Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer (Romans 12:12).
Stella Marie Chronic Pain Forum Moderator
Progressive neurodegenerative disease called Multiple System Atrophy, muscle spasms, muscle pain, neuropathy, & neuropathic pain, central sleep apnea, osteoarthritis, and 2 pain implants – intrathecal pain medication pump and an SCS (spinal cord stimulator). Extra fun little toys and gadgets; O2 generator and assorted wheelchairs, walkers, canes, and orthotic braces. Med - too many too list or even care about!
Hi there and good afternoon..quite the interesting and touching post. I have not posted here for quite some time, and would like to add my comments to this.....on other sites this topic comes up every so often, regarding dating, should I, should I not, friends that were, friends that still are....etc.... here'sy take on this....
Sadly, we live in a culture that pressures us to be 'perfect', what ever perfect really means. We live in a society which values and reinforces artificially created ideas of physical perfection. Look at the clothing industry of today - if you are a female and if u do not wear size zero, then your selection process for picking out clothing is limited to the girls who look like sticks. It is things like this, and many other perfect infused cultural ideas that push us to feeling inferior - like when we are with friends, or a partner for dating purposes. All this eats into our self-esteem and somehow, we have to find ways of remaining confident in ourselves.
Before you/we start dating in my opinion, we need to make sure our heads are in the right place. Regardless of disability, starting a relationship when we do not feel good about ourselves may not be the best way to go. Easier said then done, I know.
In my way of thinking, and I do stand to be correctred, if you believe you're inferior, you'll be perceived that way: But if you think about the things that maintain a relationship, it is not the so called "perfect" outer shell that does it, it is things like a great sense of humor, thoughtfulness, a sense of adventure, honesty and truthfulness. So don't define yourself by your disability; it's only one part of you. It can be all too easy to use your disability as a comfort zone by telling yourself you can't chat someone up, or that someone might have to take care of you, or you just might have to miss a date cause you are not feeling well or because you are in a wheel chair for instance- it may actually be because you, like many people like us feel shy and maybe lacking a bit of self confidence to persue your happiness and dreams. You will and sounds like you have found your dream man, without either of you knowing it, you were both out there looking for each other. You will take him and he will take you for the beautiful people that you are. So keep a smile on your face and your head up, as what you have is a wonderful thing to have.
Anyhow my two cents worth, mind you with all of this verbage, it is likely more like a nickel - ha!!! Thanks for your time and your ear, and have a fabulous day.
Post Edited (Queen of the Colon) : 4/14/2010 7:01:59 PM (GMT-6)
Post Edited (Queen of the Colon) : 4/20/2010 8:18:29 AM (GMT-6)
After all "he is a man"......what the heck does that mean?