ego which is giving him problems....
 
You are special to still be involved with him.
 
John wink
 
 
 
DX'ed June 21st, 1987
 


Gretchen1
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3539
   Posted 11/24/2008 6:12 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Arfanna,

I am obviously not a male.  However I wanted to just add my opinion here.  One of THE MOST difficult aspects in dealing with MS, is when someone does not understand your symptoms.  If your boyfriend says he needs viagra then just trust that he does and let it go. 

You state that you don't feel he needs it.  That is like someone telling me I don't need my pain med. or other symptom support.  Your obseravation of him being symptom free doesn't mean he is.  He, like the rest of us, probably deals with symptoms everyday and he has just learned to carry on.  Please try to be supportive of what he is dealing with. 

Hummmmm.... after reading this.  It sounds a bit harsh.  I certainly don't mean this to be.  I am just trying to give you another perspective.


Gretchen       co-moderator MS board       diagnosed with MS July 2006
 
I have no lesions on my soul and so I will live with no limits.


Kimber
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 1852
   Posted 11/24/2008 7:43 PM (GMT -6)   

Hello Arfanna,

    My husband has had MS for a long time and we've come across this too.  MS sometimes make the plumbing not work for them and to them it's a big deal, even if we think it isn't.  Please believe me when I tell you if he thinks he needs help in that area then let him be.  After a while he might discover himself if or when he really does need it and your reassurance and trusting of his judgement is very important in more ways than you think.   Some boosting of the ego might help  tongue


 


rhondab
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2146
   Posted 11/24/2008 7:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Arfanna

I agree with the others here. Back him up. My husband doesn't have ms, but does have performance issues and at first it was a bit scary to me. I didn't want to think that he needed it any help and so i stayed quiet. My silence we harmful. He knows himself better than u. If he feels he needs it and has been able to talk to u and tell u that, then back him up. Support him in all ways u can. Sexual performance is a VERY BIG deal to men and if he's opened up and talked to u about it, then it's got to be serious to him. Support u'r mate here friend...be his friend...and if it turns out to be more alcohol related then so beit. The point is that u took his word for it and without asking questions, stood with him.
rhonda
Co-Moderator, MS Forum
 
*~*Sometimes the Lord calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.*~*
 
Things that make u go hummmm......
*I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.*
*One day without sunshine is like...um..well...night?*

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