I'm sorry to hear everything you are going through. I honestly don't know the best advice to give except recommending that you seek help, for yourself and your children. They need their father. They need him well emotionally and physically. As you said, drinking is a crutch, and not a very good one at that. It would be ashame to hurt some one else in your pain. I know you don't want that, so you should seek some counseling and help for the drinking and/or depression related to all these stressors going on. I just want you to know I said a prayer for you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you well. God bless!
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
23 years old;
Feb 2009 Dx: Acute Disseminated Ecephalomyelitis (ADEM)
Aug 2009 Dx: Brainstem Encephalitis August
Meds: Provigil, Nexium, Lexapro, Adivan, Baclofen, Topomax
Did 1000 mg IV solumedrol for 8 days then weened for 1 and a half months from mid Feb-late March
A merry heart does good like a medicine; but a broken spirit dries the bones.
"This too shall pass."