Best friend revealing your condition to another

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whiteflag
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/24/2010 3:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, please excuse this long post of mine but I don't know who else to turn to. I am hoping some of you, any of you, can help me. I really need some perspective on something that has just thrown me off balance.

I'm a guy and my closest friend is a guy, we are old college friends. I confided in him 3 years ago about a medical condition I have (MS). The same time I met a friend of his (a girl) who I really liked, and she and I became good friends and have remained good friends ever since.
My friend and this girl started dating recently and broke it off, yet she and I have remained friends.

I found out recently that my friend told her about my medical condition the same time I told him about it (3 yrs ago), which is also the same time I met her. When I asked him how he could go and do something like that, that it was something told to him in CONFIDENCE, he said it just slipped out, and apologized to me. This has really thrown me off balance and I don't know how to deal with this, and it is really affecting me that he breached my confidence on something so sensitive. To add to that, that this is one of the first things she got to know about me. And although we are still good friends today, I can't help but think that our friendship started on the footing of this knowledge.

Does anyone have any perspective on this? I am a very private person, I don't talk about my medicals to anyone (except a very few friends know about the MS). He is not a friend I'd like to lose but now I am having trust issues and it's causing me a lot of anxiety.

The biggest thing going through my mind is he revealed what I told him in confidence.

Thanks, any advice or opinion would be appreciated.

Kimber
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 1852
   Posted 2/24/2010 6:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Whiteflag,

I can understand how upset this makes you, but is it possible that your friend also needed someone to confide in about this? It's been my experience when friends are told about health problems, especially ones that arent going away, some tend to jump ship because they don't know how to handle it. People are not perfect and true friends are hard to find. Since you have confronted him and expressed your feelings about it and he has apologized, maybe give him another chance?
 


WhiteStone
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 63
   Posted 2/26/2010 10:47 AM (GMT -6)   
It is quite hurtful when someone exposes you like that; I have had it happen to me about my childhood trauma...I was quite angered initially, but have resolved it by understanding how imperfect we all truly are...it took me a couple of weeks to get to this point (and yes, I spoke to my friend about this and we repaired the relationship) but feel much better not carrying it around...we forgive for ourselves...big hugs, J
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell. (Buddha)


Queen of the Colon
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 143
   Posted 3/10/2010 7:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes forgive your friend - especially if the girl was his girlfriend. You sort of tell your girlfriend everything, and they are your support network.

he would have needed to ask for help too on how to process and deal with the information

we are not perfect and he is your good friend

sounds like maybe you might like the girl to be your girlfriend and think maybe the knowledge you have MS might put her off. It will not at all. If a guy is terrific who cares if he has MS? it's no big deal.
Female, 35. Diagnosed December 2009 after 4 months of pain, blood and mucous.
sulfasalazine prescribed but never taken as my flare went away with small liquid meals, probiotics and vitamins.

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