Post Edited (Papa_Bear) : 9/20/2006 6:26:40 PM (GMT-6)
Yes, that's the real challenge of this (and other) chronic disease -- it is very uncertain how it will affect each individual, and there simply is no way to predict it's outcome.
I am 25 years old, single homeowner with no kids. I work as an RN. After being diagnosed I found working full time with 13hour shifts was difficult so I cut to part time and use the extra time to continue my education. I am now getting married for finacial reasons. I find the bills overwhelming and the fatigue is getting worse. I am marrying a man I have been with for 7 years on Oct 14th =). I will graduate in Dec with my BSN and will start next fall on my Nurse Practioner. Eventually I want to have my PhD and teach at a university level. Throughout my life I have dealt with stress by planning for the future.
With the unexpectness of MS, planning for the future has gotten really hard. I just don't know what tommarrow will bring like I thought I did when I didn't have MS. Sometimes I wonder "will I be a 'safe' NP with my ms?" due to memory problems I can have. With my fatigue I wonder if I could make it through the rigors of getting a doctorial degree...Oh yeah, and I want to have kids but will I be a good mom??? There is a lady at work that is just bitter towards me, talking to her I found out her grandmother had MS and her mother HATED her grandmother because of it. Her mom felt that gma wasn't a good mother and only cared for herself!
How do I deal with this? To be honest I don't think I deal with it very well. I feel like the worst is coming and I need to expect it but there is no way to prepare for it effectively. At times...and I hate to say this... I HOPE for the WORST to happen so then I could move forward and know what I have to work with. I know this isn't going to happen. In real life, I take it one day at a time. I go to work when I can. I write papers and attend class when I need to. I am marrying a man that has been with me from good times to bad, my estate is in a trust, I have a power of attorney written, an advance directive, and a will in place.
Pete, I understand where u are coming from and I wonder what those have done to effectively deal with MS. I think we are all diffrent in ways of coping, but u asked what I have been doing so I told u =)